("Neocon" opening.)
David: Welcome to Go Time, ladies and gentlemen. Once again from Indianapolis, Indiana, I'm David Mills and this is Dick Broccoli. The MECCA Tag Team Titles are on the line tonight as the UK Wrecking Crew defend against the Eccentrics in the main event.
Dick: That's not all, because Kevin Stone is here, and he's going to be taking on one half of the Pyro Twins, Dusty Schneble.
("Ironman" hits and the UK Wrecking Crew make their way to the ring.)
David: What's this? The Tag Team Champions are on their way to the ring, but we're not supposed to see them until later on.
Dick: Maybe they don't want to wait until the main event.
(Andy Nathans gets a mic.)
Nathans: I'm sure you people know the drill by now. We've come out here to announce our total and complete dominance in the tag team division here in MECCA. Not only are we undefeated as a team, we were the first to win these belts, and will remain the only titleholders for as long as we choose! Tonight, Ms. Katie Piehl has matched us up with two imbeciles going by the names of Huh and Cheesecake... they call themselves eccentric, but the fact of the matter remains is that they're just buffoons! I don't think they even deserve a shot at these titles, but be that as it may, tonight we're going to teach these two a lesson they'll never forget.
Fletcher: If we haven't proven it by now, with our outsmarting the stupid Pyro Twins, we are not only physically dominant here in MECCA, but we're also the smartest team too! That makes this "main event" tonight all the more sad, because this is going to be a cakewalk. Cheesecake, you had your flirtation with the main event earlier this year, but the fact is you just couldn't cut it, so you're back in the tag division bothering us again. And Huh, don't even get me started on you. You two are the most putrid, horrifying opponents I've ever had the misfortune of being in the ring with, and...
("Pajamarama" hits and the Eccentrics make their way to the ring.)
David: Huh and Cheesecake are out here now.
Dick: I can't tell whether the UKWC is underestimating the Eccentrics or trying to psyche them out. Huh and Cheesecake have to be wondering that as well.
(Cheesecake gets a mic.)
Cheesecake: Indianapolis, Indiana! How are you all doing tonight? I'm th'uper! You know why? Because tonight, Huh and myself will get tag team gold once again to put around my th'exy waist, and Huh's... uh... waist!
Nathans: Hey, this is our time! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Cheesecake: Huh, what are we going to do after we get tho'th belt'th?
Huh: Uh...
Cheesecake: That'th right, we're going to party all night long!
Fletcher: Hey, quit ignoring us! Do you have any idea what we're going to do to you tonight?
Cheesecake: After that, we're going to take it to the be'th't team'th MECCA has to offer. We'll defend against KDX... Takemura and Th'akota... the Ballard Brother'th... The Pyro Twin'th... we'd even love to give a shot to our friend'th Delirious and Dreamo! Who el'th is there?
Fletcher: You're going to give us a shot, the UK Wrecking Crew! D'ah, what am I saying? We're not losing the titles tonight!
Cheesecake: And we will embark on a new unbeaten th'treak, and claim our spot as the best tag team in MECCA!
(Fletcher and Nathans attack Huh and Cheesecake.)
David: It's on now! The UK Wrecking Crew was getting more frustrated by the second.
(Cheesecake manages to throw Fletcher out of the ring as Nathans whips Huh into the ropes. Huh reverses, and the Eccentrics give him a double looper. Fletcher comes back in and tries a roundhouse kick, but Cheesecake ducks and lifts him into a standing version of the Eccentric Chair. The UKWC retreats up the aisle as Pajamarama plays.)
David: The Eccentrics definitely came here to put up a fight, and they've already gotten under the skin of the UK Wrecking Crew.
Dick: Who would have known that two idiots could have the collective brain of a really smart man? I can't wait to see this match now.
David: We're going to have more tag team action when we come back. Alan Mayse and Cynric take on KDX!
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Entre dos Tierras" hits and Kaientai Deluxe make their way to the ring.)
David: The newly reborn team of Dick Togo and Men's Teioh no longer have David Caldwell to screw up their matches for them. They're looking to get a win here tonight.
Dick: We'll see how well they do without any guidance. I still think it was a mistake to fire Caldwell.
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric and Alan Mayse make their way to the ring.)
David: I don't know the reasoning behind this team. The only thing I can come up with is that they worked so well together in Four Corner Chaos that they decided to give teaming a try.
Dick: Don't forget that should the UKWC retain tonight, they've promised Alan one more title match.
(FINISH: Togo hits the senton on Cynric, but Takemura and Sakota run out with David Caldwell. Takemura gets on the apron and referee Matt Hitchcock gets in between him and Togo. Meanwhile, Teioh stalks Caldwell at ringside only to get a Roaring Elbow from behind from Sakota, sending him into the post. Togo goes outside to fight them as Teioh is rolled back into the ring. Cynric gives him the Shock Cannon and covers for the three count.)
Winners: Alan Mayse and Cynric
David: KDX is not off to a good start thanks to the antics of their former manager and his new clients.
Dick: Caldwell is not about to forget his embarrassing termination. He's out for blood.
David: Nonetheless, this means that Mayse and Cynric could put in a bid for a tag title shot if they wanted. They're off to a good start with a victory over tag team veterans like KDX.
(Backstage, Low Ki is walking with a purpose. He keeps opening doors and looking inside, and seems to be growing more frustrated. He passes Bill Bicknell.)
Bill: Hey, Low Ki, I've been trying to get an interview after last week...
(Ki throws Bill up against a wall.)
Low Ki: Have you seen Joey Sprinklers!?
Bill: I... I...
Low Ki: I'm going to kill that little bitch, do you understand!? Where is he!?
Bill: I'm... I'm not sure. I don't know!
(Ki throws Bill back and stalks away.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Hybrid Stigmata" is playing, and Delirious, Dreamo and Medea Knight all walk over to the announcing table.)
David: What's going on here? We're scheduled to have Kevin Stone taking on Dusty Schneble momentarily...
(Delirious and Medea put on headsets while Dreamo just sits down and puts his head down on the table.)
Dick: To what do we owe this annoying intrusion?
Medea: We're out here to represent the entire Eccentric Alliance, and if Huh and Cheesecake didn't have a big match, they'd be right here with us. You see, last week Kevin Stone attacked us for no reason at all. Kevin Stone is nothing but a big meanie, and doesn't know how to have fun anymore. That's why we've cooked up a special surprise right here tonight. Isn't that right, Delirious?
Delirious: Ring, ring, ring, bananaphone! Bah!
("At the End of the Rainbow" hits and Kevin Stone makes his way to the ring. He looks over at the Eccentric Alliance and says some inaudible words about them before heading to the ring.)
David: Stone was angry that he didn't win the MECCA Championship at At Your Own Risk...
Medea: And he took it out on us. Kevin Stone needs to be taught a lesson, and I think we can do it.
("Burning Times" hits and Dusty Schneble makes his way to the ring.)
Dick: If you want someone to teach Kevin a lesson, Dusty Schneble could be the guy to do it. He's as tough as they come.
Medea: We have something a little different than what Dusty has in mind, I'm sure.
(FINISH: Throughout the match, whenever Kevin bends over or moves appropriately, a farting sound effect plays. The Eccentric Alliance laugh it up, and Kevin wrestles oblivious. Eventually, Dusty goes for the Rope Burn, but Stone grabs the top rope and blocks it. Dusty gets up behind him, and Stone hits an undetected low blow. He gives Dusty the Stone Cutter and covers for the three count.)
Winner: Kevin Stone
David: Kevin Stone wins after some dastardly tactics, and he is going to be infuriated once he realizes what you've just done out here, Eccentrics.
Medea: That reminds me. We have someplace we've gotta be. See you guys later.
(They throw down their headsets and make a run for it. Kevin looks them oddly, and then sees Dusty getting up. He whips Dusty into the ropes and gives him the Stone Crusher.)
David: Stone continuing his rampage, this time on Dusty Schneble!
(Kevin hits Dusty with rights, but Jay Crowe runs out and slides into the ring. He and Kevin trade punches, and Kevin knees Jay in the midsection. He whips him into the ropes, but Jay reverses. Kevin staggers out and the Pyro Twins set up for Final Darkness, but Stone somersaults to avoid it and slides out of the ring. He gets up on the apron ready to tear into the Pyro Twins, but a host of officials come out to get between them.)
David: Kevin Stone is outnumbered, but he's not backing down! The officials aren't going to let this one get out of hand.
Dick: Absolutely. This is the kind of fight that could snowball into a full-scale riot!
David: We'll be back with our main event, but first Katie Piehl would like to address the MECCA audience.
(Backstage, Katie Piehl is in her office, standing in front of her desk.)
Katie: Hello once again, fans. This is Katie Piehl, one of the owners of MECCA, and I have an announcement concerning our next pay-per-view, Scared Stiff. We have come up with a new type of match for the event, which will be dubbed the Stiff Strike Challenge. Due to the event's name as well as MECCA's reputation as the hardest hitting wrestling promotion today, we feel that this annual event will come to raise the status of whoever wins it. How the match will work is this: it will be a four-way match, every man for himself. There are no submissions, count-outs or DQs. The match emphasizes stiff strikes, and will favor those who can perform them. There is a fifteen minute time limit, and though the match may be ended early via pinfall, if there is no winner at the end of fifteen minutes the man who landed the most striking maneuvers will be declared the winner. In the coming weeks, I will be asking for volunteers from the MECCA locker room to be the guinea pigs for this... the most recent... uh...
(Katie looks back at her desk and then moves it out of the way. Joey Sprinklers is underneath, curled into a ball.)
Katie: Joey, what do you think you're doing?
Joey: Shhh!
Katie: I'm trying to announce the Stiff Strike Challenge, and you're bumping my desk!
Joey: I'm hiding from Low Ki, all right? And now that my cover's been blown, I'm gonna die if I don't get outta here soon! Excuse me.
(He runs from the room, nearly knocking Katie over.)
Katie: Well... I mean... I guess that's all that I... just cut to commercial. Geez.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Ronin Fox is walking down the hallway when he comes across Nykk. His forehead is bandaged up.)
Nykk: Fox, I've been looking for you.
Fox: You have?
Nykk: Listen, I saw you take the Contender Star spot from Alan last week, and I've got to tell you, that was one of the best matches I've seen in MECCA. So now that you're up here amongst the elite, I just thought I'd save you the trouble. It would be an honor for me to defend my title against you at Scared Stiff.
Fox: What? Is this some trick, Alpha Wolf?
Nykk: No tricks. I just want you to know that I do appreciate you working for me, even though we've had our differences in the past.
Fox: All right, let's do this at Scared Stiff. Just know that I'm holding nothing back, and I will leave Dayton, Ohio, our hometown, as the new MECCA Champion.
Nykk: That's what I wanted to hear.
Fox: And about last week... have you found out who attacked you yet?
Nykk: No, but I do know it was definitely not Low Ki. I have it from a reliable source that he was just arriving at the time that I was attacked. The truth is, unless he reveals himself, I may never know. I have too many enemies. Everyone's a suspect... even you.
Fox: Me?
Nykk: I know you haven't forgotten some of the things I've done to you over the years... and neither have I.
Fox: Well, that's true, I haven't forgotten, but you have earned some respect since you started this whole MECCA thing. I hate to admit it, but I could almost start to like you. I'll see you on October 29, champ.
(He walks away.)
(In the arena, "Pajamarama" hits and the Eccentrics make their way to the ring.)
David: What a main event that will be at Scared Stiff... Nykk and Ronin Fox return to Dayton to take on each other, this time with the MECCA Championship up for grabs. But right now it's main event time, and the MECCA Tag Team Titles are on the line!
Dick: The Eccentrics have held tag team gold before in RCW, but MECCA is a different world. If they can get the UKWC to lose their cool like they did earlier, they might even stand a chance.
David: However, the UK Wrecking Crew are undefeated in tag team competition, and their MECCA record is an impressive 12-0. They're definitely a tall order.
("Ironman" hits and the UK Wrecking Crew makes their way to the ring. Halfway down the aisle, they take off the belts and charge the ring.)
David: Nathans and Fletcher aren't waiting any longer! Here we go!
(The teams start trading punches as the bell rings. Cheesecake pairs off with Nathans as Huh dukes it out with Fletcher. Cheesecake clotheslines Nathans over the top rope as Huh gives Fletcher a back body drop. He clotheslines him back down and then gives him a standing legdrop. He covers for a one count. He tags in Cheesecake, and they whip Fletcher into the ropes. They go for a double looper, but Fletcher hooks his arms and legs around the Eccentrics' arms so they can't slam him. Huh and Cheesecake share a brief look and then heave Fletcher's legs over so that he backflips, and they sit out, slamming him to the mat. Fletcher gets up in a corner, and Cheesecake hits him with rights. He whips him to the opposite corner, but Fletcher reverses. Cheesecake hits the turnbuckles and staggers out, only to be dropkicked back into them by Fletcher. Fletcher makes the tag, and Nathans kicks Cheesecake repeatedly. He gives him a vertical suplex but misses the elbow drop. Cheesecake gets up and applies an armwringer. He brings him over to his corner and tags Huh, who goes to the top rope and jumps off, sitting across Nathans's arm. Nathans holds his arm in pain, and Huh kicks at it. He applies an armbar, but Nathans manages to trip him and escape. He bounces off the ropes, and Huh drops down. Huh drops to his back and monkey flips Nathans on the rebound. Nathans gets up in the corner, and Huh hits him with a charging clothesline. He sets Nathans on the top turnbuckle for the Eccentric Chair and gets on the second rope, but Fletcher comes in and forearms Huh across the back. He goes up with him and tries a back suplex from the second rope, but Cheesecake comes in and puts Fletcher on his shoulders. Huh gives Nathans a back suplex, flipping him over into the arms of Fletcher, and Cheesecake lets them both crash to the mat. They make a double cover, but get only a two count. Huh picks up Fletcher as Cheesecake gets back in the corner, but Fletcher rakes the eyes and hits a clothesline. He tags Nathans in, and they give Huh the Crane Swing. He covers and gets a two count. He gives Huh a northern lights suplex and bridges for another two count. He stomps on Huh and then tags Fletcher back in. Fletcher gives Huh a hangman's neckbreaker and then wipes his forehead, flicking sweat at Cheesecake. Cheesecake tries to come in, but referee David Bowers stops them. Nathans and Fletcher hit a double scoop slam on Huh and then Fletcher hits an elbow drop.)
David: It looks like the UK Wrecking Crew has regained control of the situation. We have to take our last commercial break, but we'll be right back!
(Commercial Break)
(Back from break, Nathans has Huh on the mat in a reverse chinlock with one of his legs gravevined. Huh manages to get to his feet after a few moments and elbows Nathans in the ribs. He bounces off the ropes and sends Nathans down with a standing avalanche. He whips Nathans into a corner and hits a running avalanche, followed by a bulldog. Huh crawls toward his corner, but Fletcher comes in to distract Bowers. Huh makes the tag to Cheesecake, but Bowers prevents him from getting at the UKWC. Nathans and Fletcher drape Huh across the top rope and then hit their moonsault kick/rolling legdrop combo. Huh falls to the floor, and Fletcher goes out after him while Nathans provokes Cheesecake. Fletcher rams Huh into the post and then rolls him into the ring. Fletcher tags in, and gives Huh a snap suplex. He goes to the top rope and hits a guillotine legdrop, making a cocky cover for the two count. Fletcher tags Nathans back in, and they prepare for their springboard kneedrop/release German combo. Fletcher forearms Huh in the back of the head to bend him over and waistlocks him. Nathans springboards to the top rope, but Huh rolls forward and Fletcher goes with him, taking the kneedrop. Huh gets up and hits a shoulderblock on Nathans, sending them both down. He crawls to his corner and tags Cheesecake, who comes in and clotheslines Nathans. He scoop slams Fletcher and then hits a falling headbutt. He ducks a clothesline from Nathans and hits a spinebuster. He suplexes Fletcher onto Nathans, and Fletcher rolls out of the ring. He tries to suplex Nathans, but he escapes and whips Cheesecake into the ropes. Cheesecake takes him over with a crucifix, and lets Nathans roll through. He gives Nathans a drop toehold and segues into a front facelock and goes for the Long Kiss Goodnight. Fletcher comes in, but Cheesecake ducks the clothesline and Fletcher hits the turnbuckles. Nathans tries to counter into a clothesline, but Cheesecake ducks and whips him front first into the corner. He whips Fletcher into him, and Huh comes in, charging and hitting a double knee strike to Fletcher's chest. Fletcher falls away, and Cheesecake gives Nathans a lungblower. He then gives him the Long Kiss Goodnight, and Huh goes up top. He goes for the moonsault, but Nathans gets his knees up. Fletcher tries clotheslines him through the ropes, but Huh moves and Fletcher nails Bowers. Fletcher immediately turns around and dropkicks Huh, who goes through the ropes. Cheesecake waistlocks him, going for the Screw-Driver. Nathans dropkicks the back of the knee and Cheesecake goes down. The UKWC hit the Wrecking Ball, and they brag that it's over. Suddenly, Nykk hits the ring, looking very pissed off. He kicks Fletcher and gives him a tiger slam. Nathans charges him, but gets a running European Uppercut. Nykk sends Huh back off the apron with a back elbow and starts throwing a tantrum.)
David: Nykk's out here now. He seems very angry.
Dick: I don't know who attacked him, but Nykk's definitely sending a message to whoever was involved... wait a minute!
(Low Ki suddenly slides in the ring and kicks Nykk in the leg. Nykk goes down, and Ki starts giving him Kawada Kicks. However, Ronin Fox runs out and tackles Low Ki and they go out of the ring, trading rights and chops. Nathans baseball slides into Nykk, sending him out of the ring. At that moment, the Pyro Twins walk out onto the building's balcony with mics and paintball guns.)
Jay: Hey! UK Wrecking Crew!
(They look up at the Pyro Twins.)
Jay: I know we can't come within fifty feet of you, but if you measure this building carefully, you'll find that this balcony is well over fifty feet from the ring! And we've been out paintballing all day, and to tell you the truth, our game is a little rusty. So we thought we'd get a little extra practice in!
(They take aim at the ring, and Nathans and Fletcher tell them they'd better not. The Pyro Twins open fire, and Nathans and Fletcher start dodging paint bullets. They stay free from harm until Nathans gets nailed in the chest. Red paint gets all over him, and he backs up into a German suplex from Cheesecake as Huh gives Fletcher a backwards spear. Cheesecake bridges, and Bowers rolls into the ring, making the three count.)
Winners: The Eccentrics
David: I don't believe it! We have new MECCA Tag Team Champions!
Dick: Thanks to the interference of everybody and their brother, including some long distance interference from the Pyro Twins!
David: Ladies and gentlemen, we have witnessed the very first title change in Go Time history! In addition to that, this means that Fletcher and Nathans are now 12-1! The Eccentrics are the new tag champs, and ended the UKWC's undefeated streak! What will the UK Wrecking Crew have to say about this? We'll have to find out next week, because we're out of time. Good night, fans!
(The Eccentrics hug and hold up the belts in the aisle as the UKWC yells at the Pyro Twins, who are laughing at the situation.)