Hey guys...it is me! How are things? I am actually in LA for a month. I cannot believe i get to sleep in my own bed, eat my own food and drive my own car. I am in rehearsals for the upcoming events i have happening so i am still working but at least i get to come home at night. I AM HAPPY!!!

Speaking of happy, i was so moved by all of your prayers and encouragements for Apryle. Apryle if you or your family read this isn't it amazing to know you have so many people who love you and pray for you...what a community of friends you all have become...i feel like a proud parent!!! I have to say i laughed loudly at the doritos ongoing story and found it very entertaining. Thanks for getting Nick and I back on TRL...keep on voting! We both really appreciate it!! And request the heck out of it at radio...just annoy them until they play it like crazy...haha!!! I hope you guys like Fanatic...LaToya was the cutest girl ever...she was such a doll! I know many of you wanted to be chosen and you would have been just as great as she was...maybe there will be a next time!

Tomorrow morning i am shooting the cover of Teen to be on stands in june...i am filming a disney special which will air sometime in june. Also, i am doing the disney grad nights coming up in Orlando at DisneyWorld for graduating seniors...that will be alot of fun. I have a few radio shows coming up as well so maybe i will be in your area...i hope so!

Thank you guys for supporting me and loving me the way you do. I would not be where i am today if it wasn't for all of your prayers, love and belief in me. Over and over again i say this but it is true...I am so blessed! If it were to all end tomorrow, i would feel fulfilled and i would know that i was loved...thank you all! GOD is good, all the time...All the time, GOD is good!!!

Much love and sweet kisses....Jessica XOXO

Jessica's 17th entry (3/23/00)

HEY GUYS!!! How has everyone been??? I am in New York where i am about to wind up the premiere tour where we have been to 10 cities and performed Where You Are before the showing of the movie Here On Earth. It has been so much fun!!! The crowds have been so great and everyone has been so supportive of Nick and I and our song. I have loved every minute of being on the road with Nick! We have been able to hang out, watch movies (when we are not exhausted), and just be together!!

I hope you all enjoyed the TRL performance yesterday...don't you just love Nick in leather pants!!! I am so happy with everything right now...thanks again to all of you who have loved and supported me and my career! It means EVERYTHING to me!!! I have been spending alot of time in Europe so it has been harder for me to communicate with you guys. Europe is awesome and we are heading out again on Monday for the UK, Spain and France. Traveling overseas is alot of fun but very tiring because of the time difference and also the food is soooo different but i am adjusting! I hope everyone picked up the Seventeen mag, Jump, and Glamour. I have also been told I am in a few others along with Nick. I am still not used to walking through the airport and seeing myself on the cover of a magazine...it is a strange feeling!

It is so amazing to me to read the MB and see how much of a community you all have become. The way you all are always there for each other and encourage and love through your responses is AWESOME!!!! Please know that even though i cannot personally communicate with each of you i feel like i know you just by your messages. You still continue to inspire me....THANKS!!! I will write more later and sooner.

Sweet Kisses to All, Jessica

Jessica's 16th entry (2/22/00)

HELLO FROM TOKYO, JAPAN... It is so beautiful over here and i cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful, sweet, kind, considerate and caring the fans are. They have absolutely amazed me!!! I was presented with my gold album here in Japan and it is a huge honor to be recognized by the beautiful people of Japan. They are all about the voice which i love. They respect vocalist and they do not get all caught up in the hype that we Americans do about image, etc. They respect your art and the way you present it! I am overwhelmed by their respect, love and support. One of the fans, which was a businessman about 35 years old, stood in a long line to bring me a ring that he had received when he was in the hospital very ill. His friend had brought him the ring and my CD during his hospital stay and he wanted me to have the ring because he said my CD had "HEALED" him. I was of course moved to tears (sappy ole me) and stood up to give him a hug and the whole line of about 500 people started giggling and applauding...it was sooo cute!

The young girls are so adorable...they dress so cute! They all wear really short skirts and some of the biggest platforms i have ever seen...i love platforms as you probably know so i am definetely checking out their style!!! The children are so beautiful, like porcelain dolls! I am eating alot of McDonald's...love those hamburgers and fries! The other night we had a traditional Japanese meal where we took off our shoes and sat on the floor...it was alot of fun!!! I miss the states but i have been very moved by this beautiful country and its beautiful people.

Thank you for embracing me Japan...i hope to make you proud. It is really strange because i am actually bigger in Japan than i am in the US at this moment. I think the most humbling thing is knowing that people from a totally different culture love my music, and they get it!!! What more can i say...i am BLESSED!

So how is everyone on the MB? I haven't really been reading it alot lately because some of the things have been so negative and i really do not need that negative vibe in my life so i scroll through and find the positive things and i feel encouraged. I love the threads of how my music has inspired or encouraged you, how "where you are" has helped you through painful times of losing someone, i love to read about your lives and lack of prom dates or boyfriend/girlfriend stories, your thoughts on BSB, Rudy's love of Ashlee, Valentine's stories, encouragement of my family members, auditions you did or did not make, how you want to pursue your singing careers, and cute, funny, inspirational stories and thoughts..this helps me to know who my fans really are. When i started this journey of my career, i vowed to be honest and straighforward with my fans, my record label, my publicist, my parents, my management and most importantly God. I try very hard to keep that vow but i do not want to regret having been so honest with my fans that they take advantage of it! I have shared my life with you honestly and openly and it saddens me to think that just a few of you take advantage of my honesty. All i ask is that you Respect me the way i have Respected you...with integrity!

I love all of my fans and i think you guys are the most amazing people out there. I want to be there for you as much as i need you to be there for me...thanks for loving me and accepting me for who i am! I was so psyched when we were #6 on TRL on Friday...you guys did that!!! Thank you so much....It is also on 98 Degrees page to vote for our song so let's get the forces together and VOTE, VOTE, VOTE. Even my 78 year old grandmother is voting...how cute is that!!!! I really love all of you and i appreciate everything you do for me. My music is my way of giving back to you...i hope and pray that it touches your heart and makes your day brighter!!!

Hugs to all, Jessica

Jessica's 15th entry (2/15/00)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!! I love, love, love valentine's day especially when you have a sweethearts like all of you to share it with. Not to mention my one true sweetie as well. Tonight is Making of the Video...i hope all of you like the video! I am really excited and nervous about it! Nick is actually here with me and he says happy valentine's day to everyone!

I wanted to catch everyone up on the latest...i am getting ready to leave for Japan in a couple of days...i am so excited about going to Japan. I have always wanted to go there. I am sure i will be sick of rice by the time i return to the states because you know me and my picky eating habits but i am looking forward to meeting the new fans and experiencing the different culture.

I have to apologize to all of you because in the past week i have not been able to read the MB but once. I have been so incredibly busy it is exhausting to think about. By the time night rolls around, i fall into bed and crash!! So, i need a little "filling in" on all the latest conversations...i know there was a few words on my comment to Born To Love Again...i want everyone to know i never, ever would think of myself as better than another person because of something i choose and they do not...it is my personal choice just as each of you has to make personal choices based on what is going on in your life! Another person was talking about christian music verses pop music, well i have already been down that road and i feel i have a much more effective place in the pop world than i ever did in the christian music market. I have not changed my values and morals, as a matter of fact, they have become stronger! I think it is really sad when the people that usually say these things are the christians who claim to be "NON-JUDGEMENTAL" yet they are the biggest judges and this is why christianity gets such a bad name. The bible says "the way we judge others is the way God will judge us"...makes you think, huh? i believe if we put out good thoughts and vibes, it will return to you!

Now, about Nick...thanks for all the Valentine's and well wishers...i am sure there are some of you out there who think yuk!!!! But we took that chance when we let the world know we were dating...i believe in honesty and i appreciate all of you who have been there for us!

Okay...on to the good stuff...this past weekend we were in San Francisco doing the NBA Allstar show and Nick and I performed "Where You Are" at the Cow Palace which was alot of fun...anytime i sing with Nick it is fun! And we were honored to get to meet six of the most amazing fans/friends/fellow messageboarders...Rudy, of course he drove the exhausting 7 hours, Katie, Lana, Kristen, Elisa, Jamie, who happens to have an awesome last name, and Katie's mom...they brought me a scapbook full of beautiful letters and pictures from so many of you....i absolutely loved getting to meet all of them. Each one was so wonderful, sweet, fun and i feel so blessed to have such amazing, beautiful people as my friends. I have read the letters over and over, and i want to thank all of you who wrote. You all inspire me so much it makes me cry...i feel like the luckiest person around to have friends like all of you. Words cannot even begin to express how i am feeling...the way you encourage me is overwhelming. To know so many of you are praying for me and "cheering me on" is so, so moving...thank you from the depths of my soul. The connection of God's love between all of us is never, ever to be taken for granted...thank you! To Rudy and the gang, thanks so much for making such an effort and putting together such a great gift...your friendship means the world to me! It was also cool to put faces with names, hopefully i will get to meet more of you in the future!

I will be chatting with all of you more. Tonight there is a chat if you want to catch it...keep up the good work!

Love and Hugs to All, Jessica

Jessica's 14th entry (2/3/00)

If I could find a way to write to Born2LoveAgain personally I would, but since everyone knows I post on my diary this is for all to share...

I am sitting here in tears as I read the post from Amanda. You are the reason I do what I do...to have a tiny little part in bringing you back to God and helping you to find true inner beauty and peace is all I ever need.

It is better than a #1 album, a Grammy or any other award that this world could give me. You have touched me so deeply by sharing so honestly...thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. I know God is going to use you in a mighty way...be strong and keep believing!

I believe in you...much love,
Jessica

Jessica's 13th entry (2/1/00)

It is really amazing to see the world and realize how differently we all live...it is really cool! We flew from Canada to Amsterdam which took forever and landed at like 7:30 in the morning and then went straight to the hotel to sleep...we got up around 4:00pm and headed out to see the city...it is like you are in a dream here...everything is so different! I feel like I am in a movie...speaking of movies, we went to see Sixth Sense and the movies are like months behind the states but what a great movie Sixth Sense is...i love it! Speaking of Sixth Sense, you must watch my video on Feb 14th premiering on making the video on MTV...hint, hint.

We went on a canal ride which was cool looking at all the old buildings which were built in the 1600's, then we went to Anne Frank's house which I really enjoyed because The Diary of Anne Frank, which was one of the books I read in school. I could not imagine staying in that room for 3 years the way she did, hiding from the Nazi's...we have so much to be thankful for...don't take it for granted! I have to remind myself all the time to have a thankful heart no matter what the situation!! Today I had a taping for MTV Amsterdam, a photo shoot and six interviews then we are driving to Germany so that is where I will be by the time you read this. So let me fill you in on all the other things that have happened since I last talked to you guys...I made a video...Where You Are...with Nick.

Leelee Sobieski and Chris Klein who are the stars in the movie that the song is going to be on "Here On Earth", were also in the video...they were really cool and Leelee is very beautiful and Chris is a cutie! Making videos is a lot of hard work but also a lot of fun...Nick and I have some really great scenes together which I LOVED doing...I am not giving away secrets...you have to watch and then request the heck out of it!!!! Of course I know you guys will...you are the best! The shoot took two days and then the next morning after the video we went to Big Bear and hosted MTV Snowed In...Nick and I host the battle of videos/boys against girls/ and I can't tell you who wins but watch...Feb 5...we also got to perform "Where You Are" with a great crowd of fans...thanks for all of your support! Snowmobiling was the funniest!!! I am tired and randomly talking...can you tell? The next day was a photo shoot for Seventeen, Nick and I will be on the cover for April...Nick was a little upset because I encouraged him to get his hair cut and they really cut it short and he was not too happy but i think he looks cute because he always looks cute...okay I am being mushy so I will stop...I don't want to make you sick!!! HEHE!!! Did i mention Nick is cute...HAHAHA!!!

Okay, last but not least, Canada...thank you!! I went to Canada and WOW...the fans are so amazing. I was overwhelmed by their support...thanks Canadians. I can't wait to come back and spend more time with you and get to know more of you...you guys are GREAT!!! So now that I have written a book I just want to let all my message boarders know how much I truly love you guys...it is the absolute, biggest encouragement to come to the MB and read all your thoughts and comments...anytime I feel discouraged I go to the board and you encourage me...thanks! I love the prayer request thread! I go to the thread and pray for the request...I believe very strongly in the power of prayer. Sometimes our prayers are not answered as quickly or the way we think they should be answered but always know that God is in control and what seems like the right answer to you may not be the right answer in the end. I have had many prayers answered almost immediately and then I have had the ones I have been praying for for a very long time but the key is perseverance. I find that when "I am down on my knees, God can pour himself all over me". I also appreciate all the support from the Teen People article...my hope is that it will encourage you to respect yourself...you are beautiful, special people...thank you for being my friends. I feel so BLESSED!!!!

Much Love, Jessica

Jessica's 12th entry (1/10/00)

I had a blast ringing in the new year at MTV, and of course, getting a little kissy from Nick at the stroke of midnight...have you guys seen People magazine...they caught us!! It is a sweet picture but of course I would think that...LOL!!!

So...THANK YOU ALL FOR GETTING ME TO THE #8 SPOT ON TRL...you all are so amazing because you keep on plugging away and voting for me and believing in me and I love all of you soooo much for your dedication. I know I am absolutely nowhere without your support so...thanks from the bottom of my heart!! I am feeling way better...it took me a little while to get over this last deal but hopefully I am staying out of the hospital for the year of 2000...I am getting all healthy, taking vitamins and working out...which is something I have needed to do but I am so lazy when it comes to taking care of myself...that is not a good way to be so I am really working on it! Why is it so hard to stay disciplined to exercise and eat healthy...I am a total junk food junkie...one of my faves is making brownies and never cooking them...I eat the whole bowl of brownie mix...RAW!!! Sounds yummy, huh? It really is good!!!

I want to talk to you all about the message board...I LOVE IT!!! Everytime I get the opportunity to read your messages, I do. The thing I love the most about the board is the way I feel your love not just for me but for one another. I never ever read other peoples' boards so I do not know if theirs is anything like ours but I am so impressed with all of your wisdom, encouragement, laughs, comments but most of all the totally positive feeling of everyone wanting to honestly help one another out...it is like even though I am not on the board everyday, you guys totally represent me!!! I love that so much!!! I must say I have THE WORLD'S GREATEST FANS!!! So I really want to answer as many of your questions as I can, and coladmin is supposedly putting all the questions together so I can answer as many as possible...

SO as many of you know, "Where You Are" is my next single...I am really excited about this song...Nick and I will be making the video in the next few weeks...I am so anxious to see how it will all come together...we both have a lot of ideas for the video but if any of you guys have suggestions...send them in...I would love to hear your thoughts! I know a lot of you were ready for one of my uptempos but it is coming...I am just doing things a little differently!!! "Where You Are" is a song that I feel is touched by God to be an encouragement for anyone who has ever lost someone they love...death can be such a scary situation but knowing that one day you will be reunited with your loved one brings about a peace that is indescribable...One day when I have a fresh new page I will tell you all my story....But for now....

You all are the absolute best and I consider it a privilege to come to this diary and just talk to you about anything and everything... we are the future...the generation of a new millennium...what will we do to make this world a better place??? Much love, Jessica

P.S. Keep on voting on TRL and requesting "I Wanna Love You..."

To Sarah from Colorado or wherever you live...tell Kate hello from Jessica and I do remember her. To Meghan...Hang in there and quote the scripture you put at the end of your message...Rom.8:28 (one of my faves)

To Justin...Interesting dream...I hope one day if i do need saving from a fire or whatever, that you are there to do the saving

To All My Friends and Fans...I love you!

Jessica's 11th entry (12/20/99)

Thank you all so much for writing, praying, being concerned and supporting me in my recent sickness. It was awful...but the doctor and nurses in Madison, Wisconsin were so sweet...I am thankful to all of you on the 4th floor of St. Mary's for taking such good care of me! I must say I am soooo happy to not be eating hospital food anymore...why is it soooo bad??? Okay i must tell you the best thing about being in the hospital....I got a "get well" phone call from the one and only Celine Dion...she is my all-time favorite and I was almost speechless when she said, "Hello, Jessica...this is Celine." I cannot believe she took time out of her busy schedule to call me....she is so sweet and sincere...I only hope i can be half as awesome as she is!!!

So...all of you who were coming out to see me at the radio shows, etc. I am so sorry...I promise if the places will have me back I will defintely be back for you all...to Rudy (see I do read my message board) I am so sorry I missed you but i know one day we will meet...thanks for giving up your race to see me! To all of you guys who write...thanks!!!

Thanks for voting for me on TRL...maybe one day I will get on there and stay!!! You know one thing about me and my career, I never do anything the easy way or what is considered normal but at least I am not boring!!! Thanks to all of you who have bought "Sweet Kisses"!!! I hope you are enjoying it! I hope all of you have a very Happy Holiday...I will be eating a lot and enjoying my fam and friends...and keeping up with all my new friends and fans on this site! Honestly, I think you all are the absolute best and everytime I come to this site I feel the love...thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

God's blessings,
Jessica

Jessica's 10th entry (12/15/99)

Hey guys...it is me. I am writing to whine a little and I am normally not much of a whiner but I feel so down. I have had to cancel my last few shows and the ones I tried so hard to sing at nothing would come out right. I am sick with strep, the flu and I am not sure exactly what else and I want to perform so bad it makes me cry...

A lot of people have suggested I lip sync the shows but I do not believe in that...I want to be honest about what I am singing...performing for me is all about making my audience feel what I am feeling and when you lip sync there is no way they can feel your true heart...I have been to the doctor and I should not even be talking according to him but it is hard to "shut me up"...

Basically I am writing to all of you to ask for your prayers and encouragement so I can get back to normal and sing my booty off the way i like to. I have a lot more shows to do before I take off for Christmas and my show is my only gift to so many of you who support me...I just want to give that to you all. I cannot even put into words the feeling of standing in front of thousands of people, pumped to do the very thing i love to do and then to open my mouth and nothing come out...it is the scariest feeling in the world for a singer...I have never had this happen and it is the most helpless feeling ever.... the doctor says my voice will be back to normal in a few days but I am impatient...

Please pray that I will heal quickly and properly...I need you all. Thanks for listening to me...you all are so amazing...I already feel better!!! I will write again with an update later...much love, Jessica

Jessica's 9th entry (12/6/99)

Hey guys...it is me again. Tonight is the last night of the Ricky Martin tour in Cleveland. What a learning experience this has been. I have hopefully grown as an artist and a performer. I have definetely faced some crazy situations. It is so wild to get in front of 20,000 people night after night and know that I am singing live and I have to entertain these people and hopefully win them over because many of them are just learning who I am.

Last night in Cincinatti was another humbling experience for me. I have had swollen glands and been on an antibotic but my throat was so dry that when I went for one of my big notes nothing came out. I could not believe it...that has never, ever happened to me in all my years of singing! I wanted to cry but i knew i had to keep on going. Nick Lachey was there to sing our duet "Where You Are" because this is his hometown and I wanted everything to go so well for him but my voice was just not there. We did the duet and everyone said it was great but by the time I got to my big ballad which is the last song I do...my voice was so raspy I sounded like a grandma...Cincinatti...I promise to come back one day and give you a great performance! I must say it was awesome singing on stage with Nick...it just felt right! He is so supportive of my career...it is awesome!

So tonight is Cleveland (if my voice holds up) and then I will be appearing at a lot of radio shows until the 19th of December. Also, I am presenting at the Billboard Awards Show in Las Vegas on the 8th of December and also on The View on the 15th of Dec...

Now about this chat board on my webpage. I do get to read it occasionally and I get the biggest kick out of it...you guys are great! I love all my fans!!! I am so excited about our future together...I already feel the love and it is amazing!!! To answer a few of your questions, my mom is compiling a list of the questions and I will write here, and answer as many as I can in the next few weeks. I want to communicate with you guys as much as possible but I never get many chances to read the board ...but thank you so much for writing...you all are the absolute best!!!

Okay, now my thought for the week...as the holiday season is upon us my prayer is that all of us would look beyond ourselves and out into our communities to help the needy. There are so many children who never get one gift, elderly people who have no family and no food, homeless people cold and lonely, friends at school who just need a hug and a little encouragement. Look around you and see what you see...then take the opportunity to be Love to someone. It doesn's always have to be a lot just a simple smile, a hug, a note of encouragement or showing someone you really do care...Have a happy holiday season! Love to you all...Jessica

P.S...Thanks for all the radio request for my song, the TRL request, thanks for going out and buying the album and the single and making my dreams come true...I owe so much to you all...keep it up! I think "Sweet Kisses" makes a great holiday gift don't you..haha!! Much Love!!!!

Jessica's 8th entry (11/22/99)

Hello everyone...since the last time I wrote, so many things have happened. I am so amazed at how everything is going. As many of you know my single is #5 on Hot 100 Billboard and #2 in single sales....I am so humbled by these gifts...thanks to all of you for your support! You guys are the absolute best!! Tomorrow my album is in the stores. I am so nervous! I cannot believe that after 2 years and 3 months everyone will be able to hear what I have been pouring my heart and soul into! As I look back on the beginning of this journey, I think of how many things have changed and how I have grown as an artist and as a person. I am indeed thankful that it has taken as long as it has because I am now ready! Had it come too soon I do not know exactly how I would have handled everything. Again, to all of you who come to this site and support me and just want to know a little about what is going on...THANK YOU< THANK YOU> THANK YOU!!!! I hope and pray that you love Sweet Kisses. I wanted my work to encourage you and give you hope and basically just make you feel good.

So, the Ricky Martin tour is going great...we are having fun and it is almost over. Ricky has been so amazing and kind. I have learned a lot by watching him perform every night. He has such a passion for his music and a love for his fans. I feel so blessed to have had this experience!

Tonight I have a show in San Jose and tomorrow is Sacramento...then it is home for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to see my family...I love the holidays! I have so much to be thankful for...God's mercy and blessings upon me are immeasurable...I only hope I can give back to him a little of the blessings he has given to me. So....everyone have a blessed thanksgiving...remember all the gifts and have fun with your families! AND...DON'T FORGET TO GO PICK UP SWEET KISSES IN STORES TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23rd...Love all you...Jessica

Jessica's 7th entry (11/8/99) 

(About the first night in New York) (Laughs) My first night in Madison Square Garden was probably the most embarrassing night of my entire life and will always be the most embarrassing night. I can remember walking down the hall and seeing Michael Jackson's picture (on the wall) performing, (along with) Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Janet Jackson...I mean everybody's picture was up there and I was nervous to begin with. So, I go out there and I start dancing and I go to hit a huge high note, and I bend down, and I sing my pants off, literally. My pants crack...split...and started falling off, and I slowly walked backstage...started crying...I was freaked out. My mom runs back there, pulls off her jeans...(giggles)...so she's standing in her underwear, backstage. She gave me her shoes and everything. I crouched over and I walk out and I say "Alright...I don't know who saw my booty, but I'm still gonna sing it off, so here's my next song," and I tried to do it, even though it was one of the most humiliating things. I couldn't just stop, 'ya know, so...that was my night.

(About the second night in New York) Tonight, I'm gonna sing my butt off, not my pants. (Laughs)

Jessica's 6th entry (9/23/99)

Hey everybody, It has been awhile since i last talked to all of you. My life has been CRAZY!!! I am not even sure where to begin but i will start with the present and move backwards. Lets see...new news flash!!! I am going on tour with Ricky Martin starting October 20th in Miami...am i psyched or what!!! I cannot believe it...what an amazing singer and performer he is...i feel honored just to share the same stage with him. I just finished shooting my video in LA last week. It should go to MTV next week. My single will be instores on September 28th and I cannot believe that i will finally be in stores all across America. This has been a long and hard road but that makes it even sweeter when it finally comes around. I want to say thank you to all the fans out there that come to this site and read about me and support me and my music...i love you guys and i think you are the absolute greatest...you know I am nothing without your support and love...THANKS!!! I have been on tour with 98 Degrees (my personal favorite group) since September 4th. All the shows have been sold out shows...and by the way...98 Degree fans are the absolute best...they are so AMAZING!!! Boston, we performed for about 30,000 screaming fans in the pouring rain. I was drenched from head to toe but it was so much fun...we met No Authority for the first time. They are also opening for 98 Degrees...what nice guys, and they can shake their booty's!! We did a state fair in Detroit and i just love the radio station in detroit...they have been over the top supportive of me. They are great people! The next morning i did an interview with the station and i got to hear my song on the radio...that is such a humbling feeling...what a rush!!! We got on the bus and drove back to New York for another show and press. We have since been back and across America twice...I am feeling a little tired but I love what I am doing....Of course, as usual, we are crazy on the tour bus mooning all the truckers and dancing around acting crazy at 3 am...I have a new dancer...her name is Marisa Gilliam, she is 22 years old and lives in LA but is from Waco, Texas. She is HYPER and lots of fun so she fits in great with the rest of us. I think one of the most memorable moments of the trip so far was in New York. I did a runway show in the middle of Times Square to kick off Fashion Week. It was probably one of the most intimidating things I have ever done. I walked the runway with gorgeous, skinny, 6 ft. models like Heidi Klum, Esther Canadas just to name a few. By the way, i am 5ft.3... I modeled for Shoshana...her clothes are so great! I wore a beautiful peachy, nude colored ball gown with a matching bustier with beaded straps but i almost freaked seconds before going out because i was so freakin' scared!!! Put me in front of a million people to sing and i will sing my butt off and never be scared but put me on a runway and i become the biggest chicken ever!!! But I did It..and i was proud of myself...another fear conquered! For those of you who did not know, i had emergency surgery in Boston while there doing a showcase for radio and label people in august. I had a cyst on my fallopian tube the size of a volleyball with 3.5 liters of fluid inside of it...yes, we can say painful!! God put me in Boston at just the right time because the doctor (who is my personal hero) was an amazing surgeon and had the knowledge and tools necessary to do surgery without having to do it so extensively that i would have been out of commission for a long time. I am healing great and have been able to continue performing of which i am so grateful. SO... I will try to keep everyone posted here on this site. My single is in stores on the 28th of September so don't forget ot go buy one. Also, thanks for all the phone request for "I Wanna Love You"...the response has been very good...keep making those calls and requesting the song...i appreciate it so, so much!!! I want to make all of you proud of who I am as a person and as an artist...i hope i can do that for all of you...Keep your heads up, stay strong and never, ever forget that GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!!

Sweet Kisses, Jessica

Jessica's 5th entry

As I'm writing this I am really sad thinking about the "Heat It Up Tour" coming to an end. My experiences on my first tour have made many of my dreams come true. Dreams to perform in front of thousands, dreams to affect this world in a positive way, dreams to sign autographs, dreams to hear people chanting my name, and most of all dreams to make friends across the country like all of you. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to share my heart, my dreams and my first tour with you.

Since I last wrote to you the tour has come to an end. We performed our last shows in the South. I got to perform my cut off the "Dawson's Creek" soundtrack, "Did You Ever Love Somebody" the last three shows. The response was really unexpected because I hadn't really sung a ballad to an audience and everyone loved it. I'm actually a huge ballad singer as you will see from my album. Some of my favorite singers and influences in my singing career are Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Toni Braxton and Cece Winans just to name a few. Anyways I got to do what I absolutely adore in the final shows. The last show was so much fun. My dancers and I were really shooken up 5 minutes before. We all prayed our prayers together and just cried like babies. After we touched up our makeup we were ready to end the tour with a smash show full of energy. Our families and best friends were there so that made it very special. I was so proud to have my Nanna & Pappaw there. The prayers they have put into my life have gotten me to this point. After it was over we went to out into the audience and jammed to 98 Degrees. It was sad to watch the show for the last time--considering we know every dance move and every note sung. At the end of their show, right before "Because Of You" they called my dancers and me up on stage to say thanks, which was very special. When we got on stage we were just smiling and waving and then all of a sudden the guys pulled out SUPER WATER SOAKERS from underneath their shirts and SOAKED US! We were drenched. We have yet to get them back--but it is coming sooner than they think. We said our good-byes to the production crew who have been amazing. No more tour bus--that's okay!! I will just miss everyone. We are a family and I will cherish every memory.

The cool thing about the tour being over is that I went back to Dallas to visit friends and family. All my best friends have just completed their first year of college--it is weird because we have all gone our separate ways but a lot of us keep up with one another. You really begin to know who your true friends are as you grow up! I really love and appreciate my friends. So I'm saying good-bye for now but I want all of you to know how much I love and appreciate your support, love and encouragement. Be listening for the single, I've Got My Eyes On You, coming soon. Please, please write to me on my web page or to the address listed below--I love hearing from you. I'll be writing keeping everyone posted on exactly what's happening, but for now I will leave you with all of my heart's encouragement and prayers. Remember: "Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a gift to be enjoyed." I challenge you to love every second of your life--even through your trials. This develops character which produces perseverance. Stay strong and God bless.

Jessica Simpson

Jessica's 4th entry

Hey guys, I'm back to fill you in on the latest!! Since the last time we talked so many things have happened. After our show on April 19 in Grand Rapids, we left straight for New York. My dancers and I definitely laughed a lot. I'm gonna tell you a secret, but SHHH...! While everyone was sleeping the girls all mooned the trucks that drove by so some truck drivers got to see 5 white hineys. When we got to New York I had to go shopping for some new clothes. We also went to a Broadway show--Les Miserables. The next day was a blast because I got to hang out w/ the Teen People crew. I sang "Amazing Grace" at a convention hosted by Teen People for the "20 Most Influential Teens in America." It was filled with so many remarkable people. I got to meet Tatiyana Ali, LFO, the Moffats, David Holmes (host on MTV), Star Jones, and many more. I felt so privileged to open up the whole ceremony with my favorite song.

I love Teen People!! They are giving me amazing opportunities. They all came to the show that night at the Beacon Theatre along with a ton of people from Columbia Records. The fans were so great in New York. Actually the fans have been beautiful at every show. Some have been a little shaky, but for the most part they have been really wonderful. On the same night 98 had a platinum party--I am so proud of those guys. They deserve every good thing that happens to them. So I wake up the next morning and my picture was in the NY Post! I freaked out! They called me "Jennifer Simpson," but hey, at least my picture was in the paper. In New York we worked really hard traveling in and out of venues. Let's just say we take advantage of our days off. In Pittsburgh, Laurie (one of my dancers) was sick from this nasty pizza we ate and she threw up before and after the show. Thank God she held it back during the show because the people in the front row wouldn't have been very happy!

On April 27 I had another photo shoot for all the teen magazines like Bop and BB, etc. That lasted a really long time so I had to go straight to the show and perform. Guess what this was also the day the Dawson's Creek soundtrack came out. My song is (track) #13! I cried and cried because I was so happy people were going to hear me around the world. On the same day Columbia Records threw a party for me--100 people were there just from Columbia! I felt special. A couple days ago we missed our show in Washington D.C. Our bus driver left the lights on in our bus the night so the battery went dead. We were really upset, but we were cured quickly because we went shopping! Hey, we made a new friend in Richmond, VA. His name is Bourke and he is an Abercrombie & Fitch model. I'm sure you have seen him in all the stores and catalogs. He is a doll! He kept us laughing our butts off. Talk about an amazing crowd--Richmond has been one the best! THANK YOU. Last night we were in Columbus, Ohio. That show was fun cause it was Jeff's birthday! Us girls got him a huge cookie cake--I'm pretty sure they ate it already! I met some great girls at the show last night. I stayed after my autograph signing and talked to some girls for a while--everyone is just so sweet to me.

Thank you--I love you all! God bless all of you. Keep your head up--I know this world can sometimes weigh you down. My secret--prayers work!

Jessica

Jessica's 3rd entry

Hey ya'll,

So many things have been happening these past couple of days. Since I last talked to you we've had shows in Chicago, Dayton, Cleveland, Detroit and East Lansing. So as you can see we have been extremely busy. There has been a lot of hilarious things that happened these past few shows. Such as, Drew sliding off the stage into the pit and House (the bodyguard) having to give him a boost to get back on stage, Nick's pants almost falling off during "True To Your Heart," the drummer (Milas--a cutie) put a hole in the snare drum so the guys had to stall and much more. Us girls always look forward to the part of the show where they introduce each other. Every time Jeff says something different about Nick. Last night he was a canary and the night before he was the man with the "golden tonsils"--just to give you an example. We definitely laugh a lot on tour.

Oh yeah, in Dayton there was a bomb threat in the building. We had to evacuate the building and stand outside in the freezing cold, but at least we got to meet and take pictures with a lot of fans. They never found a bomb, so we were safe--thank God! It was scary and funny at the same time. But the scariest incident had to do with our bus. We were traveling overnight from Chicago to Dayton and everyone was sound asleep until we felt the bus tip to the side and go off the side of the road. We were rolling off our bunks, stuff was flying everywhere, and we were screaming! What had happened was two semitrucks had collided right in front of our bus and we had to hit the ditch!! Pretty scary, huh? We had angels surrounding us--thank you, God.

Last night in East Lansing we had a blast after the show. The band, 98 Degrees, my dancers and I rented out a laser tag arena and we ran around shooting everybody. Nick and Drew are sore losers!! The band beat 98, and I thought it was so funny because the guys were so mad. You know guys and sports--they always have to win! Well that's most of the excitement for the last couple of days. Thanks for checking in again--until next time.

Love ya'll! Jessica

Jessica's 2nd entry

Hello again,

Today is our first day off in a couple of weeks. It feels good to relax and not have anything to do. Right now I'm on a flight to Chicago. Everybody else is on the bus making a 25-hour bus ride from Salt Lake City to Chicago. Lucky them, huh? Anyway, things in the states are going great. The best audience has been in Sacramento. This was a blessing because I was nervous about the U.S. crowds. Sacramento was my first show in the United States and everyone was really wonderful to me. B*Witched has now joined us--I love those girls. They are so sweet and great on stage. Their energy would make anyone want to jump out of their seat. The other day I actually had a really embarrassing moment. We were in Las Vegas. To set this story up you need to know that all of my shoes are platformed at least 3-4 inches high. I could be a Spice Girl! So we are on the first song and I go to do this dance move thinking I'd be looking really professional and I trip! I caught myself right before I hit the floor, but everyone started laughing. My dancers and I could barely finish the song. Afterwards, I admitted to everyone how clumsy I am and basically made fun of myself because I was so humiliated. I am over it now, but it was so funny! I'm sure that's just one of many for my career. San Francisco was a lot of fun because we shopped a lot!!

My family met us in Phoenix for Easter. We were on the road that morning so I missed out on going to church. That was really upsetting because Easter Sundays are phenomenally spiritual. They take you to a whole different level. I also missed out on having an Easter egg hunt--NO CANDY! At least I got to see my nannie, aunts, uncles and cousins too. We had an Easter dinner at a fancy restaurant. It was fun the past couple of days. I have been really sick--yesterday I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics. Last night in Salt Lake City I thought I was going to have to lip-sync, but I pulled it off live. I don't know how, but I did. I feel so much better today. Two days ago I had a photo shoot with Teen People and that was a blast. I loved all the amazing clothes! The whole Teen People crew is great. They love what they do and I really respect that. Well, I will be sure and write again soon. I just wanted to fill you in on the latest!

Take care and God Bless Jessica Simpson Phil. 4:13

Jessica's 1st entry

Hey everyone!!

I am going to give y'all a quick update on the "Heat it Up" tour with 98. Right now I am in Vancouver finishing up the Canadian part of the tour. Our daily routine consists of waking up, working out, eating, shopping (if there is time), sound check (normally we stay a while to catch 98 on their sound check), going back to the hotel and showering, then back to the venue where our dressing rooms are, getting ready, next we jam to Shania Twain and dance around, have our prayer time, hit the stage at 8:45, change, then go out into the audience and watch 98 put on an amazing show, afterwards sign autographs (very exciting for me because I love to meet all the cute girls and a guy every now and then), go back to the hotel and shower, after that we hop on the tour bus and travel to the next venue. What a day huh? Our bus rides are actually really fun because my dancers and I watch movies and eat a lot of junk food. We laugh all the time. There have been a lot of highlights in these past couple of weeks. My dreams are coming true. It feels so good to get up there on stage and perform. I am glad to be out of the studio and performing - FINALLY!! The best part of the tour was my first show. I can't even tell you how nervous I was. After our prayer time I felt a little more at ease. The main thing I was afraid of was being BOOED! I knew the girls all wanted 98. Also I was scared that the girls thought that I was dating one of the guys and would throw something.

Right when we hit the stage my heart was beating so fast. We nailed it!! The crowd was amazing and the response was a blessing. When it was over and the audience was clapping I couldn't fight back my tears. I was in awe. It was so surreal. I can't explain my emotions because it was an experience of a lifetime. When we got off the stage I said, "I feel so lucky that I get to do this for the rest of my life." People were chanting my name and I was signing autographs - sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if I am still dreaming. Now I will fill you in on the guys. They are absolutely the sweetest, most sincere guys in the world. Not to mention extremely talented!! Those guys can sing their butts off. We get to hang out with them every now and then, but they stay extremely busy. It is such an honor to be the opening act for their wonderful show. I love being on tour because every day is something exciting, whether it is signing an autograph, or shopping in a new mall. Everything seems to be a thrill. The happiness it brings me I can never explain. I'm having the time of my life. After my show the other night, this girl came to me and pulled me aside to talk to me. If you have seen the show you heard my song, "Woman in Me." I talk about loving yourself for you. Anyway, this girl told me how encouraged she was by the lyrics of the song and that it basically changed her outlook on herself and appearance.

This is the very reason I have been put in this position. I love to encourage people. I feel God is going to use me as a positive role model. If you never hear my name again, it is okay with me because I'm not in this for stardom. My heart's focus is impacting this world in a positive way. This tour has given me many opportunities and that is just one experience. Thank you for everything. Please keep us (the whole tour crew) in your prayers. Take care and God Bless.

Jessica Simpson PHIL. 4:13