I got up around 7:30, debated "getting dressed" for about 10 minutes and then threw on a hooded sweatshirt and track pants and headed out the door for work at 8AM. As Craig said last night "You're a workaholic who hates not working." Not that I really did any work. I grabbed a newspaper and did my imfamous "Wonderword" word search and harassed Wayne, who said he's not ready for another semester of Meg at 8AM.
I went to Law & Ethics at 9AM and proceeded to bang my head against the desk and shake Jim saying "I can't do this anymore! I need to graduate NOW!" It's amazing how senioritis flares up even worse when you're in a classroom. Just the fact that I was in a classroom this morning blows my mind.
I think the real reason I'm not ready for this semester is because I was just settling into a routine over break. I worked during the day, went out every Monday with Tracey...and pretty much the rest of the week too. I had a life,, I had a job, I had two bars where the bartenders knew me by name and I had fun! And now it's back to the grind, although it's not really much of a grind. Not yet anyway. I'm probably the only person who comes back to college to sober up. Part of me is debating driving home tonight to go out with Tracey tonight, but I've got 5 hours of work tomorrow morning and I know I probably shouldn't.
Sigh...
This break was also rather theraputic. I worked at Yankee Candle and absolutely loved it. My two bosses were so incredibly nice and so appreciative. They would thank me for taking out the trash, which was part of my job. It was a totatally new experience for me working with people who made feel like I mattered. My one boss told me if she could have a Meg for every shift, she would be the happiest manager. I always knew that some aspects of Parkside were a little questionable, but it wasn't until I got another job that I realized how out of whack it really was. Don't get me wrong, I loved Parkside, but things go so weird and so shitty in the end that it was best that I left. I miss the people, the customers and the alcohol nights, but I really liked how I was treated at Yankee. So yes, change was very good in this case.
But now it's back to the 'Burg and back to my 10 hour a week job. I'm thinking about looking for another one, but I also think that maybe I should save my energy since this summer I will probably be working and interning, which could tax my sanity real quick. In fact, I know it can.
I'm really not sure where to go from here. There's a lot to say, a lot that's been on my mind, but I feel like I need seperate entries to sort through all of them. Of course, a lot of these things are unresolved at this point, so discussing them at length would be rather futile at this point. A lot of things seem futile.
I'm sort of streseed right now. Actually, that's not right. It's more like pre-stress. I know that I'm going have a lot of things coming at me over the next semester and some of them are big, like the aforementioned internship this summer. I really really want to do it at QVC, but if they don't have oppenings, then I'm pretty much screwed. Also, this whole post graduation job thing. While I love Yankee Candle, I don't really see that becoming a career. Let's face it, a movie about candles wouldn't be that interesting.
So part of my negative feels about this semester could very well stem from my uncertainity about it. I like to have a game plan. I like to know what's going to happen and when, and some very large parts of my life and my future are totally up in the air.
I hate that.
Perhaps some Simpsons will take my mind off all this....