Testoffaith6

PART SIX (CONCLUSION)

Obi-Wan clutched at his lungs and stomach, rolling onto his side as the upheaval around him and Xanatos' withdrawal of attention once more sent his body into a downward spiral. Released from the bonds that both restrained him and kept him alive, Obi-Wan could move, but he could barely breathe and felt his vital organs shutting down as his body died around him.

"Go!" he gasped at Qui-Gon, pushing away the Master's concerned hands. He could sense that there were only moments left before this place collapsed on itself and took everything and everyone here out of existence with it. Obi-Wan knew he was dying, but he didn't want Qui-Gon to perish as well.

"I will not leave you, Padawan," Qui-Gon said with fierce determination.

Obi-Wan smiled faintly at the word, but it wasn't real to him. It was a nice last gesture, but he couldn't believe, couldn't trust anymore.

Desperately, Qui-Gon tried to penetrate the wall that had come between them. "Let me in Obi-Wan, let me help you before it's too late!" he entreated when he realized that part of the block between them was that Obi-Wan was no longer open to him.

Obi-Wan himself hadn't realized that he wasn't, but now...

"You've got to trust me Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon said urgently as they felt the world going to pieces around them. Obi-Wan's body was failing fast.

"I-I don't know if I can," Obi-Wan stammered, as if shocked by the realization. Good knows he wanted to, but something in him just refused to open up. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I understand now." And he did. He did understand. He understood that Qui-Gon had not been intentionally shunning him, or resisting being able to trust him again, but sometimes it's simply not so easy. You couldn't necessarily do something like that just because you wanted to.

Obi-Wan started to slip away.

Qui-Gon realized that he could not force the boy to trust him anymore than he could force the boy to live. In order for Obi-Wan to survive, he would have to trust Qui-Gon enough to surrender control of his body to the other Jedi. Qui-Gon could not and would not take it by force like Xanatos had.

Xanatos had created a dependency in Obi-Wan, almost like a spice addiction, so that Obi-Wan could not command his own body, nor support it without Xanatos' constant control. To break that, Qui-Gon himself would have to take complete control of Obi-Wan's body for a few moments, but after the way he had been abused through such a hold, it was obviously not easy for Obi-Wan to give permission for anyone to take such power over him again, even to save his life. But if Obi-Wan could not, if he could not bring himself to trust Qui-Gon that deeply, he was going to die, and Qui-Gon couldn't stop him.

With a jolt, Qui-Gon realized his mistake. Why should Obi-Wan trust him that deeply? The abandonment issue aside, had he ever demonstrated that kind of trust to the Padawan? Even before Melida/Daan, even before he had any reason not to trust Obi-Wan, had he ever given him his unconditional trust? His unconditional love? How could he expect of Obi-Wan what he himself had never shown the boy?

Kneeling by Obi-Wan as all hell broke loose around them, Qui-Gon took the choking boy's hand and for the first time in years he opened his heart completely. He opened himself entirely to Obi-Wan, holding nothing back.

Obi-Wan's eyes went wide, even as his lungs continued to spasm painfully. Qui-Gon had removed all shielding, leaving himself wide open and completely vulnerable. It was the deepest kind of trust he was showing. Qui-Gon was entrusting Obi-Wan with more than his life; he was entrusting him with his heart and his soul.

Unable to refuse such pure, unadulterated faith, Obi-Wan responded in kind and Qui-Gon quickly eased his way in. Feeding Obi-Wan strength, he took over the support that Xanatos had discontinued and then quickly returned control of Obi-Wan's body to him.

"Come," Qui-Gon said hoarsely, rising to his feet and pulling Obi-Wan with him. Half carrying, half dragging the youth, Qui-Gon made his way swiftly to the Telos portal not far away.

As they reached the door he saw the Therdaks disappearing happily through the gateway to their own world and dimension. In his desperation to save Obi-Wan's life, he had forgotten about them. Them and... Xanatos.

Qui-Gon looked around and saw Xanatos slumped on the ground several dozen meters away. Everything in Qui-Gon screamed for him to just get the heck out of there and leave Xanatos to the fate he more than richly deserved. After all, he had Obi-Wan to think about...

Stepping through the portal, Qui-Gon lay Obi-Wan down on the floor of the crumbling mansion. "Listen to me Obi-Wan," he said quickly. "I want you as my Padawan again, if you will have me. Whatever happens, I want you to know that. But there is something I must do first." Qui-Gon wanted Obi-Wan to know that he was wanted, just in case... in case Qui-Gon never came back.

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, he understood.

Rising quickly, Qui-Gon plunged back through the portal without hesitation.

Xanatos was struggling to his feet when Qui-Gon reappeared. Huge cracks had opened in ground and the floor was listing sharply. Qui-Gon had to hang onto the frame of the portal to keep from slipping.

"Xanatos!" he called out and the younger man looked up, a wild light in his eyes. "Hurry!" Qui-Gon called, holding out his hand. "There isn't much time."

Xanatos just stared at him for a moment, but did not stir. "You are wrong once more Qui-Gon," he said with an unreadable look on his cold face. "There's no time. It's too late." Xanatos just stood there, making no move towards the safety that Qui-Gon was offering him.

With a tremendous rumble the strange dimension collapsed, pancaking and imploding inward like a black hole.

Qui-Gon only just made it out the portal in time, half blown out by the explosion. Knocked flat, Qui-Gon rolled over a few times. Leaning up on his elbow, he saw the mirror-like portal shatter and vanish as the realm it led to disappeared. Taking Xanatos with it.

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's hand on his arm. Qui-Gon was glad to see that the boy was already looking stronger and beginning to recover. Obi-Wan bounced back incredibly well.

For his part, Obi-Wan was very relieved; he had been quite worried about Qui-Gon when he went back through the portal, although he understood that it was somehow very important to Qui-Gon to do so.

"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said softly, but his eyes spoke more than his words. "I understand," they said. "I tried to save Bruck too..."

"He - he didn't want to be saved, Master," Obi-Wan tested the word out almost hesitantly.

Qui-Gon nodded slowly, rising to a sitting position. "I know," he agreed softly. "But I had to try, Padawan," he infused so much warmth and trust into that one word that Obi-Wan didn't think he could stand it.

Tears clouded the boy's eyes. He could take Qui-Gon's rejection; he had done so before, he knew how to bear the Master's silence and emotional withdrawal, but Obi-Wan was at a loss for how to deal with this sudden show of care.

*"Stupid time to cry, now!"* Obi-Wan berated himself, trying desperately to hold back the emotions that were churning inside him. He had wanted Qui-Gon so badly, wanted him as a teacher, wanted him as the father figure that he had never had, but his young heart craved. Yet somehow, he didn't think it could ever happen. Somewhere along the way he had lost the hope that Qui-Gon would ever care for him. It had happened long before Melida/Daan he realized, that was just the way it had culminated.

Qui-Gon saw the boy's desperate struggle to be "brave", and not let the Master see what he was feeling. Normally, he would probably have stepped back and let the boy compose himself, but somehow, he didn't feel that that was what Obi-Wan needed right now. "Don't lock your emotions away Padawan. It is not weakness to feel," he said softly.

It was all the push Obi-Wan needed and at last, the tears came.

Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan into his arms gently and let the boy rest his head against the big Jedi's breast.

There was much they needed to talk about. Much that needed to be said, much that needed to be healed between them, and Qui-Gon was not going to let it be put off any longer. Obi-Wan had to be a priority to him, he realized. But it could wait a few more minutes. As far as Qui-Gon was concerned, the whole galaxy could wait for as long as was needed, for as long as Obi-Wan needed.

Obi-Wan burrowed into Qui-Gon's tunic and just stayed there. He didn't care if it was stupid and childish; he was so weary and so relieved. It was like the bottle that he had been shoving everything into for so long had finally burst, freeing him.

Free of the dimension that had banished his injuries, Obi-Wan could feel them creeping up on him again, but they were no longer life threatening and he didn't want to worry about that right now. He didn't want to worry about anything right now.

Qui-Gon found himself stroking Obi-Wan's soft, short hair almost without meaning to, but Obi-Wan made no objection, so he did not stop. He and the boy had certainly had a rocky road so far, but sitting here like this, Qui-Gon knew that Tahl was right, and that sometimes what was broken could be reformed into something even stronger and more beautiful.

Qui-Gon knew he was not especially gifted in foresight like some, but he could foresee a quite a future for he and his Padawan, together.

THE END