| Back Page Feature Of Joy: Let Us Welcome Madam Leaflet! |
| Ask A Venus Flytrap |
| Dear Madam Leaflet, I�m a single parent living in a one-room apartment with my three children, one of whom has diabetes and requires a lot of care and money. My question is, how do I go about raising money to better my family�s condition while at the same time having enough time to care for my diabetic son? �Poor in Pennsylvania Dear Poor, Spread your leaves and wait for your prey to touch down like the unsuspecting twit it is. Then, secrete a very sticky jelly so that you can get them nice and helpless. Once they�re trapped, you can begin the process of slowly closing your jaws/leaves and watching them quiver with fear as they prepare for the encroaching death. Ohh, it�s quite a rush. Dear Madam Leaflet, My girl and I have been dating for two years now, and we know each other pretty well and we have this trust thing pretty down pat. My problem is, I�m not sure if it�s time to take the next step. I mean, we can�t do this much longer without getting really serious, right? What�s your opinion?�Flummoxed in Fargo Dear Flummoxed, Gnats and mosquitoes are mere snacks�they�ll never be enough to satisfy you for a whole day, even if you get a fully loaded mosquito. Bees are also a bad idea, for obvious reasons. However flies are a definite plus, especially horseflies. There is nothing in the world more satisfying than eating a horsefly. Remember that. |
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| The wise and all knowing Madam Leaflet |
| STAFF Master Justin--Editor in Chief Baron Vince--Managing Editor Baron Ziegfeld--Copy Editor Ludwig--Editor Editor Kou Cao--Very Special Editor The Experts--Gatherers of Knowledge Wayne Shanks--Is neither real nor sane Madam Leaflet--Writes her award winning column "Ask A Venus Flytrap" for newspapers across the country. |
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| "Not this again." |
| As you can clearly see, this photo's quality was severely compromised. I wonder who could possibly have done such a heinous act, and do they have any connection to papal tyranny of the pre-Protestant Revolution era? Shall it forever be a mystery? Only time will tell. |