("Neocon" opening.)
David: Hello, everyone, we're off and running with Go Time, once again coming from the homefront here in Dayton, Ohio! I'm David Mills, along with Dick Broccoli, and we have a MECCA Championship match for your main event, a first here on Go Time!
Dick: That's right. Due to winning the Wild Card Battle Royale last week, Spanky will challenge C.M. Punk for the title.
David: We'll also see Kelly Schweickart take on LuFisto, no doubt looking to get to Shadow through her henchwoman.
Dick: She's also no doubt looking for a Ladies' Title shot.
David: All that, and a tag team title match starting right now!
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric and Kevin Stone make their way to the ring.)
David: We're getting the match we were originally supposed to get at Midsummer Night Slam, as Kevin Stone and Cynric earned a tag title shot by beating the Pyro Twins a few weeks back.
Dick: Kevin teamed with Alan Mayse at Midsummer Night Slam, but they were unable to dethrone the UK Wrecking Crew. We'll see how well Kevin does with his regular tag team partner.
("Ironman" hits and the UK Wrecking Crew makes their way to the ring.)
David: The undefeated Jack Fletcher and Andy Nathans are putting their titles on the line once again.
Dick: Say what you will, but they are fighting champions.
David: Yeah, unless your team is named the Pyro Twins.
(FINISH: Kevin gets the hot tag and clotheslines Nathans. He gives Fletcher a back body drop, and whips Nathans into the corner, hitting a running clothesline. He ducks a right from Fletcher and lifts him for a back suplex, dropping him face first to the mat at the last second. He catches Nathans with a spinning chokeslam and makes the cover, but Fletcher breaks it up. Cynric comes back in and gives Fletcher a spinning heel kick. Nathans ducks a spin kick and gives Cynric a hard right, staggering him. Kevin moves over as referee Keith Young tells Cynric to leave. Nathans low blows Kevin, and he falls to his knees, crouching on all fours. Cynric sees what happens and shoves the ref aside, going for a Lift Off from Kevin's back. However, Kevin spots Fletcher coming back in, and gets up, and Cynric accidentally gives his own partner a running knee. Fletcher tackles Cynric through the ropes and Nathans covers Kevin to get the three count.)
Winners: The UK Wrecking Crew
David: The UKWC retains again, after an unfortunate mishap on the part of Kevin Stone and Cynric.
Dick: It happens sometimes in tag team wrestling.
(The UK Wrecking Crew leaves as Kevin starts berating Cynric.)
David: Kevin has to be frustrated. He's come so close to winning the tag titles in the past couple of weeks.
(Cynric apologizes to Kevin, who walks around the ring, showing frustration. Finally, he offers to help Cynric up. He pulls him to his feet, but suddenly pulls him in to hit the spinning chokeslam.)
David: What the hell is this!?
Dick: He just chokeslammed his partner!
(Kevin looks down at Cynric's body and spits on him before leaving the ring.)
David: What is going on here? There may be more to this story than just Kevin being frustrated.
Dick: The fans are booing and rightfully so. What is he thinking? This is a Kevin Stone I haven't seen in a long time.
David: We'll be right back, fans. We'll see if we can get to the bottom of this.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell runs to catch up with Kevin Stone, who has his bags and is walking out of the building.)
Bill: Kevin! Kevin, we just saw you lose out there and then attack your own partner. What's going on?
(Kevin keeps on walking.)
Kevin: Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it.
Bill: Surely you can't condone attacking a man who's down, much less your own friend.
Kevin: I'm sick of this. I'm going back to being me. That's all you really need to know.
(He leaves the building.)
(In the arena, "Hit That" hits and Joey Sprinklers skateboards his way to the ring.)
David: We're back, and what did Kevin mean by the fact that he's going back to being himself?
Dick: I don't know, but I'm sure we'll find out next week as I'm sure Cynric has something to say about it.
David: Meanwhile, we've got Joey Sprinklers down here, and I hear we have a new competitor in MECCA making his debut.
("Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics hits and Medea Knight comes through the curtain. Dreamo stumbles his way through the curtain, rubbing at his eyes and wearing pajamas while clutching a pillow. Medea comes back and leads him to the ring by the hand, carrying an alarm clock.)
Dick: What in the hell...
David: This is Dreamo, as I understand it.
Dick: He looks like he just got out of bed!
David: His manager is named Medea Knight... yeah, he looks like he was just napping in the back.
(In the ring, Joey Sprinklers is laughing.)
David: I can't say that this looks like a hot, young prospect, but let's wait and see how he does against Joey Sprinklers.
(FINISH: Dreamo lackadaisically wrestles his way through the match, and finally Joey is able to whip him into the corner and give him several knees to the midsection. He backs off to get his skateboard, and Dreamo slumps against the ropes. After several moments of no movement, Medea jumps on the apron with the alarm clock and sets it off in his ear just as Joey rides his skateboard out of the corner for a skateboarding clothesline. Dreamo springs to life and charges Joey, knocking him off the skateboard with a clothesline of his own. He bounces off the ropes and gives Joey a running bulldog. He covers and gets a two count. He goes for a suplex, but Joey escapes and pushes him into the ropes. He kicks Dreamo and bounces off the ropes, but Dreamo hits a flapjack. He bounces off the ropes and gives Joey a double stomp to the midsection. He bounces off the other side and gives him another double stomp. He continues to bounce off the ropes, delivering a rolling senton, a kneedrop, and finally a legdrop. He covers and gets the three count.)
Winner: Dreamo
David: The unorthodox Dreamo picks up the victory over Joey Sprinklers, a very surprised and frustrated man. I'm reading here that he calls that series of moves the, er... Dream Sequence.
Dick: I'll say. He hasn't won a match yet, and he just lost another one to this weirdo!
(In the ring, Dreamo is still covering Joey. Referee David Bowers nudges him, but he's not budging. Medea finally brings the alarm clock in and sets it off. Dreamo staggers to his feet, and she hands him his pillow. He stumbles out of the ring, yawning up the aisle.)
David: Narcoleptic problems or not, Dreamo seems to be formidable competitor. Right now, we're going to hear from Low Ki.
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is standing by with Low Ki.)
Bill: Low Ki, at Midsummer Night Slam you beat Nykk in one of the best matches of the evening. Do you feel you're ready for your shot at the MECCA Championship?
Low Ki: Of course I'm ready for a title shot, Bill. I've been ready since Day One. But I can't do it while I have Nykk on my back, hounding me for a rematch. Ever since I beat his ass, he's been calling me, emailing me... it's too much, Bill. I can't sleep at night because the phone keeps ringing. Nykk, I beat you clean at Midsummer Night Slam. Accept it and move on. I have bigger fish to fry here in MECCA, and you can just...
(Nykk suddenly walks up to Low Ki.)
Nykk: What, Low Ki? What can I do? You beat me at Midsummer Night Slam, yes, no excuses there. But what you didn't beat was my will to win, my will to beat you specifically. So I propose that we have a rematch at Liberty or Death on July 30... you and me, one more time.
Low Ki: Why should I face you again, Nykk? I already beat you.
Nykk: Ah, but here's where it gets better. I just talked to Katie Piehl, and she said that if this match goes through, the winner gets the next available MECCA Title shot, provided the winner is still on the Contender Star. What do you say?
Low Ki: What do I say? I say it won't be a problem to drive your neck into the mat again and establish my dominance before I dismantle whoever the MECCA Champion is, whether it's C.M. Punk or Spanky. I'll see you on the 30th.
(Nykk nods in approval, but suddenly Low Ki gives him a lightning roundhouse kick that sends Nykk to his back. Low Ki quickly applies the Dragon Clutch as officials come in to pull him off.)
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, the Eccentric Alliance is hanging out in the locker room.)
Spanky: Did you guys see that Dreamo guy? That is one cool dude, you know what I’m saying?
Delirious: Bah!
Huh: Huh?
Delirious: Buh?
Huh: Hah!
Cheesecake: Enough, guy'th! Th'panky, you have a title shot against Punk tonight. I may be on the Contender Th'tar, but I can assure you I'm th'till behind you one hundred percent!
Spanky: That doesn't really comfort me for some reason...
Cheesecake: Anyway, I just want to make sure that I can count on the first title shot after you become the champ. Agreed?
Spanky: You got it, buddy.
(They shake hands.)
(In the arena, "Fell in Love with a Girl" hits and LuFisto makes her way to the ring, along with Gail Kim.)
David: As we just saw before the break, Low Ki once again has laid out Nykk in the back, and I hear he's raging about it.
Dick: It's a situation we've seen many times in the past couple of months. Nykk should cut his losses while he still has solids on the inside of his head.
David: Right now we've got LuFisto in action, representing the Dangerous Liaison, which is apparently now led by Shadow, the Ladies' Champion.
Dick: The First Lady of Hardcore is definitely a potential contender for the Ladies' Title, and Kelly Schweickart could be also, if she pulls off a victory here.
("Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweickart makes her way to the ring.)
David: Kelly got absolutely brutalized last week by Shadow and the Dangerous Liaison, and she's ready for some revenge.
Dick: Well, she better tread carefully. With Lisa Letty still not back, she has no allies to take on Shadow and her crew.
(FINISH: Kelly misses the Kelly Cyclone, and Gail Kim gets on the apron to distract referee Nikki Alvarado. LuFisto clotheslines Kelly and then goes outside, getting a chair. She gets in the ring and swings at Kelly, who ducks. Kelly kicks LuFisto and bounces off the ropes, giving her a somersault kick down onto the chair. Kelly then dropkicks Gail off the apron and climbs the turnbuckles, hitting the Kelly Cyclone on LuFisto and covering for the three count.)
Winner: Kelly Schweickart
David: Kelly picks up a big victory over LuFisto after the interference of Gail Kim and a steel chair backfired.
Dick: That's not right. This match should be restarted right now.
David: That's not the way it works. Now Kelly Schweickart certainly has a claim to a title shot. Ladies and gentlemen, when we come back, we'll see the first MECCA Championship contest in this program's history. Don't go away!
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, LuFisto is fuming. Shadow and Gail Kim are standing beside her.)
LuFisto: I can't believe it. I was this close to taking her out, Shadow!
Shadow: It's all right. You'll get her next time.
LuFisto: But my title shot. How can I get it now that I lost to her?
Shadow: Hey, what did I tell you two months ago? We're the Dangerous Liaison, and we take care of our own. As champion, I have the option of accepting any challenges that come my way. Do you have the guts to challenge me?
LuFisto: Well... yeah.
Shadow: Good, then next week, for my Ladies' Title match, I choose for my first opponent... you, LuFisto.
(LuFisto smiles.)
LuFisto: Hey. Thanks.
Shadow: You really thought I was going to give that rookie Kelly a shot? This title is mine, and I'll decide who deserves a shot at me.
(She and LuFisto shake hands.)
(In the arena, "Danger! High Voltage" hits and Spanky makes his way to the ring.)
David: We're set for our main event, a MECCA Championship contest. Spanky won the Wild Card Battle Royale last week, giving him this opportunity, even though he's not on the Contender Star.
Dick: And what an opportunity. I can't wait for this match.
("Miseria Cantare" hits and C.M. Punk makes his way to the ring.)
David: Here comes the champion, C.M. Punk... so far, he's successfully defended that belt against Alan Mayse and Cynric, but this is his first time defending it on Go Time.
Dick: Punk has had some great matches as champion, but as also come close to losing that title in both encounters that he's had. Hopefully, he won't underestimate Spanky.
David: Now we'll go up to ring announcer Jared Schrunk for the introductions.
Jared: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event of Go Time, scheduled for one fall and for the MECCA Heavyweight Championship! To my left, is the challenger! From Olympia, Washington and weighing in at 175 lbs and representing the Eccentric Alliance... Spaaaaanky! And his opponent... from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 220 lbs... he is the leader of SELF, and the MECCA Heavyweight Champion... C.M. Puuuuunk!
(FINISH: Punk goes for the Anaconda Vice, but Spanky counters into an Oklahoma Roll for a two count. He gives Punk a flying forearm and then a leg lariat. He goes for Sliced Bread #2, but Punk throws him off. Punk goes for Welcome to Chicago, but Spanky counters with a hurricanrana. He hooks Punk and hits Sliced Bread #2, but only gets a two count. Spanky can't believe it, and goes for another one, but Punk shoves him into the turnbuckles, and hits a lariat to the back of the head. Punk props Spanky up on the top turnbuckle and goes for a backwards Pepsi Plunge. However, Spanky fights out of it and hits Sliced Bread #2 from the top rope. He covers, but Eddie Crowe runs down and pulls Spanky off. Spanky rolls out of the ring and shoves Eddie down as Punk gets a chain out of his boot. Spanky rolls back in, but ducks the chain shot. He dropkicks Punk, who lets go of the chain. Referee Keith Young sees it and takes it, motioning to Jared at ringside to come over to take it. Eddie enters the ring behind and hits Spanky in the back of the head with a chain of his own, and Punk gives him the Pepsi Twist, covering for the three count.)
Winner: C.M. Punk
David: Punk retains after interference from his student Eddie Crowe. What a shame, we were having a nice, competitive match until he interjected himself.
Dick: Bottom line is Punk is still the MECCA Champion.
David: The Eccentric Alliance will surely have something to say about this, but we're out of time. Thank you for joining us, and we'll see you again next week. Good night!