("Neocon" opening.)
Skippy: MECCA has come to Lexington, Kentucky, and please join us as we present Go Time right here on FSN! I'm Dav... er, Skippy, along with Dick Broccoli, and tonight will be very different from the normal Go Time, because as per the stipulation last week, David Caldwell will be running things this week.
Dick: And of course that means we have no main event to announce at the moment or any other matches, for that matter. We don't even know if the Women's World Cup is continuing tonight!
Skippy: We do know that we'll hear from the Ladies' Champion Shadow, and that's about all we've heard, really.
("Afternoon Delight" hits and David Caldwell makes his way to the ring.)
Skippy: Maybe Caldwell will shed some light on what he has in store for tonight.
Dick: He's got two shows over the next four weeks to prove to the board of directors that he should be made permanent booker of Go Time.
Caldwell: Welcome one and all to David Caldwell Sports Entertainment! That's right, I'm running the show tonight. Me, the guy that started out as a referee, then became an accomplished manager, backstage prop, talk segment host and finally co-owner of this organization has risen through the ranks and overcome adversity the likes of which you can't even imagine, all building to this day. Because when my episodes of Go Time outdo Katie Piehl's in the ratings, the board of directors is truly going to see who has their finger on the pulse of what the fans want. Unfortunately, I have to start out with some bad news. Due to the clauses of the contracts that went out all over the world to the participants in the Women's World Cup, the first matches of the second round of the upper brackets will take place tonight. But it's not all bad, as the Initial Starlet of MECCA Zoe Alexander will be competing later, and she's going to win this tournament and prove what a farce it really is. Because the fans did not pay to see women do anything other than strip down, roll around in mud, maybe some feathers, and confirm the heterosexuality of all you idiots out there while the men do all the real work. Tonight...
("Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweickart makes her way to the ring.)
Skippy: You know Kelly Schweickart didn't appreciate that last comment, and since Caldwell's out here alone, what better time than to give him a piece of her mind?
Dick: Like most serious female wrestlers, Kelly resents the label of eye candy that most female competitors get, and don't forget that she was bumped out of the Women's World Cup in favor of the David Caldwell Project's Zoe Alexander.
(Kelly gets a mic.)
Kelly: Caldwell, I cannot speak for every woman in the back, but for one, I am sick and tired of you disparaging women's wrestling and undermining everything we've been trying to build here in MECCA. Hey, up here.
(Caldwell averts his gaze from her chest and looks her in the face.)
Kelly: A month ago, I made an appeal to Katie to be in the Women's World Cup, because I truly feel that I'm one of the best that the United States has to offer. And three weeks ago, I was told that I would have been one of the US participants, but you pulled a power play and shoehorned your own ally Zoe Alexander into the tournament, robbing me of my spot. And you're going to make it up to me right now, because I'm finally ready to be the MECCA Ladies' Champion and I want a title shot at Shadow. And I want it tonight!
Caldwell: Well, you are correct about one thing, Kelly. I did get Zoe into this tournament because it is she who is one of the US Best, not you. I could not let the David Caldwell Project go unrepresented, even if this tournament is a stupid idea. And you come out here demanding a shot at Shadow? I can give that to you... but not tonight. But I can give it to you in two weeks when I'm running the show again. Exactly how far are you willing to go to get it?
Kelly: You're sick. I could sue you for sexual harassment...
Caldwell: Relax, I'm not talking about that.
Skippy: Yeah, now he's not.
Caldwell: You seem to be up in arms over this whole women as eye candy thing, and you are one of the many MECCA veterans who refused to participate in the Bikini Quest. So if I do something for you, you have to do something for me. To counteract all of this World Cup nonsense tonight, I'm booking the Project's very own Medea Knight in a Stuffed Animal Negligee War. If you were to face her and win, I'll give you that title shot.
Kelly: Stuffed Animal Negligee War? I should be disgusted and appalled, but honestly, I have no idea what that is. But if that's what needs to be done, as horrifying as it sounds, that's how badly I want this title match. Tell your girl Medea I'll see her in the ring later.
(Kelly throws the mic down and leaves.)
Caldwell: Good, that takes care of one broad. Now, onto tonight. I've got big plans, and it'll take a while to explain them...
("Filthy/Gorgeous" hits and Cheesecake makes his way to the ring.)
Skippy: What's going on now? This is the second time Caldwell's been interrupted, and it's by Cheesecake?
Dick: I don't know what he's doing, but any interruption of David Caldwell is well worth it, no matter who comes out.
(Cheesecake picks up Kelly's mic.)
Cheesecake: Caldwell, I'm out here to let you take advantage of the opportunity of a lifetime. You th'ee, under the regime of Katie Piehl, I haven't gotten a good opportunity in month'th, and I think you and I can help each other. There i'th no one more entertaining, more charismatic than the mighty Chee'th'cake! I want the chance to join your great organization, if you can promi'th me that I'll get prime opportunities once you're firmly entrenched in power and I'm firmly entrenched in your... stable.
Caldwell: Cheesecake, the reason I have never contacted you about joining the David Caldwell Project is because you're still the same guy I warred with in RCW then in MECCA. Unlike your former partner, who showed some potential, you're nothing but a waste. You say you're going after big opportunities, but you do nothing to earn them. You are nothing but a loser, and you have no place in my organization. Now get the hell out of my ring!
(Cheesecake smacks Caldwell in the face and storms out of the ring, as Caldwell has a fit.)
Skippy: Caldwell just read Cheesecake the riot act and got clocked for it, and the fans actually seem to find a new appreciation for Cheesecake.
Caldwell: No one disrespects me like that, especially on my time! You want an opportunity? Here's an opportunity to save your job! You've been on the losing end so much in recent months that I'm perfectly within my rights to do this. You will go one on one with your former partner Huh, and I will gladly put his future on the line to get rid of you. Because the loser of this match will be fired from MECCA. There you go, Cheesecake, let's see who's right.
Skippy: Huh vs. Cheesecake later tonight, and the loser leaves MECCA! That should be interesting, no matter what the result. We have to take a break, fans, but when we come back the second round of the Women's World Cup begins!
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "What You Waiting For" hits and LuFisto makes her way to the ring.)
Skippy: We're back, and the First Lady of Hardcore, representing Canada, is getting ready for her next step in the Women's World Cup.
Dick: LuFisto really needs this win for the pride of her country after her fellow countrywoman Gail Kim lost in the first round.
("Sensi" hits and Daizee Haze makes her way to the ring.)
Skippy: Daizee got to the second round with a victory over Japan's Sumie Sakai, and now she's faced with someone from another great wrestling country, Canada.
Dick: Both of these women have history in a MECCA ring, so there are no debut jitters in this one. The best woman will truly rise to the top.
(FINISH: LuFisto locks in LuFisto's Law, but Daizee makes it to the ropes. LuFisto whips her into the corner, and then whips her into the opposite corner. She signals for one more and then whips Daizee and charges. Daizee sits on the top rope and takes LuFisto over with a sunset flip for two. LuFisto gets up and rolls Daizee up with an inside cradle for two, but Daizee reverses and pins LuFisto's shoulders to the mat for a three count.)
Winner: Daizee Haze
Skippy: Daizee Haze moves on in the Women's World Cup, and now LuFisto has one last chance, as she drops to one of the Triangle Matches in the lower brackets.
Dick: Great victory by the Haze, and we have one more second round match tonight later on as Zoe Alexander takes on Rebecca Knox.
(Backstage, Eddie Crowe is sitting on a bench in the locker room, unlacing his boots when Alan Mayse comes up.)
Alan: This is just great, huh? We report to work, ready to wrestle, and Caldwell tells us he has no need of us tonight.
Eddie: Yeah, it's a real drag. I really wanted some payback for last week.
Alan: It's not all bad, though. I just found out that I placed first in MECCA for 2006 win/loss records. That means that next week I get a shot at your belt, Eddie.
Eddie: Really? Well, good luck with that, because guess who placed second? That's right, me. Which means next week I get a shot at that belt.
Alan: So whose title is going to be on the line then?
Eddie: I think it should be yours, Mr. "I'm better than the World Title because my belt is defended against anyone."
Alan: No way, I've worked way too long to get another World Title shot to pass this up. Your belt's the one on the line, or are you really going to let a so-called "secondary" title headline the show? Besides, I placed first, so I should get to decide.
(Eddie stands up and looks Alan in the eye.)
Eddie: You're belt's a pretender, and you know it. And I knew you placed first, and I've already talked to Katie about it, but she isn't talking yet. So we'll just have to wait and see just who gets the opportunity to become first triple crown champion.
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Afternoon Delight" is playing, and Medea Knight is in the ring in her negligee. The ring has red, fuzzy carpet and has a big bed in the middle, and is filled with pillows and stuffed animals. Caldwell is sitting at ringside in a Playboy-esque robe, drinking wine and having a good time.)
Skippy: We're back, and our ring crew set up this bizarre arrangement during the commercial break, and I guess we're going to see this Stuffed Animal Negligee War or whatever.
Dick: Is this how Caldwell wants to portray women in MECCA? I can't say it's an unattractive setup, but seriously Caldwell, get a girlfriend.
("Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweicakrt reluctantly makes her way to the ring, also in a negligee.)
Skippy: Kelly isn't too happy about being in this, but she wants a shot at Shadow's Ladies' Title, and stated that she would do anything to get it.
Dick: If she wins tonight, she gets the match on Go Time in two weeks, but you know she has to be questioning if this is really worth it right now.
(Kelly yells down at Caldwell, asking him what the rules for this match are, but Caldwell waves her off and calls for the bell to ring.)
(FINISH: Medea and Kelly hit each other with pillows and stuffed animals for a couple of minutes, but finally Kelly becomes disgusted with the entire thing and nails Medea with a spinning heel kick. She throws down her pillow and storms out of the ring and to the back. Caldwell gets in the ring and raises Medea's hand.)
Winner: Medea Knight
Skippy: I don't know what the hell that was besides a waste of time, but apparently Medea has won this match by default.
Dick: It was a little to demeaning for Kelly, who got in a good shot and took off, but what does this mean for her title shot?
Skippy: Up next we'll see the match made earlier on, Huh vs. Cheesecake, with the loser having to leave MECCA. But first, Bill Bicknell is standing by with the Ladies' Champion.
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is with Shadow.)
Bill: I'm here with the Ladies' Champion Shadow, and Shadow, what do you make of what we just witnessed out there?
Shadow: What do I make of it? Kelly Schweickart should be ashamed of herself, representing her gender and the ladies' division of MECCA in such a way. She wants a title shot after forcing us all to endure that? Kelly, you can forget about ever getting a title shot at me, because there is no way I would demean this belt by wrestling you after tonight. So the next time you think about challenging me, forget it.
(Shadow storms away.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Pajamarama" hits and Huh makes his way to the ring, along with David Caldwell.)
Skippy: It's time for a grudge match that has quite a bit of history, as it was back in August of last year that Cheesecake turned on his longtime tag team partner Huh, which resulted in a match at Summertime Showdown where Cheesecake blinded Huh with disinfectant.
Dick: Huh went on to join up with David Caldwell since that time while Cheesecake experienced a resurgence and then floundered after losing three straight title matches to Eddie Crowe.
("Filthy/Gorgeous" hits and Cheesecake makes his way to the ring.)
Skippy: This is a must win situation for both these men, as David Caldwell has also put Huh's career on the line just to get Cheesecake out, and the loser will have to leave MECCA.
Dick: Cheesecake had the "gall" to embarrass Caldwell earlier after he denied Cheesecake's request to join his group. It's now sink or swim for Cheesecake.
(FINISH: Cheesecake goes for the Long Kiss Goodnight, but Huh counters with an armwringer and pulls him in to hit a DDT. He goes up top and tries a moonsault, but Cheesecake moves. He goes for the Screw-Driver on Huh, but he blocks it and gets behind Cheesecake, pushing him into the ropes. He goes for the Windbreaker, but Cheesecake lands on his feet. He tries a clothesline, but Huh blocks it and hits a swinging neckbreaker. He picks Cheesecake up and hits a wheelbarrow powerbomb into the corner and then shoves Cheesecake's limp body to the mat. Caldwell tells him to go up again, so Huh goes to the top rope and hits the moonsault. He covers and gets the three count.)
Winner: Huh
Skippy: Just like that, Huh has put away his former tag team partner and now Cheesecake is fired from MECCA.
Dick: They knew each other so well that they were able to block each other's finishers, but it looks like Huh has been working on some new tricks and he caught Cheesecake tonight.
(Huh and Caldwell leave, and Cheesecake gets some applause from the crowd before exiting the ring and heading to the back.)
Skippy: Say what you will about Cheesecake's lifestyle or as a person, but he has definitely contributed to MECCA over the last couple of years, but the tide seems to have turned against him as far as wrestling goes. Up next, the Women's World Cup continues.
(Backstage, Joey Sprinklers is walking down the hallway and spots Katie Piehl in the catering area.)
Joey: Katie! Whaddya doin' out here?
Katie: Well, since Caldwell is running the show this week, he's commandeered my office, so I thought I'd come out here and get something to eat.
Joey: Listen, have you given any thought about the challenger for the Toughman Title at Bloody Valentine?
Katie: I have, Joey, and I know you want the match, but there are a number of other challengers who want a shot at that title, especially now that they know either Fox or Cynric are getting a World Title shot. So since Caldwell has not bothered to inform anyone of a main event for tonight, I thought I'd hold a Toughman Gauntlet to determine the number one contender.
Joey: You know Caldwell's not going to approve that!
Katie: I can only hope he actually listens to reason. Personally, I don't think he even has a plan for tonight. So get ready for a match, Joey, because you're in it, and if you win it, you've got the shot.
Joey: (smirks) Right, who else is in it? Tornado and Delirious? The MECCA Training Camp students?
Katie: Try Kevin Stone, Nykk, Bryan Danielson, Tristan Lee, Matt Sydal and the Pyro Twins. See you out there.
(Katie leaves, and Joey has a look of abject concern on his face.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Shadows of the Night" hits and Rebecca Knox makes her way to the ring.)
Skippy: Rebecca Knox, the lass from the Emerald Isle, is set for her second round match in the Women's World Cup. Of course, we all remember the immediate impact she made in her first round match, upsetting the First Lady of MECCA Lisa Letty after faking a knee injury and then using a moment of distraction to attack Lisa and hurt her to the point where she had to give it up.
Dick: Lisa is still recovering from that injury, and K-nox is faced with another opponent from the US in this round.
("TKO" hits and Zoe Alexander makes her way to the ring.)
Skippy: It's a bit dubious that Zoe is even in this tournament as she got in only after Caldwell pulled some strings, but she is a fine competitor in her own right, and she did make it past Fabi Apache in the first round.
Dick: Knox can't use the same trick twice. Zoe surely saw that match and will be ready for whatever she tries to pull.
(FINISH: Zoe goes for the Zoetrope, but Knox counters into a sunset flip. Zoe kicks out and then clotheslines Knox. She lifts her into a firewoman's carry, but Knox escapes and spins Zoe around, giving her a flatliner. She covers and gets a two count. She whips Zoe into the ropes, but Zoe reverses and gives her a flying kick. She goes to the top rope for a double axehandle, but Knox gets a boot up and then gives Zoe the Falcon Arrow. She covers and gets the three count.)
Winner: Rebecca Knox
Skippy: Rebecca Knox picks up another victory, and moves on to the next round, where she faces another American competitor in Daizee Haze.
Dick: I don't know what to make of this Rebecca Knox. She fought dirty last time, but this week the match went off clean as a whistle.
Skippy: She's definitely not right, no doubt about that.
(The camera follows Zoe back to the backstage area, where David Caldwell, the CDT, Huh, Kishi Fatu and Medea Knight are waiting for her.)
Caldwell: What the hell happened out there?
Zoe: I was cheated! I think she put steel toes in her boots so she could kick harder or something.
Caldwell: You were supposed to mow through the competition and expose this farce of a tournament for what it is! This was a miscarriage of justice, and we're all leaving right now out of protest! Let's see how this show does without its most entertaining members!
(The David Caldwell Project leave the backstage area and go out the nearest exit.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "I've Got the Power" hits and Katie Piehl makes her way to the ring.)
Skippy: We're back, and before the break Caldwell was incensed that Zoe Alexander lost in the Women's World Cup, and has taken most of his group and left for the night.
Dick: Maybe Katie Piehl will shed some light on what's going to happen now.
(Katie gets a mic.)
Katie: Good evening, fans of MECCA! First off, I want to apologize for this show, and although we've been able to sneak some great wrestling on here, Caldwell has been running things very poorly, I might add, throughout the night and this is definitely not your typical Go Time. But next week, rest assured that I will be back in charge as Go Time presents Night of Champions, where the best of the previous year are rewarded with title shots! But as for tonight, since Caldwell left, that means I'm back in charge, and I say this Toughman Gauntlet goes ahead as planned. Here's how it's going to work: each participant was given a random number. Two will start the match out, and every two minutes will add another competitor. Eliminations cannot begin until all participants have entered, and once they do, eliminations can only occur by knockout, pin or submission. Now, it's time to introduce the first participant!
("Hit That" hits and Joey Sprinklers makes his way to the ring.)
Skippy: More bad luck for Joey Sprinklers, as he is the first man to go into this Gauntlet, and with the next man to come out, will have to stay throughout the entire match.
Dick: And with the competition he's facing, poor Joey's going to get killed.
("Clavicle" hits and Matt Sydal makes his way to the ring.)
Skippy: You know that Matt Sydal is sore at Joey for abruptly breaking off their team, after revealing that S-Squared came out with the worst record in tag matches last year.
Dick: Joey was also seen stalking Sydal during his match at Snowed In, so there may be some issues we're not aware of here.
(FINISH: Jay Crowe is the next participant, followed by Danielson, then Nykk, then Stone, then Lee, and finally Dusty. Jay is the first to be eliminated, after being knocked out with elbows from Danielson. Sydal is then pinned by Lee after a Degenerate Driver. Lee is the next to go after being pinned after a Stone Crusher from Stone. Danielson makes Dusty submit to the Crossface Chickenwing, but Nykk knocks Danielson out with a well placed kneelift. This leaves Nykk and Joey, but as Nykk gets Joey up for a rolling Samoan Drop, Danielson comes back in and clips Nykk's knee. Joey escapes and rolls Nykk up for the three count.)
Winner: Joey Sprinklers
Skippy: Well, after spending the entire match hiding from harm, Joey Sprinklers did it and won through to the end!
Dick: He'll get the Toughman Title shot at Bloody Valentine now, but we still don't know if Alan will be defending his title next week or not.
Skippy: It's Night of Champions next week, fans, so please join us then. We're out of here!
(Nykk comes after Joey, who slinks out of the ring and Nykk comes face to face with Danielson. They have a shoving match, and some officials come out to get between them.)