Ensconced in the Q Bureau, Lee and Amanda waited for Billy to join them. They had arrived thirty minutes ago, announced Lee’s presence to the section chief and settled in to wait. Lee watched as Amanda fidgeted around the office in a way that she’d not done in weeks. They’d re-opened and aired the office for her only a few days ago. After Lee’s disappearance, she’d refused to work up there.

Instead of moving someone in to take their places, Billy had simply closed the area, redistributed the open cases to other agents and left it alone. A week ago, when Billy had asked her to go back to her old job and the office, she’d accepted eagerly for both of them. When Lee was cleared, he would be joining her in their old abode and both of them looked forward to that day, wholeheartedly.

Lee sat perched on the edge of his freshly dusted desk and watched her pace the confined space, her booted footsteps echoing dully on the gleaming, polished floor. “Amanda… come here.”

She paused and smiled. Stepping to him, she reached for his hands and he felt her warmth steady him. “I’m sorry… I have no idea why I’m so nervous about this.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you didn’t want me back here with you.” Lee teased her, chuckling when her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to retort. Instead of allowing her to speak, he pulled her quickly to him and kissed her hard on the mouth. “Sh… I’m just teasing you, Amanda.”

Before she could reply, the door swung open and Billy entered. “Lee … it’s good to see you. How are you doing?” He chuckled as he saw them jump apart.

“I’m good, Billy, really.” But neither he nor Amanda could look Billy in the face as he spoke.

“Why don’t I believe that, Scarecrow?”

“Look, Billy, I will be fine… I just need to get back in the swing of things, you know? I think if I can get back on the job, I’ll straighten out in no time at all.” Lee smiled winningly, hoping to convince one of his oldest friends of this half-truth. He failed.

Billy pulled around a chair and sat next to Lee’s perch on the desk. “Lee… Smyth is, of course, more than willing for you to go ahead with your session with Pfaff and I know we need to get you back into the mainstream, to find out what you know about this situation and what can be salvaged.” He held up a restraining hand when Lee started to rise. “But… I’m not sure enough to risk your health, again… You just don’t look good, Lee. You’re pale, you’re thin… and it’s only been two and half weeks since you left the hospital, weak, dizzy and still under the effects of the drugs that were pumped into your system. You’re supposed to be resting, recuperating. What’s the rush, man?”

Drawing in a deep breath, Lee looked to Amanda, and finally back to Billy. Time to come clean… for his sanity and maybe more… “Billy… I can’t rest… I’m having flashbacks and nightmares… I think I know something, up here.” He tapped one finger against his temple. “I think it has something to do with Silverstone and maybe even how it got into German hands.” Lee stood and now he paced in Amanda’s place. “I hear voices and I think they’re telling secrets, intelligence that was classified, top secret. I know the voice. I… I think it might have been me, Billy. Lee had grown agitated and now he stopped and slammed his hands down on the desktop. Freshly trimmed pencils and clean paper went flying. “There was someone there, at Marsh’s estate, who knew more than was good for them and us… and he didn’t mind sharing with the class. And I think I was that someone. I betrayed the Agency and the country.” Silence overcame the room after his explosion, his harsh breathing the only break in the tension.

Billy had jumped slightly at the outburst then looked to Amanda for her take on the situation. She was calm and focused on Lee. Approaching him, she softly spoke his name and laid one soothing hand on his shoulder. After Lee stood upright and pulled himself together, they both faced Billy, together. Billy smiled widely; this was a sight he hadn’t seen in way too long. Scarecrow and Mrs. King, a team. Perhaps, together, they were ready for Lee to come back.

Sobering he considered Lee’s words about Silverstone. They’d lost a major operation there. If Lee had talked… the Germans had it all. Lee was the leader of that operation and he’d known all there was to know about it. Despite his misgivings about Lee’s physical readiness, Billy knew it was worth whatever it took to get the information out of Lee’s muddled mind. They’d deal with the repercussions later…

“Very well, Lee. Pfaff says he will see you whenever you feel up to it.” Billy stood and extended a hand to his friend. “I’ll tell him you’ll be down shortly.” The short, stout man strode to the door and turned the knob. Looking back over his shoulder, he spoke once more, “It’s great to have you back, Lee. And that won’t change… regardless.” He flung open the door and left them alone, once more.

Side by side, Lee and Amanda waited until the door closed and they were sure they were alone, then turned to each other’s embrace. Some habits were hard to break.

A very short fifteen minutes later, Lee and Amanda approached Pfaff’s door. Amanda squeezed his hand and started to take her leave. “No, Amanda, stay. I want you to stay and hear what I know… I need to know that someone I trust is there.”

“Lee, you know you can trust Dr. Pfaff…” He interrupted her before she could finish her statement.

“I know I’m supposed to trust him… But, Amanda, I can’t even trust myself right now… I need you there, please?” He asked quietly, with as much dignity as his shaky control could muster.

Only able to nod, Amanda followed him into Pfaff’s outer office.

The room was darkened. Lee lay on the long couch. Pfaff sat beside him, pen in hand poised over the pad that lay propped on his crossed legs. Amanda sat as still as possible in the farthest corner. Pfaff had objected to her presence at first, but had come around when told that Amanda was there in case anything urgent was revealed that needed immediate attention.

Now Pfaff spoke, his voice calm and even. The mini-recorder hummed, nearly silent, on the table nearby. “Lee… I want you to remember the last time you were here, in the Agency, working.” He scribbled a note on the pad and then prompted Lee. “Tell me what you were doing.”

“I was working on Operation Silverstone. We had a very important meeting and I needed to be prepared.” Lee’s voice was slightly slower than usual and his even, hypnotized tone never wavered as he spoke.

“Very good, Lee. You’re finished with that and you’re ready to leave for the day. Where are you going?”

“Manda’s.” A small smile played over his face.

“Okay, you’re there. Tell me what you see.”

“The house. The boys have left their bikes out again. Need to move them so that they don’t get run over…”

Pfaff raised his eyebrows and cocked a look at Amanda in the far corner. She was focused on Lee and didn’t see the speculative glance she received. Pfaff moved on… the marriage was old news at the Agency anyway.

“Do you move them, Lee?” He was slowly bringing Lee up to the point where he’d been captured by using Amanda’s recollections of the event, pulled earlier that day from the file on her debriefing.

“No, I was getting out of the car… I stopped to put on my wedd…” He paused; his body stiffened and his face showed his concern.

“It’s okay, Lee. We know about the wedding ring and your marriage. Tell me what happened next.” Pfaff made a mental note to congratulate them and send a belated wedding gift.

Relaxing, Lee nodded and began again. “I put on my ring and then started to open the door. I turned around and saw someone standing there. It’s Forrester. He’s got a gun and a needle. I, Ohhhh, damn that stings…” He stopped talking and his head slumped to the side.

From behind them, Amanda leaned forward, her concern evident. Pfaff raises a hand to curtail her approach. She nods and sinks back to her seat and into the shadows of the edge of the room.

“Lee… you’re waking up from the drug now….wake up… I want you to tell me where you are…” He spoke sternly and Lee responded.

“We’re in a parking lot… a warehouse, I think. Forrester has a gun pointed at my head and I see… Amanda… she followed us… No, Amanda… don’t come any closer. Stay back, please… she has a gun… she can’t hit a target at that distance… I’m not sure I could… not like this…” He grew agitated and twisted the cushion on the couch under him with one hand. Lee gritted his teeth, his jaw clamped so hard that Pfaff feared for his teeth. Just as he was about to wake him with the pre-arranged release command, Lee relaxed and his jaw went slack. His head slumped to the side again.

Slightly alarmed, Pfaff called Lee’s name sharply, “Lee… answer me. Where are you now?”

“I don’t know… I was hit on the head, I think… ahhh… hurts like a son of a bitch…shit.” He raised one hand and gingerly rubbed at his left temple.

Now dropping the notepad and relying on the recorder to take down the details of the session, Pfaff leaned forward and focused all of his attention on Lee. They were now at Marsh’s estate if their hypothesis of Lee’s experience was correct. “Look around. Tell me what you see.”

“It’s dark… I’m in a small room. I’m on a bed… I can’t move… Handcuffed I think. Can’t get my hands together though. Must be cuffed to the frame on both sides. Feet, too.” His arms and feet jerked as he spoke, as if he were struggling.

“It’s okay, Lee. You don’t have to fight. Just relax and tell me what’s happening around you.”

Lee quit moving, but his body remained stiff and tense. He nervously licked his lips and swallowed. Nodding, he moved his head around, as if seeing his prison again. “There is the bed I’m on and a small table… a glass cabinet on the wall… Damn… there are drugs and needles in there. There are no pictures on the walls and no windows. Wait… the door is opening. Someone is coming in. It’s Phillip Marsh and some other men… What does Phillip Marsh have to do with this?” Lee’s expression became puzzled.

“Do you know the other men, Lee?”

“No… I’ve never seen them before… they’re unknowns.” His tone and manner indicated that he was deep under now, lost in the past and his horrible experience and that he was not recalling that he’d seen pictures of all of the men involved, including the Dougan brothers and the German who was suspected of having wanted to buy Lee and his information.

“Are they speaking to you, Lee?”

“Yes, they want to know about Silverstone. They want names and places… they know I’m the project leader…” Lee flinches and his head jerks back. “They want me to talk… damn… that’s a big guy… knows how to use his fists, too.” Lee grunted and his arms curled protectively about his stomach.

Pfaff quickly interceded, seeing that Lee was reliving the pain as well as the actions. “Lee, that’s enough. They’re not hitting you anymore. What are they doing now?”

“Marsh is going to the cabinet… getting a needle and a bottle… oh God… he’s gonna inject me with something else…” He hissed out a breath and rubbed his left inner elbow. His speech slurred and slowed… “Still not going to tell about Silverstone… gonna have to use more than that to get me…”

Lee’s head slumped for the third time as Pfaff checked his pulse. “One hundred twenty.” He murmured then spoke softly to Amanda. “We can go on for another few minutes, then I’m gonna have to pull him out… his heart won’t handle much more than this now… he’s still too weak.” At her nod, he added. “I’m gonna try to get him to summarize the experience… see if he can tell us things in big lumps instead of bit by bit… that might help.”

“Lee, can you still hear me?” When the man answered with an affirmative nod, Pfaff sat next to the agent again and once again checked the quality of his pulse. Attaching a small monitor to his finger, he watched the readings showing his heart rate fluctuate then stabilize at 110. Keeping an eye on the red numbers, he spoke once again. “Lee, can you tell me how often you were treated this way and what they asked of you?” When he’d spoken, he’d had no idea how close Lee was to the edge of total recall. That one last question was all it took. Lee nodded, his face grim and the words tumbled out.

“Everyday at first… they’d ask questions, when I wouldn’t answer, the big guy would use his fists. That never worked, so they’d resort to the drugs and the needles…” Lee moaned, a low feral sound that echoed in his chest. “I tried… so hard… but the drugs… they confused me… I saw Billy and Amanda and then they weren’t there… I think I may have told them about Silverstone then… when I saw them as Billy…” He raggedly drew in a deep breath and shook his head. His eyes remained closed and what he saw in his mind confused him now, too. “Yes… I told Billy all about the latest on Silverstone… wait… that’s not Billy, it’s Marsh…. Oh shit… what did I do? What did I do? They’ve got it all… they recorded everything, I know it… I hear the tape recorders in the back ground, clicking and whirring…” Lee began to thrash on the couch, his arms swinging and his legs kicking. The monitor on his finger let out a sharp squeal before being dashed to the floor in his struggles. He stood and tried to walk away from what he saw in his mind. “I’ve got to get out of here… gotta stop them… gotta stop them…”

“Lee! Stand down! Stand down!” Pfaff barked the pre-set release command.

Lee suddenly sagged back onto the couch. He gasped and wiped the sweat off his forehead. His eyes opened and he blinked in the dim light of the office. “Oh God… I remember it all… I did break… I betrayed Silverstone.”