One of the advantages of being a medic is the automatic access to the most outstanding real-life situations that is part and parcel of the day-to-day care of sick people. I feel lucky to be involved with human life so deeply and some of these experiences have spilled over as poetry. I present here some of my medical poems which I hope everybody will enjoy reading, even those not connected to the medical world.
CANCER
There is pain
In her eyes
And a deep
Sadness
A silent tear,
An anguished whisper
"Are you sure doctor?"
I nod in silence.
In a flash
There is panic
Her voice breaks
"Oh why did I smoke?
What shall I do?"
I speak softly
Of treatment options,
The strength of the mind
And prayer.
As she leaves
There is a light
In those eyes.
A weak smile,
Then
With firm strides
She steps into
The night.
I LOVE MY BABY
As we are all aware, life as a junior doctor in a busy job can be tough. If both husband and wife are junior doctors in busy jobs it gets tougher. When, on top of this, they have a baby to look after with no other family around, the situation can be near extreme. My wife and I were in that situation 3 years ago. I only have confused memories of those days but do remember feeling quite emotional at times. While rummaging through the drawers recently I discovered a poem I had written at the time that expresses feelings that we medics often have at some stage of our career. It is called "I Love My Baby" and appears below.
The rude screeching alarm
Interrupts a pleasant dream,
"Damn it, I'm late."
I quickly brush and shave,
Grab some breakfast
And jump into the car.
No time to kiss my little one
Deep in sweet slumber.
I love my baby.
In the middle of the ward-round
The cardiac arrest bleep goes off.
'Adrenaline please, continue CPR;
It's VF now! C'mon, shock at 360.
We have been going 30 minutes,
No pulse. Check again.
Okay stop resus. All agreed.'
I love my baby.
It is a busy clinic
Interrupted by several bleeps.
'You are fine ma'am
See you again in a year.
Monica, could you ring for this
Blood result please.
Doctor Banerjee, the clinic
Is running behind by an hour.'
I love my baby.
Stuck in the traffic
On the radio the latest
On the Cossovo war
Three American soldiers abducted
More than 600,000 Albanians flee
Memories of previous wars
Sit heavy on the heart.
I love my baby.
8.30
He sinks into slumber
His head on my shoulder
As I sway softly
To his favourite music.
I feel his soft heart
Thumping on my chest.
I love my baby.
TAKE CONTROL
Natasha, take control.
Your life is flowing by
Busy, busy, busy, you cry
No time to live or die
Take control.
Have you seen yourself in the mirror ?
Your belly is growing like your rear
Get your running shoes out, my dear
Take control.
What is it you eat always?
If you smoke you are counting your days
Better hurry up and mend your ways
Take control.
Girl, your health is an asset
For God's sake, don't mess it
You are hurtling downhill, stop it
Take control.
DIARRHOEA
If there is one thing I fear
While travelling far and near
It is developing diarrhoea
With an accompanying sore posterior.
Shigella, salmonella and campylobacter
The tummy grumbling like a tractor
Groan, splutter, bang and whoosh
I am still in the toilet. Don't push.
FAULTY BRAIN
The other day I had chest pain
All day I rang the doctor in vain
Finally I went to casualty
But their ECG machine was faulty
So they gave me a scan of the brain.
GOOD DEAL
Have you heard of nice Mr Neil
Who had a lipoma on his heel
When, privately, he had it removed
His hip also needed to be screwed
But he thought it was a good deal.
RAIN
There was an old man called Mr Peel
Who had a huge hydrocele
When he had it drained
It poured and it rained
Peel said,"hey what a lovely feel".
CELEBRATION
One day
While outside,
There is sunshine and laughter still
On some nameless hospital bed
My life will fade away.
My soul
Will burst into freedom
Flying at blinding speed
Into a tunnel
Of brilliant white and gold
Eager to be united
With the creator.
On the ward
The cardiac arrest bleep
Is screaming;
Doctors huddled around the bed
Pumping and pushing
The battered chest.
Adrenaline, adrenaline
Is the chant
While I smile
In quiet celebration
And pray
For the dignity
Of my old body.
Later at home
There are tears
Phone calls
"Dad was a good man."
I want to say no!
Don't cry for me.
Today is my day
Of freedom.
Yet, I shall miss you all
And especially
The wonderful world.
HEART ATTACK
I hear drumbeats
In the distance.
Cholesterol and platelets are preparing for war
Nicotine missiles
Are firing still.
Damn. We are
Running out of insulin
There's too much pressure guys
Hurry please hurry
I can hear drumbeats in the distance...
Blinding pain
My eyes are glazed sheets
My chest is an inferno.
"It is an attack, sir.
Has anyone in your family...
Smoke...exercise...diet..."
Injection.
I swim about
In space
Don't want an attack
No war please
Please.
VF ON THE WARD
Vision fades
Eyes roll
Alarm screams
Scattered bowl.
Running feet
Heads meet
Bedside shout
There's no doubt.
It's VF. VF !
Thump. Shock. Shock.
Back in sinus and holding
Steady as a rock.
Resp effort is poor
Pulse slowing...very slow
She is slipping again
Go, go, go.
Intubate man
Atropine is in
Start CPR again
We are not winning.
Relatives huddled in a room
Fearful eyes waiting
"We have tried our best
Doesn't seem to be working".
I walk back to the bed
Where the team struggles on
Flat line on the monitor
She is well and truly gone.
With a heavy heart I say
"Team, it is time to stop
Take all the lines out, please
Pull the sheet over the top."
TAKE MY HAND
So what if
I have cancer
I can beat it
If you take my hand
I know I can
Crush those crazy cells
Drive them hard
Into the sand.
When chemo and radiotherapy
Drain away all my energy
I will still be able to smile back
If you flash a smile at me
While blinding pain knifes through me
Filling my eyes with tears
I will totally ignore it
If you say �three cheers�
Most of all I need your help
When I look in the mirror
Those hollow eyes, a hairless head
That look of despair and fear
If you kiss my cheek
I�ll know you love me pure
Your support means everything to me
Even if there is no cure.
INDIGESTION
When the pain came I knew it was bad news
Too much curry, tandoori chicken, cheesecake on top
All night the chest burned, flaming wind escaping at either end
The insides churned, raged and howled as if caught in a bloody war
Restless, I screamed �indigestion� on the phone to my GP
�Call an ambulance,� he advised.
At the hospital they did many tests
Apparently the ECGs were ok but one blood test not quite
A coronary angiogram will provide the answer, they said
Three days and a cancellation later the test was done!
The chest pain, with antacids, had long disappeared
But now the groin was an inferno of blinding pain
A throbbing bruised battlefield of black and red
�It�s a psuedoaneurysm sir, a tiny complication of the procedure,
Don�t worry, we�ll sort it, we are doing our best.�
In the confusion I had forgotten to ask what was found
The Registrar came up with a grim face after a long wait
There was a narrowing in a heart artery but not very tight
Further assessment was needed with IVUS and PRESSURE WIRE;
The story hadn�t ended yet.
Two weeks later I was released home
The narrowing in the artery was not a problem after all
The night before discharge they asked me what I had for dinner
Prior to the chest pain, whether I had burped
Then prescribed a bottle of Gaviscon from the supermarket!
WAKE UP CALL
Frequent cheeseburgers and chips
Makes you heavy at the hips
Repeated doses of vindaloo
Sticks to your arteries like glue
Thick bars of sweet
With a drink to match
Might propel you into
The diabetic patch
Smoking is sin, fats taboo
Yes, it's you I am talking to.
FRUIT AND VEGETABLES
I have always been in the quest of God
Only last Wednesday, though, I got his nod
Firing through space past several galaxies
Many light years away from our sun and seas
My journey ended on a spectacular land
As if created by a magical hand
The sky was orange, no sun to be seen
Animals and birds milled in pastures green
There was music and fragrance in the air
As I gazed in awe I spotted God in his chair.
He held the chair hard, his knuckles white
(If he didn�t he would fly like a kite)
The gravity on this planet was quite soft
�Hope your journey was comfy,� he said, and coughed
I nodded while inspecting this great superman
He was handsome and lean with a healthy tan
He looked so young and fresh and evergreen
That I couldn�t resist bringing a question in,
�What is the secret of your youth God?
And this garden fresh health,�
�Fruit and veg my boy,� he said,
�Is behind all my wealth�
With that his face dazzled in a brilliant smile
Since then I haven�t seen him for a while.
I HAVE HEART FAILURE
My face turned blue!
My eyes black,
When the doctor explained
I have a lack
Of strength in the muscles
Of my beating heart
�Heart failure�, he called it
It hit me like a dart.
There was damage done
To my heart
But I was determined to make
A fresh start
I sat down with a pen
And chalked out a plan
That�s when I believe
My recovery began.
I read all there was
About the condition,
Surfed the internet until
There was clarity of vision.
It was clear that pills
Are now the mainstay
But the future is bright
Research leading the way.
I stuck to my pills
Never missing a dose
Side-effects came along
Adding to my woes;
I was resolved though
Not to give in
Fight it, I would
Until I win.
I checked my weight
Every day of the week
Daily walked half a mile
Felt my condition peak;
Plenty of support came
From the hospital staff
I was happy as ever
Often having a laugh.
That feeling has remained
Over many years
I still enjoy
The occasional beers,
To my friends I say
Let�s get together
Make our minds one
Fight this forever;
It�s a common disease
With a decent solution
If we team up
The battle is won.
Let�s spread the word
That we are coming
To beat the odds
To dance and sing
To remind all
That life is pure
And that prevention
Is better than cure.
MAYHEM
On a crazy Monday in the month of May
Everything changed in a bizarre way.
The heart stopped pulsing
The spleen pumped blood!
The liver made urine
Was all aflood.
The gut did the breathing,
Kidneys made stool
The brain was covered
In cotton wool.
The bones had a dance
In the moonlight!
While sarcomeres and neurons
Engaged in a fight.
There was music in the nose
Throughout the day
On that crazy Monday.
CUSTODIAN
Even in the stillness
Of death
I can�t disown you.
For twenty long years
Of your life
You made me
The custodian of your
Precious health.
Through all doubts and difficulties
You trusted me still.
Today
As you lie silent
Before me
The time has come
To ask the question
Have I served you well?
Has our relationship
Been
A success story?
A SLIGHT COMPLICATION OF ANGIOPLASTY
In my dream
I heard me scream
While doing a CTO
As the stent slipped off
The balloon as I coughed
And the wire made a bow
I put a buddy wire down
Knowing the surgeon�s out of town
And tried to trap the stent with a snare;
But the vessel went hazy
Making me lazy
All I could do was stare!
For next two hours
Using all my powers
I stented from top to toe
The final result was great
But the vessel wasn�t straight
And the ST segments went up so.
A MAIL OF COMPLAINT FROM HEAVEN
I e-mailed you
my life
when I sent you
my history, x-rays, angiogram.
I paid your fees
in full, on the internet
via a secure server.
Why you ignored my mail
I would like to know.
You kept me waiting�
waiting until
my heart stopped and
I couldn�t breathe
I couldn�t breathe.
They told me you were the best
Cyber Cardiologist in the world.
Why then do I see
(when I play back the events
of the day
on Heaven�s DVD collection)
that you opened my mail,
saw I had paid;
but instead of opening
the attachments
turned away to play
on your playstation
a newly released lasergame
of Starwars episode sixteen?
I often watch that recording
over and over again
wondering what might have been
if you were more professional.
MIND POWER
If you ask me
About
The body�s real muscles
I believe
It is the mind.
Dormant power
That can cure,
Heal, withstand
Stealthy hurricanes that
Shake and shock
The peace
Of a healthy body.
I believe
That if there is magic
It is locked
In these sinewy muscles
That can fight
Tooth and nail
Against the deadliest
Disease
Even when expert help
Seems hopeless.
My salute
To those giant minds
That
Don�t give in easy
Forever
Breathing laughter and
Leaving
Lasting memories.
WORLD CUP 2006
This year
There are two new teams
In the fray,
They have already
Made headlines, especially
Mooney and Phil Gray.
The �NHS Tigers� bought Mooney
For a cool three million
On Gray
�MRSA & C.Diff United�
Spent just one.
On Friday the two teams
Played one another
The atmosphere was tense
Hot the weather;
At half time
The score was nil-nil,
Come end of extra time
And no goals still.
�NHS Tigers� finally won
In the penalty shootout
The air was riddled
With the �NHS� shout.
Mooney was a hero
Fans went mad over him
Just a team effort, he said
We are a great team.
PRIMARY ANGIOPLASTY(PATIENT)
Like a nuclear explosion
It went on
And on
Blowing my heart
To smithereens.
Raging inferno
In the chest,
Arms like lead,
Sweat on my palms
Sweat in my hair
Gushy waves of sickness
Thundered through my body.
My mind was screaming
Into a black hole,
A sea of pain and more pain;
There were distant voices...
�STEMI�air ambulance is best�
Phone the cath lab��
Someone was doing something to my arm.
I felt a sudden sweetness
Sweeping my body,
My mind was calmer
And drowsy�floating away�
�You are having a heart attack sir. We
need to open the blocked heart artery.
Could you sign on that line?�
They were shaking my shoulders
hard. I scribbled
in a haze of drowsiness and pain.
I remember being rushed
On a trolley
A blur of
Banging doors
Then silence and
The intense cold
In the lab.
Crisp commands slashing the silence,
�Start the Reopro please.
I will have a 2.5 by 15 balloon.�
The voice was strong and confident.
What was he asking for
next? A daxus?
Suddenly the pain was
Gone.
Relief was flooding in
And fatigue�extreme fatigue.
PRIMARY ANGIOPLASTY(DOCTOR)
Sarah�s cheerful face
Popped through the cath lab door,
�There�s an inferior MI in A&E
34 year old man. Other lab is busy.�
I had just finished angiosealing
The last double vessel PCI;
�Ready when you are Sarah,� I smiled.
�Primaries are always a pleasure.�
In four minutes our man was wheeled
in, slightly drowsy but still in pain.
I speak calmly to him, then
Check the consent form.
�Start the Reopro please. We�ll go femoral.�
As expected the right coronary artery
Is occluded with thrombus.
As I pass a BMW wire
There�s TIMI 2 flow.
�I�ll have a 2.5 by 15 balloon,� I say
To my assistant. The balloon inflation
Restores flow completely.
�Can I have a 3 by 16 Taxus please?� I
Ask again. The final result after
stent deployment is excellent.
The tombstone ST elevation
on the ECG has settled.
Our patient is blissfully asleep.
Satisfied, I take the
angioseal shot.