Quick Rundown Results:
Shadow b. Zoe Alexander
Lisa Letty and Kelly Schweickart b. LuFisto and Misery
Cheesecake b. Jack Fletcher
Andy Nathans b. Huh
("Neocon" opening.)
David: We are here in the Sports Connection in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, as MECCA presents Go Time tonight on Thanksgiving Eve! I'm David Mills, this is Dick Broccoli, and we've got a great tag team main event to lead us into No Regrets this Saturday.
Dick: Old friends Nykk and Joey Sprinklers will team up to face old enemies Ronin Fox and Low Ki! That should definitely be an interesting match. How can Fox and Low Ki coexist after everything that's transpired between them?
David: Speaking of coexisting, that's exactly what opponents for this Saturday Alan Mayse and Cynric and the Pyro Twins will have to do. They'll see eight-man tag team action against Kevin Stone, Trent Acid and the Ballards. But right now, the MECCA Tag Team Championship is on the line!
("Pajamarama" hits and the Eccentrics make their way to the ring.)
David: The Eccentrics have been waiting almost a month to get their rematch for the tag titles. They lost them in controversial fashion back to the UK Wrecking Crew at Scared Stiff.
Dick: I think it's just best for the titles and for Andy Nathans and Jack Fletcher if we just forgot that Huh and Cheesecake were ever the champions.
("Ironman" hits and the UK Wrecking Crew make their way to the ring.)
David: The UK Wrecking Crew still claim to be technically undefeated, but "technically" doesn't cut it, guys. It's all about the wins and the losses.
Dick: But their one loss was a miscarriage of justice. They avenged that loss at Scared Stiff, and plan on doing it again right here tonight.
(FINISH: KDX come out to watch the UK Wrecking Crew in action. Toward the end, Huh goes up for the moonsault, but Nathans crotches him on the top turnbuckle. Cheesecake kicks him and goes for the Long Kiss Goodnight, but Nathans counters with a go behind and trips Cheesecake. He spins around him and hooks him as Fletcher comes off the ropes to hit the Wrecking Ball. Nathans covers and gets the three count.)
Winners: The UK Wrecking Crew
David: The UK Wrecking Crew have another successful title defense, and will now go on to No Regrets to face the team staring at them right now, Kaientai Deluxe.
Dick: That should be a great match, but the UK Wrecking Crew have their wind back. I don't think KDX is going to stand much of a chance.
(In the locker room, Ronin Fox enters to find Low Ki sitting on the bench. Low Ki stands to meet him.)
Low Ki: Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I don't like you, Fox, and I don't want to be teaming with you.... but I have to admit, I now respect you.
(Fox smirks.)
Fox: Same thing with me, Low Ki. I finally get your attitude, having been around as long as you have. I finally understand that those fans really don't give a damn about us, no matter how hard they may cheer us. They're always ready to betray you and leave you dead in the gutter. I'm not happy about teaming with you tonight either, but we've got Nykk on the other side of the ring, who I hate even more. I guess it's true what they say. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
(He extends his hand, and Low Ki shakes it.)
Low Ki: And tonight, I'll show Sprinkles a little preview of the pain that's in store for him at No Regrets. And when I get through with him, I'll be back on the Contender Star, and I want to know... when you take that belt from Nykk, keep in mind who was watching your back tonight when it comes time to give out that first title shot.
Fox: You and me for the title, after I win it? (thinks) We'll see. We'll see.
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "My Friend of Misery" hits and Misery makes her way to the ring.)
David: We're back on Go Time, and what audacity we saw by Fox and Low Ki, talking like they've already won their matches at No Regrets.
Dick: Right now Misery's out here representing the Dangerous Liaison. What an opportunity for her, as she'll face the Ladies' Champion in a non-title match.
("Edge of Seventeen" hits and Lisa Letty makes her way to the ring.)
David: Lisa Letty is prepared for No Regrets, where she'll be defending her title against the le... well, not the leader of the Dangerous Liaison, that's Shadow... but Gail Kim, who certainly has been picking up the pieces that Shadow left behind when she lost to Lisa at Scared Stiff.
Dick: If Gail wins the title, her leadership will be all but cemented, I think.
(FINISH: Misery goes for Miserable Times, but Lisa dropkicks her out of midair. She whips Misery into the ropes, but it gets reversed. Lisa ducks a clothesline and drops Misery on her head with a release German suplex. She gives Misery a brainbuster and then covers for the three count.)
Winner: Lisa Letty
David: The Ladies' Champion is victorious once again, and now has some momentum going into this Saturday against the Sensation of Submission.
(Lisa gets a mic.)
Lisa: Gail, this Saturday we're going to war for this title. I've been in this situation before. If you want this belt, come get it from me. I've been Ladies' Champion for all but two months of MECCA's existence. I don't plan on stopping now. If you think you can carry this title, well, I'll just have to stretch you the Letty way until you think otherwise.
("Edge of Seventeen" plays as Lisa exits the ring.)
David: Lisa got in some last minute words before her defense against Gail Kim at No Regrets. Up next will be some eight-man tag action as the Pyro Twins team with their opponents this Saturday, Alan Mayse and Cynric, to face Kevin Stone, Trent Acid and the Ballard Brothers.
(At the concession table, Concession Boy is working feverishly to sell t-shirts.)
CB: Ronin Fox shirts, now thirty percent off! Come on, people, you used to love this guy... damn. Not a single customer. I guess I shouldn't have ordered these in bulk after that last Nykk/Fox match, ja? After that match, who wouldn't have wanted a Ronin Fox shirt? Hey, are you listening?
(The camera pans over to catch Dreamo fast asleep and snoring, with his head propped up on a pile of shirts and a MECCA jacket covering him. Medea Knight is standing beside him.)
Medea: Shh... he's asleep.
CB: When I asked Huh and Cheesecake for some help tonight, I didn't think they'd give me the one guy who literally sleeps on the job! Oh well, no matter. (whispering) Get your MECCA hoodies... they come with a Ronin Fox shirt for free...
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, the camera pans over the first row and stops when it sees none other than Charlie Haas and Jackie Gayda sitting in the front row.)
David: We're back here on Go Time, and... and...
Dick: And what? We have a great line up tonight... is that who I think it is?
David: That's Charlie Haas and his wife Jackie! What are they doing in the crowd? We're a long way from Dallas, Texas, where they live. What does this mean?
("At the End of the Rainbow" hits and Kevin Stone, Trent Acid and the Ballard Brothers make their way to the ring.)
David: We'll have to get Bill Bicknell on that story. It's time for our eight-man tag match, and the Ballards don't look too happy at being out here with Acid.
Dick: Of course not, Acid fed them to the Pyro Twins a few weeks ago. I'd be upset with him too.
("Burning Times" hits and the Pyro Twins, Cynric and Alan Mayse make their way to the ring.)
David: I never thought I'd see the day when Mayse and Cynric teamed up with the Pyro Twins, but it's happening tonight.
Dick: They won't be a team for long, though. They'll be facing each other at No Regrets, with a tag title shot on the line.
(FINISH: A donnybrook erupts near the end, and Cynric vaults off of Stone's back to attempt a Lift Off onto Acid, but he moves and Cynric nails Jay. Dusty gets in Cynric's face, and Alan tries to calm the two down. However, Kevin clotheslines Cynric and Dusty through the ropes and Acid pulls Alan out of the ring. Meanwhile, Jay clotheslines Shane over the top rope and backdrops Shannon. He goes to the top rope and tries a double axehandle, but Kevin catches him with the Stone Crusher and covers, getting the three count.)
Winners: Kevin Stone, Trent Acid and the Ballard Brothers
David: Team Stone wins it, thanks to some miscommunication between Cynric, Mayse and the Pyro Twins.
Dick: It was only a matter of time. These four barely like each other as it is.
(As Stone and friends exit, Dusty helps Jay up. Cynric shoves Dusty from behind, and Dusty gets in his face again. Jay and Alan attempt to get between them, but Jay suddenly decks Alan. A brawl erupts between the two teams. Officials quickly rush out to separate them.)
David: It's broken down now, and those officials have arrived to head off this match from happening before it's supposed to. I'm told that we have Bill Bicknell at ringside, and he's going to attempt to get a word with Charlie Haas.
(At ringside, Bill Bicknell has a microphone.)
Bill: Bill Bicknell here, the only interviewer in MECCA who gets the scoops, unlike that scab Caldwell. I'm down here at ringside because we have none other than Charlie Haas and his wife Jackie in attendance. Charlie, what are you doing here tonight? It's a long way from Dallas.
Haas: (to Jackie) Did he just call me Charlie? Who is this guy anyway? Come on, Jackie. Let's get out of here.
(Haas and Jackie get up and leave.)
Bill: Well, it appears that I've been snubbed, David. I don't think he's coming back. When we come back, I'm being told Concession Boy and Dreamo will take a break from selling merchandise and will be wrestling KDX. Don't go away!
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Entre dos Tierras" is playing, and Kaientai DX are in the ring.)
David: We're back on Go Time and ready for more tag team action, as we'll see the team that will be challenging for the MECCA Tag Team Championship this Saturday, KDX.
Dick: Can Dick Togo and Men's Teioh win the tag titles on their first try? I still think the UK Wrecking Crew has their number, as well as the number of every team in MECCA.
("The Immigrant Song" hits and Concession Boy and Dreamo make their way to the ring, along with Medea Knight. CB is selling official Dreamo pillowcases to the ringside fans, as Medea drags Dreamo down to the ring by the blanket he has wrapped around himself.)
David: I'm told that the Eccentric Alliance has taken to calling these two the "Concession Dream Team."
Dick: I call them a couple of clueless misfits. Even KDX can't screw this one up.
(FINISH: Teioh and Togo give CB a double flapjack onto the top rope, but Dreamo manages to dropkick Teioh out of the ring. He trades rights with Togo, but suddenly the UK Wrecking Crew run down to ringside. Nathans hits Dreamo from behind with one of the tag belts, and Fletcher clotheslines Togo. Referee Matt Hitchcock calls for the bell, throwing the match out.)
Winners: No Contest
David: The UK Wrecking Crew have attacked both teams, and this one has been thrown out! They're just trying to soften up KDX for this Saturday!
(Concession Boy comes in but gets dropkicked in the face, and then receives the Wrecking Ball. They go for the Wrecking Ball on Togo, but Teioh trips Fletcher and drags him outside, ramming him into the guardrail. He goes into the ring and catches Nathans with the Miracle Ecstasy. Togo goes to the top rope and gives Nathans a Senton Bomb. Fletcher drags Nathans from the ring as "Entre dos Tierras" plays.)
David: KDX are ready for the UK Wrecking Crew, as they just sent the tag champs fleeing with their tails between their legs!
Dick: Nathans and Fletcher may have overextended themselves here, but I get the feeling they're just trying to lure KDX into a false sense of security for No Regrets.
(Backstage, David Caldwell is standing by with Kevin Stone.)
Caldwell: Bill Bicknell may be the guy with the "scoops" but my guests actually want to talk with me. Kevin Stone, this Saturday your quest to destroy the Eccentric Alliance comes to a head as you'll beat the flavor out of that fruit Cheesecake. Just how much pain are you planning on inflicting on that stain to human society?
Stone: I'll just let that be a surprise, David. But Cheesecake, let me ask you something: what in the hell were you thinking, leading your friends into my business? You know you can't win. We trained together, Cheesecake. You know how dangerous I can be when the spirit moves me. And this Saturday, I can feel the spirits getting ready to move me around that ring as I crack open your skull and watch the life flow from your career. After this, Caldwell, my turn for immortality will come, as I will capture the MECCA Championship, whether it's from Nykk or Ronin Fox. But Cheesecake, you've become something you don't want to be. You've become my example. You'd better take a look around on Saturday at all the fans, and at all the TV cameras, and at all those idiots in the Eccentric Alliance. Because I promise you, this is the last time you step into a ring.
(In the locker room, Nykk is lacing up his boots when Joey Sprinklers enters.)
Nykk: Joey! You ready for tonight?
Joey: Why do I have to do this, Nykk? I've already got a lot of pain coming to me with my match against Low Ki at No Regrets. I don't want him to finish the job before I even get to St. Louis!
Nykk: Joey, I've seen you go up against virtually everyone in this company without any fear. Why is Low Ki any different? Sure, he kicks hard enough to turn your brains into gray gelatin, when he nails you with that phoenix corkscrew it's like being hit with a missile, and when he locks in that Dragon Clutch you can practically feel your tendons stretching, about to snap... but he's human, and can be beaten, as I've proven.
(Joey looks like he's about to throw up.)
Joey: Maybe... we should just call this whole thing off.
Nykk: Listen, Joey, run if you want to, put me in a handicap situation if you want to... but first, stand up for yourself. Face Low Ki, and you'll see a man that shouldn't frighten you. You may not realize it, but your victory over Low Ki put you on the Contender Star until you lost your spot to Delirious. You were that close to challenging for this title. Now suck it up, take your lumps, get out there and let's tear this place up.
(Nykk leaves, but Joey hangs back, still looking a bit sick.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Fighter's Passion" hits and Low Ki and Ronin Fox make their way to the ring.)
David: Here come two old foes, who are teaming together for the very first time. They reached an accommodation earlier, but the truth is they're facing a more experienced team.
Dick: But one of those team members is scared to death of Low Ki.
("Destroy" hits and Nykk and Joey Sprinklers make their way to the ring. Joey looks petrified, like he might bolt at any minute.)
David: Joey Sprinklers has a one on one encounter with Low Ki in store for him at No Regrets, and he's getting more paranoid by the day.
Dick: His brief flurry against Low Ki last week didn't help his case either.
(Nykk gets a mic.)
Nykk: Joey... like I told you in the back, it's time to step up. Are you going to let this guy get to you, or are you going to puff up your chest, get in his face, beat his ass, then come after my title? It's time to be a man, Joey. What's it going to be?
(Joey looks at Nykk for a moment and then bolts to the ring, sliding in and tackling Low Ki. He hits him with right hands, and Fox comes over to break it up until Nykk gets to the ring.)
David: Joey's going to take Nykk's advice! It's on here in Milwaukee!
(FINISH: Nykk misses a swan splash on Low Ki, and Joey tags himself in. He dropkicks Low Ki into the corner and ducks a clothesline from Fox, giving him a back suplex. He goes for Da Sprinklanator, but as he lifts Fox, Low Ki kicks Joey in the back of the head, allowing Fox to counter with the Tail End. Low Ki gives Nykk a running koppo kick in the corner as Fox covers Joey for the three count.)
Winners: Ronin Fox and Low Ki
David: Low Ki and Fox win it, but it looks like they're not done!
(Low Ki kicks Joey until he rolls out of the ring, and then he and Fox proceed to beat on Nykk in the corner. Joey walks dejectedly up the aisle until he sees what they're doing to Nykk. He makes a beeline for the ring and grabs his skateboard. He slides in and tackles Low Ki from behind, hitting him with rights. Fox grabs him by the hair and whips him into the ropes, but Joey launches himself into the air and nails Fox in the head with the skateboard. Low Ki and Fox roll out of the ring and retreat.)
David: Joey Sprinklers just saved our MECCA Champion! Who would have thought that?
Dick: This is going to backfire. Low Ki has that murderous look in his eyes, and Joey's going to be directly across the ring from him come this Saturday.
David: Ladies and gentlemen, we will see you this Saturday on FSN for No Regrets. Will we have a new MECCA Champion? Will Joey Sprinklers finally conquer his fear? Tune in to find out!