vAleNTinEs dAy
2:15 pm I am red�I am happy�I am valentine's day without a valentine and quite content in that fact�I am treat-day at the office and the way the women swarm the table and make comments like, "oh-it's a holiday! I can be bad today!"�I am hoping that I never, ever, ever turn into that kind of woman�I am short-stories that make such sense to me it brings tears to my eyes�I am learning to live without my right arm, in a manner of speaking�I am learning to live without a crutch�I am learning to live, and to enjoy living just being me�I am taking back control�I am making my voice stronger, louder, less apologetic�I am less apologetic�I am trying to unlearn shame, and guilt and feeling sorry, especially for myself�I am realizing that I can't undo something that's been done, but that I can build something new�something different, something bigger, something-maybe-better�I am my own two feet and my tiny hands�I am my own body and the way that it doesn't own me�I am trying to love it, even if it gets bigger, even if it changes shape, even if it grows weak from time to time�I am my unplucked eyebrows, and the crows feet that I can see forming already at the corners of my eyes�I am my laugh-lines, and my smile spot�I am my naked face, the chicken-pock scar between my eyes, the six holes in my ears-five of which remain unfilled�I am my wrists-the most delicate looking part of my body, and the freckle on my left wrist bone�I am my pointy elbows�I am my soft stomach and strong legs�I am my knowing, yet always questioning mind�I am my thoughts-my hunger, my thirst, my need for comfort and human touch�I am learning to fly�I am learning to walk�I am learning to crawl�I am learning�I am validating myself�I am searching for my own hands to hold�I am looking at me�here I am�
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