SMS Jokes

• Sardar comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine" He Write a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

• Santa : After my Death U marry Banta singh
  Wife : But Why ? He is Ur No.1 Enemy
  Santa : Darling this is the only way I can take revench with Banta

• How do you recognize a Sardar in School, he is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

• What is a advantage and disadvantage of Ravan. Advantage : He can sing in chorus. Disadvantage : He cannot wear a T-Shirt.

• Santa is writing a letter to his son. It goes like this, "Son, I know you can't read fast, so am writing this letter very slow."

• Father : Son, where is your report card.
  Son: My friend Akhil borrowed it to scare his father.

• Why did Ravan not go to Disco ? Because they told him Rs.1000 per head .

• Dad : What type of a Girl u want to marry ?
  Son : I want to marry a girl who is *Intelligent *Well-Studied *Obeys Parents *Good-Looking 
  Dad :Then u have to marry 4 times.

• Fellow 1 : My grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too. Fellow 2 : Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?" Fellow 1 : "A Judge told him."  

• Dialog between computer hardware engineer & manager, Engg. : Sir, you cannot use this printer right now because I don't have driver for it. Manager : Oh my driver is ideal sitting in car. you can use him.

• Man1 : Why is prime minister not seen in morning.
  Man2 : Because he is pm not am

• At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."  

• A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" to this the man replies,"oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, "wash basin".

• Robert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed ! Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ?? Ajeet: aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out likh do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!

• Once a Sardhar was  waking he had a gloves on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forcast announced that on one hand there would be cold and on the other hand there would be hot.

• Once a boy asked his father can he sign with closing his eyes his father said I think so I can so the boy said please your eyes and sign my report card.

• I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..

• One day a Sardar byes 2 tickets in bus. So conductor asks why are buying 2 tickets? Then Sardar tell "What can I do if 1st ticket will lost"? Then conductor ask him "What would you do if both tickets will lost?" Then Sardar answered him I have "Buss Pass" with me. 

• Osama song! (Inspired from Gadar) Main nikla, Jahaaz (plane) leke O raste mein Newyork mein ik mod aaya main Trade Tower tod aaya ... Rab jane kab guzra Newyork O Rab jaane kab Pentagon aaya main utthe Jahaaz phod aaya.

• Once a lazy man entered party hall and started to eat. A man beside him asked him to wash his hands before he spoil all the food. The lazy man answered lazily why to wash hands twice ?

• My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth.

• One Sardar go to Kaun Banega Crorepati. Amitabh said first introductory question. 'what is your father name?' Sardar misunderstanding and said 'Amitabhji please give me a four option'. 

• Chintu match dekte samay, Raju aya, wo bola kya dekha raha rai. chintu bola match to raju bola abhi kaya hoga, chintu bola abhi four marega, abhi, abhi one run nikalega, abhi, abhi, our ek four abhi kya hoga chintu. Abhi wide ball hoga. abhi, abhi out hoga. chintu tuze kese malum? are yaar ye highlight ye!!!!@@@ 

• An American and a Sardar were walking down the street when the American exclaimed-- look a dead bird. The Sardar looks towards the sky and says -- where, where ???

• Life is one joke .love is more dangerous joke than thi s...hello  means.... h...have u miss me e...everything is airight l....like to see you l....like to talk to you o....obviously i miss u so always wanna sayas"hello"  

• Algebra: A weapon of math destruction.

• Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

• Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun 
  Lady : here take it 
  Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. 
  Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse  

• What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

• The young lady said to Grandpa, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you've learned to put your hand in front of your mouth." "Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else can I catch my teeth???"  

• A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."

• Santo : Banto, You are looking different today.
  Banto : Yes, Doctor has asked me to loose some weight.
  Santo : So have you lost.
  Banto : Yes, I have stop putting my make up.

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

• Baker (to a lady customer) : Madam, shall I cut the cake into 6 or 12 pieces.
  Lady : No, cut it into 4 pieces only. I am on dieting.

• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

• "We should always call Daddy, Dad and Mummy, Mom" teacher said.
  "Then I will call you Mad, the shot form for Madam." student said.

• Man : "Where do you want to go for our Anniversary ?"
  Wife : "Somewhere I have never been !"
  Man : "How about the kitchen ?"

• A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" 
  And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

• The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

• A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." 
  "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. 
  The woman replied, "A billionaire."

• God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

• The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why" she asked "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

• Teacher : Where does God live.
  Sunny : Teacher God lives in my bathroom.
  Teacher : How can you say that.
  Sunny : Because every morning when I am in the bathroom, my mother bangs the door and says "Oh god you are still in there".

• Teacher : Rahul tell me two nouns.
  Rahul : Who ? Me ?
  Teacher : Very Good. Sit down.

• A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says "
  Hello, how did you know I was here?"

• Rakesh : What would happen to fishes if sea catches fire.
  Rohit : They will climb tree
  Rakesh : Have u gone mad, they are not cows and buffaloes which will climb trees.

• Mother : John, how did you given your exam ?
  John : I left one question only.
  Mother : Why ?
  John : I thought and thought, but couldn't write the Ppast Tense of  'Think'.

• Two's company, three's a crowd but what is four and five? Nine.

• What r the 3 fastest ways of communication?
  a) Telephone
  b) Television
  c) Tell-a woman

• Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

• In a class room when teacher is teaching a lesson, one sarharji was in a good sleep making a sound. When madam asked who is that making sounds.. Sardarji shouted "I am the one".....

• Boss: I told u to tear the newspaper into small pieces..
  Servant: Yes boss.. (after tearing the newspaper into small pieces boss said to the servant)
  Boss: Join them n make it as it was. I'll come home in the evening to read it............ 

• Sardarji and suicide? Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. somebody stops him and asks -kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?- Sardarji replies -saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun.

SMS FOR FRIENDS

• Messages are given to 
  Those who are apart
  But what shall I give
  When you are in my heart.

• Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well... enough about me! how about you?

• If u need a friend and there r hundred steps between us, u can take the 1st step to get near me & i'll take 99 step to be with you

• Money: can buy a house, but not a home. can buy a clock, but not time. can buy sex, but not love. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 u

• If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ...........the subscriber cannot be reached pls dont call again.

• U've got sex appeal ... u've got intelligence ... u've got class ... u got da face, u got da body ... I got the wrong number ... sorry

• I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. u cry, i cry. u laugh.. i laugh. u jump out of d window.. I look down & I laugh again.. haha

• 6 rules to be happy: free your heart from hatred; free your mind from worries; live simply; expect less; give more & always have me as ur friend

• True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere

• Friendship isn't how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u uinderstand, not what u see but how u feel, and not how u let go but how u hold on!!

• Friendship is a priceless gift that cant be bought or sold, but to have an understandings friend is far more worth than gold ~!

• Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets Better as it grows older. Just like us... I get better, u get older.

• Friendship is like a tree... It is not measured on how tall it could be, but is on how deep the roots have grown....

• We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry, no brain found

• Without humor, life sux. 
  Without courage, life is hard. 
  Without love, life is hopeless. 
  Without friends like you, life is impossible.

• A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

• In this world, where everything seems uncertain, only one thing is definite. You'll always be my friend, beyond words, beyond time & beyond distance!

• I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.

• Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

• A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

• A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.

• Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you...

• a- u r attractive
  b- u r beautiful
  c- u r caring
  d- u r delicous
  e- u r exciting
  f- u r funny
  g- u r gorgeous
  h- u r heavenly
  I- I m
  J- Just
  K-Kidding

• True love is like god, which everybody talks about and few have seen

• It is not being in love that makes me happy... but is being in love with you that makes me happy

• God is so wise that he never created friends with pricetags, Because..... if he did, I can't afford a precious friend like you!!!

• Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart

• The value of life does not depend on the length of time on this earth but rather on the amount of love given and shared to the people we care about

• Love is when you don't want to go to sleep, because reality is better than a dream

• Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... coz I found love when I found u.

• It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone

• Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself

• Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending

• You need money to call someone honey

• Love : Loss Of Valuable Energy
  

• Last night I hugged my pillow and dreamt of you... I wish that someday I'd dream about my pillow and I'd be hugging you.

• Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend.

• Don't cry for someone who don't worth while; the one who is worth, wouldn't make one cries.

• A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

• Two snakes meet each other..
  First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
  Second snake:Why?
  First snake:Because I bit my lip!    

• How do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!

• At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this sms

• Hey, is your dad a terrorist? cos baby, you're the bomb!

SMS Question-Answers