Nervous: I am nervous because I don't know yet exactly what is going to be done to me for surgery. I know the surgical procedure, I just don't know if the doctor requires certain things! I know most people have a g-tube for two weeks after surgery. I think this is a tube that allows you to be fed through your stomach in case of an emergency. The biggest tube that I was worried about is the breathing one. I didn't know if you woke up with one still down your throat/nose. But, from what people have told me, you don't I have a high threshold for pain, but I hate experiencing pain when it is actually happening. In other words, I'd be more worried about having the tube pulled out than having the tube..does that make any sense? I hope so!
Anxious: I am anxious because I want to do more! I want to have surgery tomorrow! Ok, maybe not tomorrow, but I want to speed up the process! I want to meet with the doctor, have the insurance approve me, and get all the reassurance I need in one day! I want everything to happen today! I think I have enough exclamation points in this paragraph!!! See, it's my anxiety shining through!!!
On tomorrow's episode...the world of excited/scared....tune in, same time, same place!
Excited: Gee, why am I excited??? I KNOW!!! I think it's because I am embarking on a journey to change my life. Maybe? I'm thinking! I have a chance to live a healthy life. A life free of back pain, leg pain, shortness of breath... I'm going to go to a life free of these problems, a healthy life, where I can swim, jog, hike, walk, just breathe...without thinking about it! I want "light on her feet" to not just apply to the good mood I'm in. I don't want to be a skinny-minnie, I just want to be at a good weight so I can lead a normal lifestyle! I want to walk up 15 steps without breathing hard. I want to walk up a hill without aching all over.
Scared: There are many reasons why I am scared. Well, the obvious one being that I am going to have surgery. Ok, I plan on having surgery. I could die. Plain and simple. I could never see my family again, never laugh here on earth, never watch another sunset. BUT there is a less than 1 % chance of that happening. And the percentage of me dying from the extra weight I carry around everyday is much greater! I'd rather die fighting for my life than destroying my life. Ok, enough morbid stuff. I am in good health, besides the weight, and most people who die from this surgery have past health problems that lead to their death. Another reason I'm scared is because I am changing my life. I have to change my eating habits for one. One of the reasons I chose Dr. Marema is because he has a strict diet plan and follow up care is excellent. He has a high rate of success because of this. Also, he had the surgery himself, so he knows what you go through! I worry though, this isn't a 100% surgery. I mean, it is not 100% successful. Nothing in life is, but I wish it were! I have to take control and be a success story! DO NOT FORGET...SURGERY IS A TOOL FOR WEIGHT LOSS, NOT A CURE-ALL. You have to change too. I am determined to change!
