Quick Rundown Results:
Anubis b. Cheesecake
Joey Sprinklers b. Shane Ballard, Dreamo, Jack Fletcher
Concession Boy b. Shannon Ballard
Gail Kim and LuFisto b. Zoe Alexander and Kelly Schweickart
Eddie Crowe b. Andy Nathans
("Neocon" opening.)
David: Hello once again, fans, and welcome to Go Time! I'm David Mills, he's Dick Broccoli, and we're here at the Michigan State Fairgrounds in Detroit, Michigan tonight. In the main event, two members of the six-man tag at Melee will go at it when Eddie Crowe takes on Jack Fletcher!
Dick: Also, the four semi-finalists in the Toughman Tournament go at it in singles matches when Alan Mayse takes on Matt Sydal and Trent Acid battles Ronin Fox.
David: We'll also see the two dream opponents for this Saturday hook it up when Cynric takes on Delirious, and that's happening right now!
("Hybrid Stigmata" hits and Delirious makes his way to the ring.)
David: Delirious is quite an odd choice for Nykk to make the opponent for Charlie Haas at Melee, since he hasn't exactly distinguished himself in singles competition.
Dick: It seems like Nykk's just playing with Haas's head, but he must see something in Delirious that no one else can, and he did manage to get the pin on Haas last week.
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric makes his way to the ring.)
David: The dangerous Cynric is headed for action, and I'm taking a guess that we'll be seeing Nykk and/or Haas sometime during this match.
Dick: Unquestionably both are watching this, not only to scout their opponent, but hoping that the other guy wears him down.
(FINISH: Delirious hits Cynric with Shadows Over Hell and gets a two count when Charlie Haas appears at ringside. Delirious bounces off the ropes, and Haas grabs his leg. Delirious turns to jaw at Haas in gibberish. Cynric charges, but Delirious drops to all fours and crawls backwards underneath Cynric's legs. He hooks the arms and hits the Chemical Imbalance #2. He covers, but Haas puts Cynric's foot over the bottom rope. Delirious whips Cynric into the corner and charges, but Cynric staggers him with a back elbow. He hits Delirious with a charging rolling koppo kick and then bounces off the ropes, hitting the Lift Off. He covers and gets the three count.)
Winner: Cynric
David: Cynric beats Delirious, but Delirious had the win if it wasn't for the cheating of Charlie Haas.
Dick: Haas isn't going to wait for this Saturday. He wants to take care of the Lizard Man right now!
(Haas gets in the ring and he and Cynric stomp on Delirious. Haas gives him the Haastruction and then locks in the Haas of Pain. Cynric bounces off the ropes and dropkicks Delirious in the face. They play to the crowd and start to get Delirious up, but Nykk runs out. He takes down Haas with a back elbow and ducks a clothesline from Cynric. He hits a back suplex into a German suplex, but before he can get the dragon, Haas charges. Nykk ducks down with Cynric still in the full nelson and backdrops Haas over the top rope. He gives Cynric a release dragon suplex and he rolls out of the ring. "Destroy" plays as Nykk helps Delirious up.)
David: Nykk saved his charge from the double team of Haas and Cynric, and even got in some shots against his opponent this Saturday as well.
Dick: Haas has vowed to stretch Delirious at Melee, and Nykk has a tough fight in for him as well against Cynric. These two were actually one friendly terms for once until Cynric joined back up on his brother's side.
David: Speaking of Ronin Fox, he'll be in action later on, but when we come back, Alan Mayse takes on Matt Sydal!
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is standing by with Kelly Schweickart.)
Bill: Kelly, on Saturday you finally get your rematch for the Ladies' Title when you take on Gail Kim, a woman you've had beaten in the past if it wasn't for the Dangerous Liaison. How does it feel after all this delay to finally be given a shot at glory?
Kelly: Bill, I couldn't be happier, and Kim, I hope you decide to leave it all in the ring at Melee and not bring the Dangerous Liaison with you. Because I know that in a straight match, I can...
(Kelly is suddenly attacked from behind by LuFisto and rammed into the wall. Kelly fights back as Bill runs to get some help, but Shadow and Misery jump in on Kelly as Gail looks on. They hold her up, and Gail waffles her with the Ladies' belt.)
Gail: Just like that, Kelly. Just like that, I've beaten you. And on Saturday, live in front of the world, I prove that I'm better than you. Because I...
(She's interrupted by Lisa Letty and Zoe Alexander, who hurl themselves at the Gail and the Dangerous Liaison. The Dangerous Liaison retreats, but not before Lisa gives Gail a look of contempt.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "My 7th Rib" hits and Matt Sydal makes his way to the ring.)
David: We're back on Go Time, and can you believe the audacity of Gail Kim and the Dangerous Liaison, viciously and deliberately attacking Kelly Schweickart before the break?
Dick: She'll definitely have her hands full come Melee.
David: Right now, two of the semi-finalists in the Toughman Tournament will go at it, as young Matt Sydal prepares for his encounter with a true MECCA mainstay.
("Seven Nation Army" hits and Alan Mayse makes his way to the ring.)
David: It's been a long, winding road through the tournament for all of these men to get this far, and Alan is dead set on being the first Toughman Champion.
Dick: All the eggs are in one basket for Alan Mayse. He lost his partner for the tag team division, and he failed to win the MECCA Championship at Bloody Valentine. This is the only opportunity he has left right now for gold.
(FINISH: Alan goes for the Tiger Bomb, but Sydal manages to counter with a backdrop. He goes to the top rope, but Alan shakes the ropes and crotches him. He goes up for the super Tiger Bomb, but Sydal blocks it and headbutts Alan. He hits the Cyclorama, but before he can get the cover, Ronin Fox and Trent Acid run in. Acid sends Sydal down with a Yakuza Kick and Fox stomps away at Alan. Referee Keith Young calls for the bell.)
Winner: No Contest
David: This match has been thrown out, as Fox and Acid have shown themselves and are assaulting their opponents for this Saturday. Don't they know they'll be facing each other later on?
Dick: I guess they decided to hedge their bets a little bit.
(Acid baseball slides into Alan, sending him to the floor as Fox hits Sydal with the Tail End. Acid sends Alan into the guardrail as Fox exits the ring. They high five and walk to the back.)
David: Things are heating up in the Toughman Tournament. Only two men will move on to the finals after this Saturday.
(In the back, Kevin Stone is sitting in the locker room with the belt over his shoulder when Eddie Crowe enters.)
Stone: Well, if it isn't the lesser Crowe, and I do mean that in every way you want to take it. It was such a pleasure beating your brother last week and putting the beatdown on you and Dusty afterwards. You can expect the exact same thing at Melee.
Eddie: Careful there, Stone, I wouldn't want you to collapse under all that confidence. Believe me, I learned my lesson in dealing with you last week. I never expected that you would ally yourself with two cowards like the UK Wrecking Crew, but now I'm looking forward to Melee, and yes, to tonight when I get my hands on Fletcher. I know you've got something similar to last week planned for tonight, so let me just give you this warning. I've got assurance that you will not be sticking your nose into my business tonight.
Stone: Is that a fact?
Eddie: It's a fact. See you at Melee; because this is the last time I see you tonight.
(He leaves, and Kevin smirks at him.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Liberi Fatali" hits and Jackie makes her way to the ring.)
David: It's grudge match time as Charlie Haas's wife Jackie makes her singles debut here in MECCA.
Dick: Though she's more a valet than a wrestler, many seem to forget that she was a WWE Tough Enough winner in the past. But it remains to be seen whether she's tough enough for MECCA.
("Edge of Seventeen" hits and Lisa Letty makes her way to the ring.)
David: And here comes someone you do not want to make your debut against in the ladies' division. These two hate each other based purely on the fact that Nykk and Haas hate each other.
Dick: Lisa has a lot to lose if Jackie can pull out a victory, though. This is only her second match in MECCA.
(FINISH: Lisa pretty much dominates the match until the Dangerous Liaison make their way to ringside. Lisa tries to ignore them, until Gail tries to trip her from the outside. Lisa kicks at her, but that allows Jackie to forearm her from behind. She whips her into the ropes, but Lisa counters into an armwringer and kicks Jackie, giving her a stiff powerbomb. She points at Gail and says that one's for her. Misery gets on the apron, and referee Rya Zay goes over to head her off. LuFisto and Shadow get in the ring, but Lisa clotheslines Shadow and gives LuFisto an enzugiri. They roll out, but Jackie manages to roll Lisa up and hook the tights to get the three count.)
Winner: Jackie
David: I can't believe it. Jackie has just beaten a former Ladies' Champion due to the tactics of the Dangerous Liaison.
Dick: This has to be payback for Lisa coming to Kelly Schweickart's aid earlier.
(Lisa goes for Gail, but the rest of the Dangerous Liaison throw her back. They make their exit, as does Jackie when she sees the look on Lisa's face.)
(In the back, Kevin Stone is walking down the hall when Bill Bicknell comes up to him with a mic.)
Bill: Kevin Stone, you are under orders not to interfere in tonight's main event. So where are you going?
Stone: I'm the MECCA Champion, Bill. I do what I want. If you'll excuse me, I have some talent to "scout."
(He smirks and walks into the concession area. The Pyro Twins emerge and attack Stone as Concession Boy scrambles out of the way with all the merchandise he can carry. Dusty rams Stone into the concession table, and Jay gets a couple of chairs. He hands one to Dusty, and they take turns hitting Kevin over the head. A third shot puts him on the table, and Jay climbs up a nearby ladder. He comes off with a legdrop, putting Stone through the table.)
Dusty: Eddie warned you, Stone. Eddie warned you, and the EDJ backs up its word.
(He pulls Jay to his feet and they walk away, with Stone unconscious.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Hit That" hits and Joey Sprinklers skateboards his way to the ring.)
David: We're back on Go Time, and as we just saw before the break, Kevin Stone has been ambushed by the Pyro Twins, and there's no way he's going to be able to interfere in Eddie Crowe vs. Jack Fletcher tonight, as he's been taken to the hospital to be checked on.
Dick: We'll have to wait until Melee to see the MECCA Champion again, but right now Joey Sprinklers will be facing off against the other half of the tag champs.
("Ironman" hits and Andy Nathans makes his way to the ring, along with the Grenadiers.)
David: Andy Nathans wants to avenge his loss to Joey from the first round of the Toughman Tournament, and at the same time step up at the singles game here in MECCA.
Dick: Nathans is certainly capable of handling Joey by himself, and he's going to have to with his partner being in the main event.
(FINISH: Joey goes for Da Sprinkalantor, but Nathans escapes and pushes Joey right into referee Matt Hitchcock. He goes down, but Joey gives Nathans a drop toehold. Low Ki suddenly emerges from the back and marches to the ring. He gets in and starts kicking Joey. Joey goes down, and Low Ki gives him a kick to the chest. He springboards off the second rope for the Tidal Wave, but Joey moves and Ki kicks Nathans right in the side of the head, knocking him out. Joey scoops up Low Ki and delivers Da Hit, and then covers Nathans. Hitchcock wakes up and makes the three count.)
Winner: Joey Sprinklers
David: Joey picks up the win after Nathans got hit with a Tidal Wave! Joey is one up on Low Ki again!
Dick: Nathans is out cold. He has not moved since Low Ki kicked him.
(Low Ki gets to his feet, and Joey makes a run for it, waving his arms in the air victoriously. Low Ki follows him to the back as Hitchcock checks on Nathans. When he doesn't stir, Hitchcock waves to the back and some more officials and EMTs come out to tend to him.)
David: It looks like Nathans was really hurt with that kick, and he's getting tended to right now. I guess this means that he won't be able to get involved in the main event either. Fletcher is all alone now!
Dick: He's still got the Grenadiers to keep away outside interference, so it looks like it will truly be one on one.
(Backstage, David Caldwell catches up with Lisa Letty.)
Caldwell: Lisa! You were just made an ass out of once again by the Dangerous Liaison. Isn't this about the third time this month?
Lisa: The Dangerous Liaison's time is coming to an end. At the MECCA Challenge, they're through.
(Lisa glares at Caldwell and walks away.)
Caldwell: Wait, Lisa! What do you mean by that? Lisa?
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Closer" hits and Trent Acid makes his way to the ring.)
David: It's time for our other match featuring semi-finalists in the Toughman Tournament. We already saw Trent Acid once tonight, along with Ronin Fox, as they beat down Alan Mayse and Matt Sydal.
Dick: They ruined a competitive match, but now it's their turn to show the fans who has the momentum going into the semi-final Four Corners Match at Melee.
("Did My Time" hits and Ronin Fox makes his way to the ring.)
David: Fox is looking for one of the coveted spots in the finals that will send two men to the MECCA Challenge to face off for the Toughman Championship. Depending on what happens on Saturday, we could be seeing this match again very soon.
Dick: Fox wants his first title here in MECCA, and he has a great chance at it.
(FINISH: Fox goes for the Tail End, but Acid throws him off and goes for the Yakuza Kick. Fox ducks and monkey flips Acid. He whips him into the corner, and hits Around the World in 18 Seconds. He goes for the Carrion Stretch, but Acid makes it to the ropes. Fox goes to the second rope, but Acid runs up the ropes to meet him. Fox headbutts him, and Acid falls to the ground, "accidentally" kicking Fox below the belt. Acid gets up and hits the Backseat Driver, and gets the three count.)
Winner: Trent Acid
David: Acid wins in what has to be considered an upset, given the track record of Ronin Fox!
Dick: It just goes to show you that nothing's for sure in the semi-finals.
(As Acid celebrates, Alan Mayse and Matt Sydal suddenly run down and slide into the ring. Sydal stomps on Fox as Alan nails Acid from behind. He gives Acid an exploder suplex as Sydal gives Fox the Here It Is Driver. Acid and Fox roll to the outside, and Alan bounces off the ropes, hitting a somersault plancha onto both of them. As they fight to their feet, Sydal goes to the top rope and takes out the whole pile with a corkscrew moonsault.)
David: Matt Sydal and Alan Mayse have gotten revenge for earlier tonight! They worked together here, but it's every man for himself at Melee.
Dick: It remains to be seen who's going to the MECCA Challenge. We could see Mayse vs. Acid, Acid vs. Fox, Fox vs. Mayse, Sydal vs. Fox, Sydal vs. Mayse, or Acid vs. Sydal.
David: Melee will definitely be the event that shapes the MECCA Challenge. We'll be right back with our main event!
(Commercial Break)
(In the locker room, Concession Boy is shilling merchandise while Cheesecake and Huh look on.)
Cheesecake: CB, why are you in here? Shouldn't you be selling our stuff out there?
CB: No way. Have you been out there tonight? It's total chaos! The MECCA Champion's getting jumped, Lisa Letty's on a rampage trying to find the Dangerous Liaison, EMTs are carting Andy Nathans to the hospital...
Cheesecake: We get the picture, thanks.
Huh: Huh?
Cheesecake: My thoughts exactly, my pudgy friend. Why should I be worrying about him when we have the Killer Kanine'th in just a few days at Melee?
Huh: The big one scares me.
Cheesecake: Ye'th, but remember, we beat them once before. The most they've gotten over us is a count-out victory. When we win this Saturday, our title shot at the MECCA Challenge is all but a'th'ured! Th'o, what are we going to do this Th'aturday?
Huh: We're gonna kick their asses!
(Cheesecake whaps him with the concession tray.)
Cheesecake: Be a little more original. How about this?
(He whispers something into Huh's ear. Huh looks shocked.)
Huh: Could a cucumber really fit in there?
Cheesecake: Well, the picnic basket will be rather large. And we all know that dogs can't resist food. I th'aw this on TV once. We lure them backstage with the promise of a grand feast, and that'th where the zookeepers will be waiting.
Huh: Got it.
Cheesecake: Now let's go point and laugh as Eddie wears down Jack Fletcher for us.
(He leaves the locker room.)
Huh: Wait, what are we going to do again?
(In the arena, "Ironman" hits and Jack Fletcher makes his way to the ring.)
Dick: That was the stupidest thing I've heard... well... ever!
David: The Eccentrics have a unique strategy to deal with the Killer Kanines on FSN this Saturday, but it's now time for the main event. Jack Fletcher is going at it alone, aside from the Grenadiers, because his partners for this Saturday have both been taken to the hospital.
Dick: I've been getting word that both men are all right, but they definitely aren't going to be back in time to interfere in this one.
("Noots" hits and Eddie Crowe charges to the ring.)
David: Eddie's been able to get some one on one revenge on Nathans in recent weeks, and now it's Fletcher's turn!
(FINISH: Fletcher goes for the Union Jack, but Eddie counters into a sunset flip. Fletcher rolls backwards at two and hits Eddie with a running knee, covering for a two count of his own. He goes for the Union Jack again, but Eddie escapes and hits the Backslide Bomb. He hits the running brainbuster, followed by the Gutwrench Driver. He applies the Crowe's Nest and Fletcher quickly taps out.)
Winner: Eddie Crowe
David: Eddie just decimated Fletcher with authority! I can't believe he did all that without breaking Fletcher's neck.
Dick: Eddie Crowe just got his revenge on the UK Wrecking Crew, and this Saturday he and the Pyro Twins plan on winning that six-man tag.
(Eddie goes outside the ring and gets a chair. He waits for Fletcher to stagger up and then drills him in the head with chair so hard that the back rest breaks off. Fletcher wears the chair as a necklace for a moment before falling to the canvas.)
David: Uh... we might need the EMTs out here again... Fletcher could have a concussion, and that means that all three of the EDJ's opponents will have sore necks going into the main event this Saturday.
Dick: I'm not even too sure Fletcher will make it to the main event after that!
David: We'll have to wait to find out, because we're out of time. Thank you, fans, and be sure to tune into Melee this Saturday!