I didn't arrive at my conclusion all by myself, though. Yesterday afternoon all of the roommates were home (Snow Day!) and we were happily decorating the apartment for Christmas and I surprised everyone, including myself, by donning a Santa had and putting ornaments on Pete the Plant. "I actually have some Christmas spirit this year" I commented, and Aimee said "Well, you had some last year and you were all happy and shopping and everything...and then week later you were all depressed and returning." Right...the whole Dieter thing. And I got to thinking and nothing really came of it since one break up a year ago wouldn't have caused Christmas hated five years BEFORE it happened.
So back to this morning and my tea.
While I was walking back over to the lab and enjoying and avoiding the snow and randomly thinking about what Aimee had said, and it suddenly occured to me that about four years ago around this time I had the shittest break up of all times and things between me and the boy were at their absolute worst...yes, you guessed it...at Christmas time.
I never really thought that stupid things that happened years ago could actually play some sort of role in this whole Christmas thing, but as soon as I made that connected, I HAD to share it with someone...and the only someone to share it with was Matty.
For anyone who has seen the Danger Kitty movie, Matty was the drugged out rock star in that movie, and for those of you who haven't seen the movie, his character is similar to him minus the rock star thing. I went shuffling down the hall back to the Fishbowl and took one look at Matty who had been laughing hysterically (like bad people do in movies before they kill people) before I left and who had also been awake for 34 hours straight at that point and plopped down next to him and started explaining my whole revalation to him. He stared at me, blankly for a moment and said
"Yeah, that could really fuck a person up. It's a wonder you're not more screwed up."
Who needs an old wise sage when you have a strung out, drunken, half-asleep, pissed off Matty.
Now, I would like to point out that break-ups and bad situations are not entirely to blame for my strong strong strong dislike for the season. The following were the foundation for the hatred.
1) Moving to PA and losing all of my favorite Christmas traditions
2) Taking "How the Grinch Stole Xmas" and putting it on TNT
3) Getting rid of the plastic Christmas tree I grew up with
4) Too much holiday hype
5) Relatives visiting
Okay, so there are probably more in there, but those are the five main reasons that I don't like Christmas and now on top of all that, I have men to blame too. Woohoo.
But don't worry about me this year. I've actually had some Christmas spirit since late October from when I did my Schweddy Balls TV Final and got to decorate my set with Christmas stuff. Just two weeks ago I was at home downloading Christmas music and singing Dominic the Donkey. The day after Thanksgiving I was at work and they were playing all Christmas music all day and I actually turned the music UP! I even downloaded free holiday ringtones to my cell phone and now whenver you call me, my phone plays Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel. (okay, so it's not MY holiday, but it is still A holiday)
I'm making progress, folks.
Although, the one thing that I really want to do is go home to Baldwin and see all of the decorations because no one in PA has comes close to the elaborate set-ups on Long Island.
Road trip anyone?