| Title: Moonlight Shadow Author: Ginger Ninja Rating: G Summary: Late one night, Qui-Gon is given the closure he needs. **Companion to As If He Was Sleeping ***** I still couldn't sleep. It had been a week now since I had watched the body of my apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi go up in flames. His ashes still rested in an urn beside my bed. His devastated parents had told me that I should be the one to take care of them as I had been with him for far longer than they had. I had yet to decide what to do with them. I couldn't think of a suitable place. But that was probably because I expected the young man to come strolling into the apartment at any moment with that smile he always wore and ask for something to eat. Like he had the morning he had died. *~* Obi-Wan came out of his room, sleepy eyed and a head full of bed hair. He yawned and Qui-Gon managed to catch a "Morning Master". "Good morning Padawan!" Qui-Gon said brightly, clearly showing that he was a morning person, unlike Obi-Wan. "Breakfast?" "Huh? Mmm...yeah, breakfast...yes please Master." Qui-Gon nodded and went to the kitchen while Obi-Wan sat down on his favourite chair. He curled his legs under him and waited for his mind to wake up a little more. "I've got to go out this morning Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said as he returned from the kitchen with a tray. "It's Mace's birthday coming up and...well we want to make it a birthday he'll never forget." Obi-Wan grinned. "What will it be this time? A surprise party that will give him a heart attack as he enters his dotage?" "Exactly," Qui-Gon said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Obi-Wan laughed with his Master for a while then tucked into his breakfast. "I think I'll just go into Coruscant for the morning then," Obi-Wan announced a little while later. "Garen told me about this new arcade with some of the latest games. I want to try them out." Qui-Gon nodded in agreement. Obi-Wan could use some time to relax and this was the perfect opportunity. There were no outstanding pieces of homework he had to get done and it wouldn't be fair on the boy to make him stay at home all morning alone. Later that morning the pair went their separate ways. Qui-Gon shuddered, as if caught in an icy breeze. Frowning, he gazed over his shoulder just as Obi-Wan disappeared round a corner. For a moment, Qui-Gon was struck by a sudden heaviness in his chest but it passed within the space of a heartbeat. Frowning to himself, Qui-Gon headed to Yoda's quarters. A niggling feeling in the back of his mind remained for a while but it too passed, leaving Qui-Gon wondering what it had all been about.*~* I sat on the edge of my bed, moonlight filtering through the curtains and dimly lighting the room around me. All I could think was why. Why hadn't I listened to my feelings? Something had been trying to warn me that morning but I hadn't acted upon it. I hadn't gone and meditated on my feelings or even thought of them twice. If only I had...if only I had stopped to think for just a minute, I would have been able to save him. *~*It was late afternoon when it happened. A sudden scream tore through his mind and a small explosion seemed to go off, leaving his vision dark for a moment. Something in his head seemed to snap. "Qui-Gon? Hear me can you?" Qui-Gon blinked and met the wide and concerned eyes of Yoda. A heavy feeling of dread was wedged into his heart and Qui-Gon found himself breathing heavily, as if had just run a marathon. "What happened? Alright are you?" Yoda asked as Qui-Gon sat up. Qui-Gon took a moment to calm himself. "I...I don't know. Something's happened. Something terrible. Obi-Wan...Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon was instantly on his feet. "I have to find him, now! Something awful has happened.." Qui-Gon didn't mention the severed bond in his mind. He was... ...Afraid of what such a terrible thing could mean... Qui-Gon had run out of Yoda's tiny home before anyone could even ask what had happened. Twenty minutes later of fruitless searching on Qui-Gon's frantic part, his com-link had bleeped. "Qui-Gon," Mace's voice sounded uncharacteristically shaky. "You have to come to the infirmary right away. It's Obi-Wan..." The hand in which Qui-Gon clutched his com-link trembled. "No..." he whispered. *~* Tears blurred the moonlit room for a moment. From that moment, my life had ceased to be as it was when Obi-Wan had stood at my side. A hollow, unfathomable emptiness had filled my soul. "But Master, it needn't be empty forever." I blinked hard and turned to the window. A small, ethereal figure stood there. He gazed at me serenely. A small cry came from my mouth. He smiled at me but his eyes remained sad. He glided over to me with the grace of a gentle gust of wind. "Master," he said, his voice echoing as if we were in a cavernous hall. I couldn't say his name. It was as if my mouth forgot how to form the letters that made up his name. I shook my head and tears splashed down my face. I reached out for him but my hand fell through his pale blue figure. "No Master," he whispered sadly. "I'm not back. I can't come back. You know that. It's just like you and all the Masters taught me. There truly is no death, there is the Force." "But I want you here with me again, like it used to be," I said. He bent down on his knees in front of me. "But I had to go Master." "No," I wept. "No you didn't. You were never supposed to go. Never." He laughed a little. "Master I know you think I'm capable of some amazing feats but cheating death is not one of them." "But what do I do without you?" "You go on living Master." "No..." I shook my head, the buried my face in my hands. My shoulders heaved as I sobbed. "I can't...do that..." "You can and you will Master," he said firmly, almost angrily. He stood back up and bent over me. "You will do it because if you don't you will become the man you were after Xanatos and everything we did together would become meaningless because you will use it as an excuse to keep others away." My head jerked up in shock. "Don't say that! Please don't do this to me! I need more time!" "Hush Master, I know. I know it's too soon but you must allow people in Master. Only then can you begin to heal. Don't isolate yourself." "Please...don't say anything...I'm not ready..." "But you have to move on." He was not going to be deterred. "For now mourn but you must not lose your touch with the galaxy and the people out there who you are meant to help. You must never be alone again Master." "I am alone," I said forlornly, gazing into the shimmering eyes. "Very alone now that you've di...gone." "But you needn't be Master." "I can't feel you anymore," I admitted, still not looking him in the eye. "Master..." "You're no more substantial than a breath of air. Where did you go little one?" "Master..." "Why is it that when I look at you I no longer believe that you are truly there?" "Master, feel the Force Master. Embrace it and I will be there." "I can't..." "You can and will Master. I'm part of the Force now. That's where all the Jedi go remember?" Gingerly, I reached out to the Force. I felt it flush through me in a way it hadn't done in days and I looked straight at him. He was glowing. A golden light encircled him. He smiled at me. His eyes danced with joy. "Master," he said, his voice full of delight. My eyes became wide as his glow blazed like a sun. "Obi-Wan," I whispered, fresh tears springing readily to my eyes. Slowly they began to fall. "Do you remember what you told me when you took me as your apprentice?" he asked, moving so he was sitting on the bed beside me. I nodded. "When the apprentice teaches the Master, the partnership is right." "Exactly," he said. "When the apprentice teaches the Master, the partnership is right," he repeated with a grin. "I'm teaching you now, you are *never* alone if you feel the Force. Because that's where I'll be forever. When you need me, reach out to the Force and I will assist you, just like I always did." He paused a moment before saying: "Do you promise to remember that?" I nodded. "I just need some time first." He pointed at the urn. "Letting go of those is all the time you need. I know you will choose wisely." "I will find the perfect place for you," I assured him. Obi-Wan nodded as he stood up and silently he moved back to the window. His glow receded to a pale blue glow. "Sleep Master. The pain will ease." I lay down and watched him even though I could barely keep my eyes open. "I love you Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan smiled as he began to fade away into the moonlight. "I know. I love you too Master." And I drifted into the first proper sleep I had had since this had begun. A sense of peace began to mingle with the intense sorrow. And Obi-Wan watched over his Master, who was faintly smiling despite the tears on his face, as he slept until the sun began to replace the moonlight. ***The End*** |
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