07/20/01
4:22 pm I am Friday afternoons at 4:30�I am a huge lack of motivation�I am an almost wide-open weekend and the possibilities that come with it�I am a possible not-really-but-perhaps-maybe-date and plans to clean my apartment�I am subtle, underlying homophobia�I am forgetting that we are, after all, from Iowa�I am the effort they make, and the double-standards they think I�m ridiculous for bringing up�I am okay being gay only when they don�t have to actually see me being gay�I am assumed to accompany them to straight bars, yet I am on my own if I want to visit anyplace with a rainbow sticker on the front door�I am meeting the coolest people�I am renewed and refreshed�I am the green mountains�I am the giant swing�I am wishing that I could just be, without someone trying to make me feel guilty for doing what it is that I want to be doing�I am food co-ops and buying in bulk, even though I�m shopping just for me�I am experimenting with color photography and not as happy as I am with my black and white�I am clear rivers and brooks and itchy green grass�I am sweaters in the summer�I am flying across the country only to fly back a day and a half later�I am money-hoarding�I am pretty much broke�I am wondering when it is that I�ll actually be able to fly home�I am braless�I am shoeless�I am running and running and running but my body isn�t really changing too much�I am not so hungry, not so tired, and not so sad anymore�I am an overwhelming feeling of openness, of freedom, of anything being possible�I am ready to take action�I am getting in to local politics�I am psyched to fight a fight, any fight, really, that has nothing to do with who I am or what has happened to me�I am wearing pink today�
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