| Title: Thoughts Running Through My Head Author: Ginger Ninja Summary: Obi-Wan's thoughts just before he gets the news he is about to leave the Temple Disclaimer:Characters aren't mine *sniff...sob* Property of Lucasfilms... Authors Note: Well, dig out your dusty old copies of JA1 and read through the first chapter (Where Bruck and Obi-Wan are fighting in front of Yoda) This fic is set right at the beginning of chapter 2 just before Docent Vant tells Obi-Wan he has to leave. When someone is being bullied, they sometimes Thoughtsrunningcome up with ways in their mind of how to fight this bully, how to put him in his place. They never do this for real of course because they don't have the confidence to do such a thing or because such an act is completely impossible. Victims are so desperate for a way to stop the bullying that all kinds of notions run through their minds. This short fic is Obi-Wan's darker musings of Bruck's demise. ***** I stumbled into my small room. I was dead tired and my entire body ached in a way it hadn't done in a very long time. I had burns up and down my body, a stinging reminder of what I had just done. That little Sith Bruck! How I hated him! He was purposefully going out of his way to make sure my life was the worst it could possibly be! I pulled a med kit out of my small desk and began bandaging my burns. Oh how I'd love to wipe that arrogant, smug smile of his ugly face by whipping him in a sparring match in front of everyone. That would show him once and for all that I'm not some clumsy oaf. I closed my eyes and a grin twitched on my lips. I went over the daydream that I had been perfecting for months- the Master's let us train with lightsabers at their highest power setting, the most deadly setting. "Senior students you are," Yoda would say. "Fight like this you can now." And we would start the match. It would be pretty even at first, neither of us clearly having the upper hand. Then I would launch into a fierce attack, one that caught Bruck completely unaware-he hadn't know I could battle like this. He would back away from me, barely able to defend himself. My lightsaber would be causing burns to rise all over his body where he missed a block or parry. Then he would stumble, and I would be standing over him. "Who's the clumsy one now?" I would ask, positioning my lightsaber over his heart. Bruck would be unable to speak-he's that terrified of me. He never thought he'd see this side of me, the powerful side, the side that wasn't afraid to use any means necessary to stop him from making my life a living misery. "Goodbye Bruck." And with one swift and graceful thrust, Bruck would be impaled on my lightsaber, his mouth wide open in a soundless scream. For a moment, everyone around me would be absolutely silent. The only sound was the humming of my lightsaber until I shut the blade down. They'd be completely shocked to see I had finally got rid of him, that I was finally free from his teasing, that I was no longer the victim. Then, a crescendo of cheering as everyone congratulated me on finally defeating Bruck. No one was sad to see him go. Even Master Yoda smiled at me. At this point of my daydream, I added a new spin. Qui-Gon Jinn himself would finally choose me as his Padawan. Bruck would have failed to stop that from happening. I sighed and opened my eyes. If only it was that simple. But of course, it wasn't. Such thoughts as these were wrong, very wrong in fact as they were of the Dark Side. Yet here I was thinking them without guilt. Well, not that much anyway... Knowing such an act would be impossible; I turned my thoughts another way. How could I impress Master Jinn? What could I do that would make him take me as his Padawan Learner. Slaying Bruck wouldn't be the way- /unfortunately/ whispered a voice in my mind- so I had to think of a slightly less drastic measure. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I *did* kill Bruck. The Agri-Corps would be out much to my relief. The Council would never send a killer to be a farmer. For just a moment as I sat there and stopped twisting a bandage round my arm. I was tempted to find out what would happen to me. I found myself standing up and walking towards my lightsaber that hung on my wall. /But if you do this, Master Jinn will *never* even think about taking you as his apprentice./ The thought was the only one that stopped me from hunting Bruck down. A little shaken that I had even considered doing such an act (even if I had been day dreaming about it for a very long time) I sat back down and went back to tending to my burns. I had to come up with some kind of plan to impress Master Jinn...I had to... There was a knock at my door and I called to whomever it was to enter. It was a female Docent by the name of Vant. I looked at her face. It was a strange expression I found there: a sort of sympathetic smile. She held out a data pad and I went over to her and took it. I read it. Then I read it again. And again. I had to leave for the Agri-Corps...tomorrow. The detailed report I held in my hands caused all of the hopes, dreams and evil deeds I had just been considering to come crashing down. I wasn't going to have a chance to do anything I planned. I was being kicked out. "Here now, it isn't that horrible," Docent Vant said. She was wrong. /Well Bruck, looks like you'll be safe after all and you'll get what you want. Congratulations, you just ruined my life./ And I numbly listen to the rest of what Docent Vant had to tell me. ***End*** |
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