2:11 PM I just got back from a business trip to Tucson, Arizona�there is nothing more depressing than coming home to a place that you no longer want to call home�especially after being somewhere as magical as tucson�luckily, I was able to have a little play time during my four-day stay�each night, after we were done with our meetings, I would quickly run to my room and shred my suit (usually leaving it in a crumpled pile on the floor), change into a tee-shirt and some shorts, grab my walkman and take off to hike along the "river" by the hotel�I say "river" because it wasn't what I would typically think of a river as being-it was empty, dry, full of brown bushes and rocks and sand�and home to jack rabbits, coyotes and bob cats�it was beautiful�and so quiet�I could hear nothing but the squeaking of birds, the rustle and crunch of leaves, branches, flowers�it almost reminded me of fall in Iowa - almost� but it was different�I felt as ease with myself, with the rhythm my feet had taken in walking across the bumpy terrain, with the way my mind slowed down and allowed me to put things into perspective�having time like that - walking, thinking time - is like a drug�I need it, I thrive on it�it's only when I have that time to slow down that I realize how much I've got on my mind�and how important it is for me to be able to sort through it all�I did a lot of that while I was in tucson�sorting through things�thinking through things�realizing what is best for me, and me alone�and I feel good about that�I feel like I know what I want, and I know how to get there�I feel like I've gotten a lot harder in places I may have been too soft, and, perhaps, softer in places I may have been too hard�I feel a lot more comfortable with certain qualities, and a lot less apologetic of others�on a more concrete note - I may be moving to tucson�not totally because I loved the four days I spent there, or because I felt relaxed and centered in that area�not totally because the mountains were something out of a dream, or because the cost of living is really low�not totally because I've got a couple of friends there, or because the place seemed to be crawling with lesbians�not totally because of the amazing job opportunity I will be pursuing if things happen to go that way�I may be moving to tucson because it seems right�my gut is telling me to do it�and, instead of blindly trusting that instinct, I took the time while I was there to find the practical reasons I needed to back it up�we'll see, but it seems too good to let alone�I've got nothing to lose in opening this door�