Cheesy Romance Title:  Cheesy Romance
Author:  Reedfem
Author's e-mail:  [email protected]
Date: Posted to EntSTSlash 01 May 2003, sent to MEGA 30 Sep 2003.
Archive: Permission to archive granted to EntSTCommunity and MEGA
Fandom: Star Trek: Enterprise
Category: Slash
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Pairing: Archer/Reed
Main characters: Archer, Porthos
Summary:  A little whine with that cheese?  Very silly bit of fluff. 
Warnings: None
Beta:  Nah, who would read this?  
Feedback:  Constructive criticism always welcome.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: These characters are copyrighted by Paramount, no copyright infringement is intended and no money was made.  The poor boys just keep following me home and begging to stay.  Quite nicely, too!
Author's notes:  No lactose-intolerant beagles were harmed in the writing of this fic.  Any cheese product referred to is soy-based. 


The lighting is dim.  Even though we are in deep space, we still simulate the daily passage of time by lowering the ship's lighting during the traditional hours of darkness as we would have on Earth.  Archaic perhaps, but comforting somehow.  A connection. 

Jonathan Archer allowed his thoughts to wander as he participated in another comforting ritual.  Porthos' nightly bedtime potty walk.  What could be a particularly disgusting situation had been dealt with efficiently by Starfleet engineers, once it had become clear that Archer was not leaving without his companion.  They'd designed a portable device for Archer to carry with him, essentially a high tech pooper-scooper that vaporized deposited waste.  It was better than a plastic bag, Archer reflected, as he aimed it at the floor. 

Done, he straightened up and looked around.  Porthos was gone.  Archer clucked his tongue and the beagle stuck his head around the corner, looking back at him excitedly.  Archer followed him and found him sniffing and growling at a piece of paper on the ground.  Thinking ominous thoughts about littering, he picked it up and realized what had set the little dog off.  The paper was wrapped around a piece of cheese.  With a little smile, he tossed the cheese to Porthos and examined the paper more closely.  There was writing on it.

At the touch of love,
everyone becomes a poet (1)

How odd.  Archer folded the note and put it in his pocket, following behind Porthos, who had started off again.   Archer was still musing over the note when Porthos ducked down a side corridor and returned with something in his mouth.  More paper.  Archer took it from him.  More cheese.  Another note. 

If I know what love is,
it is because of you. (2)

Curiouser and curiouser.  Porthos caught the cheese in mid-air and the duo continued their walk.  Porthos took another detour, returned with another note-wrapped piece of cheese. 

Thou art my life, my love, my heart,
The very eyes of me;
And hast command of every part,
To live and die for thee. (3)

Another corridor, another note, another piece of cheese. 

You were made perfectly to be loved,
and surely I have loved you,
in the idea of you,
my whole life long. (4)

Porthos was enjoying this new game immensely. Archer realized he was grinning.  This *was* fun.

Love is that condition
in which the happiness of another person
is essential to your own. (5)

Porthos was panting now, tongue lolling out of his mouth, as he snuffled around for the next treat. 

When I saw you I fell in love.
And you smiled because you knew. (6)

They were nearly back to Archer's quarters.  His mind was whirling.  One more note.  Stuck to his door. 

I love you not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out. (7)

Archer stabbed in his code and the door slid back.  Porthos brushed past and with a happy bark, launched himself at the figure lying on the bed. 

"Hello boy.  Did you two have a nice walk?"

"Yes, we did."  Porthos was now enthusiastically washing Malcolm's face with long sweeps of his tongue. 

"Cut it out, Porthos.  That's *my* job."  Archer sat down on the bed beside Malcolm and proceeded to thoroughly kiss his pre-moistened lover.  "Thank you, love.  What's the occasion?"

"Romance requires an occasion?"

"Every day is an occasion with you.  You went to a lot of trouble arranging that.  I'm touched."  Malcolm gave him a lusty grin and pulled Archer back down to him.

"You will be." 

*** 

1. Plato

2. Herman Hesse

3. Robert Herrick

4. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

5. Robert A. Heinlein

6. Arrigo Boito

7. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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