Payment in Full - Chapter 18 TITLE:                       PAYMENT IN FULL- CHAPTER 18
AUTHOR:                 PIPPIN
RATING:                   NC-17 (to be on the safe side)
PAIRING:                  Archer/Trip

SETTING:                 Minor spoilers:  "Stigma"; "First Flight" and "The Expanse".  Set after the events of "Savior".

FEEDBACK:            Always!  [email protected] 

DISCLAIMER:         Paramount owns the characters. I’m just borrowing them, and promise to return them safe and sound.  The only thing I gain from this is some writing practice.

SUMMARY:              Everything has a price.




Chapter 18


Trip blinked, opened his eyes for a brief second, then closed them again, but not before catching a glimpse of a bright white ceiling.  Sickbay's ceiling.  He opened his eyes once more, and tried to raise his head off of his pillow and was rewarded with a wave of dizziness that washed through him.  Groaning, he lay back and shut his eyes.

"Now lie quiet," Phlox said from somewhere beside him.

He sighed.  His head ached, as did all of his joints, and he had a foul taste in his mouth.  Lying quiet was not an option; rather, it was a definite necessity.

He felt a hand under his head, lifting it slightly.  He opened his eyes to see a small glass of a pale green fluid that was held to his lips.  "It will help," Phlox assured him.  Trip was of the opinion that nothing could help, but he was too tired to argue, and so sipped at it nonetheless.  "All of it," Phlox instructed.  When he was finished, Phlox laid him back down.  Whatever that green stuff was, it had rid him of the god-awful taste in his mouth, but all in all, he was still feeling pretty wretched.  He shivered, and Phlox responded by pulling another blanket up over him.  A slow warmth began to creep through him.  He wasn't sure whether this was due to the potion or the extra blanket, but he didn't care; he was just happy to be warm.

"How long?"  His voice was a bare whisper.

"Three days."

He closed his eyes.  Three days.  And as he pondered that, his memory, vague and incomplete as it was, began to return.

He remembered Malcolm's weight atop of him, pinning him deep into the gel mattress of his bed, and his horrified realization that it was entirely possible that his best friend was about to rape him.  And then Jon had shown up in the proverbial nick of time, pulling Malcolm off of him.

He must have grayed out then, for the next thing he knew, he was being sick.  He was aware of Jon's strong, gentle hands cradling his head, steadying him, and of Jon's voice, reassuring and soothing.  He had gasped out an apology, nearly weeping with shame and frustration as he did.  Jon's response had been to stroke his hair and then crisply inform him that he was a goddamned idiot.  He couldn't help being sick and it was nothing to be ashamed of, and if he apologized one more time, he'd find himself scrubbing plasma conduits.  Jon had then given him a drink of something, and helped him to lay back.  He remembered Jon kissing his forehead, and then he must have fainted.

After that, his memories became increasingly jumbled and dreamlike.  He remembered hearing fragments of conversation, snippets of words, echoing down the long dark corridor he found himself in, and seeing faces, faces that swam briefly into view and then faded into the darkness.  And now waking up in Sickbay.  Three days later. 

He opened his eyes, managed to turn his head.  Phlox was seated beside him.  The doctor's usually cheerful expression was muted, and Trip had a good idea why.  "How bad?"

"Bad enough," Phlox said matter-of-factly.  "I am afraid that your recovery has been set back significantly."

"Sorry."

Phlox was genuinely surprised at this.  The young Commander had nothing to blame himself for.  "Commander, you are not at fault.  You have done nothing wrong."

"Still – " Trip began.

" – Not another word, Commander.  Not one."  He took another glass; this one with a flexible straw, and held it up to his patient.  "Drink."  He saw the doubt in the engineer's eyes.  "Ginger ale.  That's all."  He watched as the Commander obeyed, sipping slowly at first, and then more thirstily.

When he had finished, Phlox fussed over him for a moment, adjusting the pillows and blankets.  The least he could do right now was ensure his patient's complete comfort.  "I want you to sleep."

"Jon?" 

Phlox sighed.  He had determined that, at present, what he was about to tell his patient was in his best interests, but knew that it was going to upset the Commander.  As for the Captain … His thoughts flew back to that encounter.

“Doc!”  Archer called through the intercom from the hallway outside Sickbay.

“Yes, Captain?”

“There’s something wrong with the door.”

“Indeed?”

“Yeah – looks like it’s stuck.  Don’t worry, though.  I’ll call maintenance.  They’ll have it fixed in a jiffy.”

“There is no need to call maintenance.”

“Of course there is.  I can’t get in!”

“That’s because the door is locked.”

“What?  You’re kidding!”

“I’ve never been more serious.”

“Well unlock it, then.  Let me in.”

“Are you in need of medical assistance, Captain?”

“What kind of question is that?  Do I look like I need a doctor?”

“Then I’m afraid I can’t allow you to enter Sickbay.”

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?  Unlock the damn door!  Now!”

Phlox took a deep breath.  “Captain,” he said quietly.  “Please keep your voice down.  You’ll disturb Commander Tucker.”  As he thought, that immediately quieted the Captain.  In terms of volume, at least. 

Archer continued in a soft hiss.  “You’d better have a damn good reason for this!.”

“The Commander needs rest.  Complete rest.  I’m afraid I cannot allow him to have any visitors until he is less agitated.”

“I’m not just any visitor, damn it!”

“Agreed.  But I’m afraid I have to insist.  I can’t risk causing him any more distress.”

“Doctor!”  Archer said, his voice a strangled whisper. 

“I’m sorry, Captain.  But my mind is made up.”

The Captain switched tactics.  “You say you don’t want to cause Trip to suffer any more distress.  How is not letting him see me going to accomplish that?  Won’t it just upset him even more?”

“It’s true that he may not be pleased,” Phlox admitted.  “But it is for his own good.”

Archer sighed, surrendered.  “How long?”

“I can’t give you a definite answer, Captain.  As long as it takes.” 

Archer glowered at him through the glass door.  “Wonderful.”

“I will give you daily reports.”

“Not good enough.”

“Twice a day.”

“Three times a day.  Morning, noon and night.  Literally.  And the instant – the instant, do you hear me? - he’s well enough, I want to see him.  Do you understand, Doctor?”

“Very well.  And now, if you’ll excuse me, Captain.”  He turned, but he could still feel the Captain’s wrathful gaze like a dagger in his back.

Now he looked down upon Commander Tucker. "The Captain is fine," he replied, keeping his tone brisk and business-like.  "Quite naturally he is somewhat concerned about you, but I have been sending him reports on your condition."

"Can I see him?"

"No."

"But – "

"No, Commander."

"I thought you said I hadn't done anything wrong."

Obviously, his patient was emotionally upset; otherwise he would never consider this to be a punitive or disciplinary measure.  He hastened to reassure him.  "And you have not.  But you must rest.  I'm afraid I have to insist on this.  You've had several severe shocks over the last 72 hours, and I'm afraid visitors would be too upsetting."

"If I don't see Jon, I'm going to be upset anyway."

Phlox knew that this was true, but at present, it was the lesser of two evils.  "You sleep," he said kindly.  "And when you awake, we'll see.  No promises, but if you have a good sleep, the chances are you'll be able to see the Captain.  All right?"

"All right," Trip said reluctantly.  He wondered how on earth he was supposed to sleep, lonely and miserable as he felt right now.  Then he heard the hiss of a hypospray, and knew no more.

 

*  *  *

It was dark.  So very dark.  He was trapped.  He couldn't see, and he couldn't move.  He couldn't get away.  And they were at him.  Again.  He could hear them.  And feel them.  Trapped, in the dark.  Forever.  He screamed in horror and despair, and with that, jerked into a terrified wakefulness.

He saw Jon, bending over him.  "It's all right, brat." 

Trip could not answer.  He was staring at his lover in shock.  Jon was unshaven and unkempt, and dark circles bracketed the Captain’s worried hazel eyes.  "Jesus, Jon – you look like hell."

"Look who's talking," Jon retorted, but his humor was forced.

"Have you slept?  At all?"

Jon did not reply.  Instead, he bent and kissed Trip on the forehead.

"That's what I thought," Trip said grimly.  "Jon, you've got to get some rest."

"I'm not the only one," Jon replied.  "This is the third time tonight that you've woken screaming.  Phlox called me after the last time."  He stroked Trip's hair.  "What are we going to do with you?"  Trip had no answer.  Jon sighed.  "And I don't think Phlox is going to let you come home anytime soon, either."

Trip sighed in turn.  "I know.  I'm sorry," he managed to whisper. 

Jon looked surprised.  “What?”

“I’m sorry.  For screwing things up.”

“It’s not your fault, Trip.  You can’t help being sick.”

“Not that.  The Vesorams.”

“What about the Vesorams?”

“I mean, the banquet.  The dance.  They must have noticed you were gone.  Probably pissed them off no end.”

Jon smiled.  “On the contrary, brat.  They were afraid that they were responsible.”

Trip stared.  “Huh?”

“Mistress Y'Ayna knew you’re recuperating, remember?  And she also knew that you supervised the overhaul of their engines.  She was afraid it was too much for you.”

“Did you let her know it wasn’t that?”

“Yep.  As far as she knows, you had a relapse and that’s it.”

“Malcolm … ?”

Now Jon’s voice was flinty.  “I’m not about to air our dirty linen in front of the Vesorams.  They don’t know anything about his part in it.  We’ll deal with that quietly.  Privately.  And it's not your fault either, brat."

"That's what everyone says.  But I can't help feeling bad.  And is Malcolm... ?"

Jon's face hardened.  "What about Lieutenant Reed?"

"Jon – please."

"He's confined to quarters."

"Is he okay?"

"Don't worry about him."

"I can't help it.  I am worried."

"It's more than he deserves." 

"He was drunk, Jon.  Drunk.  He didn't know – "

"No," Jon said with finality.  "No, that's not going to work, Trip.  He wasn't that drunk.  He knew what he was doing was wrong.  You said no.  Hell, I could hear you out in our living room.  He heard you, too.  And didn't stop.  Where I come from, that's called assault."

"But – "

"But nothing.  This is not something we can ignore, and you know it.  This is a matter of ship's discipline.  Lieutenant Reed assaulted a fellow officer.  Tell me, would you still be so lenient if it had been Hoshi?  Or Marsha?"

Trip was silent.  "You see?"  Jon asked.  He stroked Trip's hair.  "I don't want you worrying about it."

"I know.  But like I said, I can't help it.  What's going to happen to him?"

"That hasn't been decided yet."

"I think I should have a say in whatever you do decide.  After all, it was me that he – he – "

" – Assaulted."

Trip surrendered.  "Okay.  Assaulted.  I should have a say."

"You're in no shape to deal with this right now.  It's already made you sick.  Literally.  I don't want you getting sicker."

"Do you have to decide right now?"

"No," Jon said reluctantly.

"Then you can wait a while?"

"Only for a little while.  I can't put it off forever, you know."

"Okay.  Fair enough."  He sighed.  "You know, I doubt that any punishment you hand out is going to hurt him any worse than what he's already feeling himself."

"You might be surprised," Jon growled.

"Jon," Trip said.  "Please."

"All right," Jon sighed.  "Maybe so.  But I can't let him off the hook because he feels badly now."

"I know," Trip said.  "I understand."

The curtains around his bed parted, and Phlox came through.  "You are supposed to be sleeping, Commander."  He had another hypospray in his hand.

Trip held up a weak hand.  "Doc –"

"- I'm afraid I must insist, Commander.  You need your sleep."

"OK – but Jon does, too."  He looked at his lover.  "I'll take a shot if he does."

"Okay," Jon said reluctantly.  "I promise."

"Sorry."  Trip shook his head.  "You first."

"I'll never make it back to our quarters!"

"Plenty of beds here.  Right, Doc?"

"Indeed, Commander."

Jon sighed.  "All right."  He watched as Phlox pulled back the curtain separating Trip's bed from the next. The Captain then slowly climbed onto the bed, pulled a blanket over himself.  Phlox gave him the shot, and he glared over at Trip.  "I hope you're happy now."

"Delirious."

Phlox pressed the spray against Trip's neck.  He heard Jon say, as if from far away, "Brat."

"Bastard," he managed, and then fell asleep.

*  *  *

Trip awoke, and turned his head to look at the biobed next to him.  His last clear memory had been of seeing Jon stretched out there.  Now the bed was empty.  Not surprising, considering.  It was past noon, according to the bedside clock.  He swallowed; his throat was awfully dry.  He propped himself up on one elbow, and managed to snag the thermal glass on the bedside table.  He drank thirstily, emptying it, and then laid back with a sigh. 

Phlox appeared as if summoned.  "Commander."

"Hey, Doc."

"Do you think you could eat?"

"Not right now."

Phlox did not push it.  Instead, he came, and sat beside him.  "Did you sleep well?"

"A little better, thanks."  He looked over at the empty bed.  "And Jon?"

"A few hours."

Trip shook his head.  "That's not enough."  He sighed.  "He looks like hell."

"The Captain is under a strain right now," Phlox agreed.

"He needs a break."

"I concur.  But he has refused the shore leave – "

"Shore leave?  What shore leave?"

"The Vesorams have offered the crew the hospitality of the planet.  And Starfleet feels that this is an excellent opportunity to further relations."

"So the entire crew is taking shore leave."

"On a rotating basis, yes."

"Except for Jon."

"And you.  And me."

Trip sighed.  "Jon really needs a break.  More than anyone else."

"I'm not disagreeing, Commander.  I was contemplating making it a medical order."

"Don't," Trip said decisively.  "I'll take care of the good Captain."  He settled back on his pillows, his pale face set and determined.

"Very well," Phlox agreed, careful to hide his smile.

*  *  *

Archer entered Sickbay at a near-gallop.  Phlox had refused to let him see Trip until last night, when the dreams had gotten particularly bad.  And now the doctor had called him to come down again, and he feared the worst.

He pushed the curtains around Trip's bed aside, and hurried over.  The younger man was pale and still, and Archer felt his heart twist in his chest.

Then Trip opened his eyes, looked up at him.  "Buster," he said, "you are in so much trouble."

*  *  *

"You can't expect me to just leave you here!"

"I can and do.  Hanging around isn't going to help me right now.  What it will do, though, is piss me off."

"But I think Phlox will let you come home if you ask."

"Well, I'm not going to.  Ask, that is."

"What?"

"You heard me," Trip said quietly.  "I'm staying put.  That way, you've got no excuse for staying aboard."  He looked at Archer, determination evident in every line of his face.

Archer stared back.  He'd forgotten what a forceful personality Trip could be, and right now, that force was aimed directly at him.  "I can't," he protested again.  "I can't go off and leave you.  I won't."

"Fine," said Trip angrily.  "Fine.  You stay.  Go right ahead.  Make yourself sick.  That'll be real helpful."

"Trip – "

"No.  If you don't want to go, then don't.  But I'm staying here.  And I don't want to see you."

Archer felt like he'd been punched in the gut.  "You're kidding."

"I am not.  I'm not going to help you kill yourself."

"You're exaggerating."

"Not by a hell of a lot.  Looked in a mirror lately?"

Archer did not respond, and Trip frowned.  "Obviously, you're set on behaving like a damn fool.  Well, I don’t want to put up with it.  Get out."

"Trip – you're joking, right?"

"You heard me.  I'm serious.  You're pissing me off.  It's not good for me.  So get out."

Archer sighed.  "And if I agree to take some leave?"

"Then you'll be showing some sense.  Finally.  And I won’t have any reason to still be mad."

"OK."  Archer surrendered.  "I'll take a couple of days."

"Like hell you will.  You're taking ten."

"Three."

"Nine."

"Four."

"Eight."

"Five."

"Seven.  And that's my final word on the subject."

"All right," Archer agreed.  "Seven days."

"And nights."

"Nights?  Whoa – I never agreed to nights!"

"Seven days and seven nights.  You're not coming back up here every night, undoing all the good the day's done."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine.  I'd imagine Phlox is going to want me to sleep a lot anyhow.  Plus, I have some thinking to do.”

“About what?”

Trip did not answer. 

Jon looked stricken.  “You can't tell me?  Or won’t?"

Trip looked up at his lover.  He was shocked; he'd never seen Jon look so vulnerable, so sad.  He realized then the tremendous power – and responsibility – he had.  He could really hurt Jon if he wanted to.  He couldn't bear the thought that Jon was hurting because of something he did.  He had to reassure him, and right now. 

He reached up, placed his hand on the back of Jon's neck, and pressed, bringing Jon's face down to the level of his own.  He lifted his head from the pillow, kissed him.  "You stupid bastard," he said affectionately, "It's not like that at all."

"You sure?"

Lightly, he tapped Jon on the nose.  "Positive.”

“But you still won’t tell me.”

“Not right now.  But soon.  I promise.  Now you go, and have a good time.  And when you come back home, I'll be waiting for you.  That's another promise."

"And we'll talk?"

"About anything you want, you bastard.  Anything at all."

Jon's relief was palpable.  "Okay."

Trip kissed him again.  "Good.  I'm glad we got that sorted."

"Just one thing?"

"What?"

"I'm going to call you.  Every day."

"I think I can live with that.  You going to take Porthos?"

"Of course.  Sickbay's no place for a dog."

"Of course.  And take lots of pictures, okay?"

"You bet. Just for you, my brat.  Just for you."

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