| Interviewer: Hello Megan. Can I call you Megan? Megan: Are you with the FBI? Then yes you can call me Megan but I prefer Bob. Interviewer: Ok, Megan. So how are you today? Megan: Why, am I dying? Why do you keep asking so many questions? Did Christy send you? Interviewer: Excuse me? Megan: Sorry I tend to get overly emotional due to my disgruntled childhood and dysfunctional upbringing. Interviewer: I see So would you tell us a few things about yourself? Megan: Are you recording this interview? I have a few warrants out for my arrest and I would like to keep my identity secret. Well we all know what happened to MJ (Michael Jackson) after his interview, is that going to happen to me? Well,I don't share my bed with little boys except for Homer...does he count? Homer is my dog...I like dogs...hotdogs...except for those hairless dogs, those giant rats are creep me out. Interviewer: uh huh, uh huh. Interesting. Megan: Are you mocking me? I AM NOT A DRUNK!!! Got any beer? Interviewer: Very good. I bet our readers never knew that about you. So now the next question: What would your dream job be? Megan: Well ever since I can remember I have always wanted to be a bag girl at Stater Bros supermarket. Interviewer: Ha-ha, you're so funny. Megan: Umm...that wasn't a joke. ***sheds a tear***, not all of us can go on to be rocket scientists. Interviewer: Oh, you were serious about the job. *coughs* Next question. What's it like with Murr living in your head? Megan: Why does he always get all of the attention? Glory hog!!!! Its like no one has ever had a little man live inside his or her head before. Interviewer: I think that is something I would have preferred not to have known. Megan: At least you don't have to live with him. Murr acts like he owns the place. Always telling me what I can and cannot do. Who does he think he is? My conscience, wait a second...that would explain a lot...a whole lot. Interviewer: Eh...are you coming on to me? Megan: No, seriously that was Murr talking not me. Couldn't you tell the difference between the both of us? I swear I am not gay. Why does everyone think I am gay? Just because I never wear girly clothes, get my nails done, or like boys doesn't make me gay. Interviewer: I take offense to that! Megan: Maybe you are gay but what am I? I'm rubber you're glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Fiddle de dee, fiddle de dum I smell the blood of an English muffin. Are you cooking English muffins? Can I have one please? I am hungry. Interviewer: Let's get back on track please, shall we? Give us a few comments about Christy, if you would. Megan: HA, you would like that wouldn't you? She is my best friend,the original devil spawn. Probably the only person crazier than myself, Christy this, Christy that well you aren't getting me to talk! NO TERRA NO! Interviewer: I'm getting a replacement for that interview. Megan: What's that supposed to mean? People love me...I love me...don't make me shake my fist at you, because I will. ***Shakes fist violently*** Interviewer: That's it. This interview is over! |
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