1. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station
is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work
station... GO FIGURE!
2. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it
Fed UP?
3. I believe five out of four people have trouble with
fractions.
4. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
5. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese
mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
6. Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's
office is full of portraits by Picasso.
7. STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
8. You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
9. Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that
everything will turn out OK.
10. No one ever says "It's only a game," when their
team is winning.
11. As I said before, I never repeat myself!
12. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didn't zigzag?
13. I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me
how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
14. Why don't they just make mouse-flavoured cat food?
15. Why do they sterilise needles for lethal
injections?
16. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because
they taste funny?
17. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to
have an "s" in it?
18. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that
why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak?
19. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's
supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it
going to be?
20. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians
throw hamburgers?
21. Why are they called buildings, when they're
already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?