Confessions
Title: Confessions
Author: Beverly ([email protected])
Rating: G
Category: Slash (m/m)
Characters: Archer/Reed
Sequel to: Awakening
Disclaimer: As everybody knows...this two lovely figures aren�t mine. I just
�����������
borrowed them for a little time to have my fun with them. I�ll give
����������� them
back to their owners...I promise. And no...no money is made.
����������� It�s
just for the fun.
����������� And
lot�s of thank you, thank you, thank you to my beta-reader Mareel.
Summary: What
happened when Malcolm left sickbay...
Confessions
"I guess we
need to talk!"
"No good
conversation ever started with `we need to talk�."
"Then maybe
we can change that!"
Fragments of last
night. Reality? Fantasies? He didn�t know. He didn�t care.
Malcolm had left
sickbay just a few minutes ago. Though he had a direct order from Dr.Phlox to
go straight to his quarters, lie down again and rest for at least another 24
hours, he was walking straight to the armory.
He desperatly
needed the beneficial presence of his weapons systems where everthing was so
simple.
You hit a switch
and something goes caboom.
Simple.
Easy.
And exactly what
he longed for right now.
His innermost
feelings were in a terrible mess and he craved something reliable. Something
steady. Ignoring the beginnings of a headache, he entered the armory.
Five hours later
his headache became unbearable. He had gone over every single system in his
reach, run several simulations and tested at least four of the new phasers. Now
he felt worn out, hungry as a wolf, and deadly tired. His head hurt like hell
and his hands had begun to shake. He slowly rose from his kneeling position and
suddenly felt the world spin around him. He cursed silently and tried to steady
himself against the wall. Slowly, the world returned to it�s normal
orientation.
"Malc?"
Startled he
jumped and turned around, feeling a hand on his shoulder.
Worried blue eyes
were staring at him. Trip.
"Hey,
there."
Malcolm gave his
friend a tired smile.
"Shouldn�t
you be resting? You look terrible."
Trip laughed.
"Now that�s
a compliment I can easily return. The Cap�n sent me lookin� for ya."
Trip became
serious again.
"He
did?" Malcolm rubbed his neck in an unsuccessful attempt to ease his
headache.
"Yep.
Worries �bout you. Says you left sickbay hours ago and never made it up to your
quarters."
"Yes,
well...I..."
"Nah...no
excuses. C�me on...he wants to see you.�
On the way to the
turbolift, Trip glanced at Malcolm over his shoulder.
"Do you want to
change your clothes? I mean...before going to see Jon? We could stop by your
quarters...?�
Surprised,
Malcolm looked at his friend, walking next to him.
"Why should I
want that? Is it formal?�
"No, not really.�
Trip smiled lightly and continued.
"But let me tell
you, you really should go to bed early tonight. You DO look terrible.�
Before Malcolm
could reply, they arrived at the Captain�s quarters.
"Come in!�
The Captain
sounded cheerful when Trip hit the door switch. His friend patted Malcolm
lightly on the back and left for his own quarters as the door opened revealing
Malcolm�s presence to his Captain. Jon stood by the viewport, a glass of red
wine in his hand. He was out of uniform and wore a black shirt and black
skintight jeans. Malcolm could have easily gottten lost in that sight. Then his
eyes wandered from Jon to the laid table. Laid for two. Candles were lit,
spreading a warm glow. The lights were dimmed. Jon turned to him and smiled.
"Malcolm, come
in.�
Malcolm swallowed
hard and entered the room. He felt so foolish. He shouldn�t have come here.
Obviously the Captain was expecting someone for dinner. He should have gone to
his quarters just as Dr. Phlox had told him to do. He could be sleeping by now
or if not, he could at least pretend to be sleeping. And his head was killing
him.
"Captain Archer.
Sir, I�m sorry for interrupting. I really should go. You seem to be expecting
someone, sir.�
He dropped his
gaze to the floor and missed the tender smile that crept across Jon�s features.
Jon picked up a
second glass of wine and walked over� to the man who stood in his doorway.
He gently put the
glass under Malcolm�s chin lifting his head until the English man was looking
him in the eye.
"Yes, I was
indeed expecting someone. But not any longer. For that someone has just
arrived.�
Malcolm�s eyes
grew wide.
Jon laughed at
that and gave him the glass of wine. Then he raised his own and the glasses
clinked together softly.
"To the friends
we love.� Jon said with a sparkle in his eyes.
"To the friends
we love.� repeated Malcolm huskily.
"Come on. Let�s
honour Chef�s efforts to make this dinner.�
Jon gestured to
the table and they both sat down. Malcolm smiled when he saw the varieties of
food on the table.
"How many people
were you expecting, Captain?�
In an instant Jon
became serious again.
"Please, don�t do
that to me, Malcolm,� he said in a low voice.
"Don�t do what,
Sir?� Malcolm asked, bemused.
"That. I�m not
`Sir� in here or `Captain�. Do you remember last night? You called me Jon. And
I liked it.�
Malcolm smiled
his heartbreaking little smile.
"I�m sorry ...
Jon. I didn�t mean to hurt you.�
Jon�s face lit up
when he heard his name spoken with that beguiling English accent. Malcolm
noticed this change, and continued.
"I also remember
that you told me we needed to talk.�
If only he could
think clearly. His headache was becoming worse every second.
"Yes, we do. But
to be honest, I don�t know where to start.� Jon admitted.
"Last night in
sickbay...I want you to know that I meant every word I said.�
Lost in thought
he took Malcolms hand and softly stroked the back of it.
"I could have
lost you so easily. We wouldn�t be sitting here. We COULDN�T. And I...�
His voice broke
off. Malcolm realized what Jon didn�t dare to say. It had been a matter of
seconds...well not literally, but nearly. They had only had air left for
another 90 minutes.� And then...? Gone.
Jon still held
Malcolm�s hand in his own and this time Malcolm squeezed it gently.
"But I am here.
And you ARE here. Alive and healthy.�
It was still
nearly impossible for Malcolm to manage a clear thought but he had to know.
"Jon,
there...there is something I was wondering about all day. Last night, well, I
must have been a little confused from all the medication Dr. Phlox gave me. You
were there, weren�t you?�
Jon nodded, a
questioning look in his green eyes.
"And when I had
that...dream...you put your hands on my shoulders, right?�
Another nod.
"Did you...�
Malcolm�s voice trailed away and he felt himself blush furiously.
A� knowing look
appeared in Jon�s eyes, but he knew that now he had to let Malcolm take the
lead.
"Did I what?� he
asked calmly.
"...kiss me?�
Malcolm whispered, his voice barely audible.
There was a long
silence. Finally Jon nodded slowly.
"Yes, I did. And
as I said earlier, I meant everything I said AND did. Though it was a mistake.�
Malcolm�s head
snapped up and he wanted to withdraw his hand. But Jon tightend his grip.
"No, don�t. Let
me finish what I have to say. I don�t regret the kiss. On the contrary. But as
you said yourself, you were under medication. I took advantage of the
situation. I�m your superior officer. I should have waited till you were at
least awake. I just wasn�t sure if I ever would have the courage again.�
This time it was
Jon�s voice that became lower and lower.
Silence.
Malcolm felt the
pounding in his head slowly creep away. He raised his left hand and gently
stroked Jon�s cheek. With closed eyes Jon leaned into the touch.
"Is it permitted
for a subordinate to take ... advantage of a situation?� Malcolm asked quietly.
Jon nodded
without opening his eyes.
"Jon. Will you
look at me, please?�
Jon marvelled at
his words. Oh, that accent. It sent a shiver down his spine.
Reluctantly he
opened his eyes.
Malcolm�s face
was but a few inches away from his.
"Jon. You meant
what you said. You kissed me and you liked it. I liked it too. And there is
nothing on this ship right now that I would rather do than...than to kiss you
again.�
Without
hesitation he closed the gap between his captain and himself and kissed him
tenderly. Time froze and for one terrible second Malcolm feared� a total
misunderstanding. And then he felt Jon kissing him back. Softly, tenderly and
with an emotion that made him melt away. After what seemed an eternity he
withdraw a bit and looked him in the eyes.
And yawned.
Jon burst out in
laughter.
"Oh my god, you
must be deadly tired.�
Slowly Malcolm
nodded, but smiled with a wry smile.
"I believe a
coffee would do nicely now.�
"Sure! Good
idea.�
Jon jumped up and
poured two cups. He handed one to Malcolm and together they moved to the couch
in the corner.
They sat in
companionable silence, sipping the hot coffee. With a sigh Malcolm relaxed and
leaned back.
He was so tired.
His head was a little lighter now but far from being good. He closed his eyes.
Only for a second he told himself. He searched for Jon�s hand and held it to
his heart. He didn�t want to miss a single moment with Jon. It lasted exactly
eight seconds before Malcolm was in deep sleep.
Jon carefully
took his cup before it hit the floor. Then he put his arm around the man
sitting next to him and gently pulled him down so Malcolm was resting against
him.
Smiling he
watched the face of his armory officer. Dark circles under Malcolm�s eyes made
his face older. He frowned in sleep. Jon gently stroked over the forehead until
the younger man relaxed. He softly laid his hand on Malcolm�s chest and felt
the steady rhythm of the heart under his palm.
With a bright
smile Jon snuggled closer to Malcolm�s sleeping form and closed his own eyes as
well.
Yes, he thought
to himself, already drifting off into slumber, he could definitely get used to
this.
****
Read the sequel, Realisation