TRY PREVENTION. If you determine that the biting occurs as the result of exploration or teething, you may want to provide the child with a cloth or teething ring to gnaw on.
If a child seems to bite when tired or hungry, you may want to look at your daily routine to be sure that he is getting enough sleep and nourishment.
If the biting occurs when two children are fighting over a toy telephone, you may want to purchase an extra toy telephone. It does not work to make very young children share. Toddlers don't have the skills to negotiate or understand another child's perspective.
If attention seems to be the main reason for biting, try to spend time with the child when she is doing more positive things. Snuggling up and reading a book together or rolling a ball back and forth is so much more fun than receiving a scolding.
If the child is experiencing a stressful family or care giving situation, you will want to make everyday life as supportive and normal as possible. Predictable meals and bedtimes and extra time with a loving adult can help. Often, experiences like rolling, squishing, and pounding play dough or relaxing and splashing in the bathtub are great ways to relieve tension. In painful situations like divorce, it takes time and patience for healing to occur.
TEACH NEW BEHAVIORS. When a child bites, show the biter with your voice and facial expression that biting is unacceptable. Speak firmly and look directly into the child's eyes. For example you might say, "No! Sara, it's not okay to bite. It hurts Jon when you bite him. He's crying. I won't let you bite Jon or another child." If the child is able to talk, you might also say, "You can tell Jon with your words that you need him to move instead of biting him. Say 'Move, Jon!'" You may also want the child to help wash, bandage, and comfort the victim. Making her a part of the comforting process is a good way to teach nurturing behavior. Whenever the child is out of control, you will need to restrain or isolate her until she calms down. Insist on a "time out" or "cooling off period." Wait a few minutes until things are under control, and then talk to the child about her behavior.
A FINAL NOTE Biting can be an uncomfortable issue for parents. Parents of a child who is bitten are often outraged and angry. Parents of the biter may feel embarrassed and frustrated. Sharing information about the causes of biting and your plans for controlling the situation can help parents to put things into perspective.
Writen by: Lesia Oesterreich, M.S. Family Life Extension Specialist Human Development and Family Studies Iowa State University