2:15 pm it's funny, but I mean it when I say that I'm not angry any more…I was then, believe me…I couldn't think straight…I wanted to scream and punch and kick…I felt like a child…a child having a temper tantrum…but with a lot more rage…pure and simple rage…I don't know if I'd felt rage like that before…sure, I've been angry before, I'd even been angry at you before…but not like I was last spring…because last spring that anger was muddled down with hurt, such extreme hurt, and confusion, and helplessness…I didn't know what hit me…and it's true, most of those emotions that I thought would never go away have faded…the anger is gone…and the rage worked it's way out in a number of ways…and the rest of it, well, it's still there, but it's faded, too…it's gotten a bit brown around the edges, curled up from too much exposure…and, frankly, I was getting tired of holding on to all of that negativity…besides, things are okay now…and all of that is now being replaced by new, better times that we're still having together….not together as we were, of course, but, like I said, it's all okay…when you're in a relationship- a serious, intense, sometimes co-dependent relationship, it's hard to see your partner as having a self outside of you…the term "partner," after all, connotes, well, togetherness…but it was too much, and that is why it was so hard for me to see that she needed something different, something more than what I was giving…and now, with the proper perspective that is so necessary in these situations, I understand…………back to ramblings
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