("Neocon" opening.)
David: Welcome to Go Time, everyone! I'm David Mills, along with Dick Broccoli, and we're coming to you from the homefront, Dayton, Ohio, at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds. Big news tonight, as we found out that next week, C.M. Punk will be defending the MECCA Championship. Just who the challenger is will be decided tonight in a Wild Card Battle Royale!
Dick: And what that means is that fifteen men who are not on the Contender Star will try and take each other out for a chance at the champ. This is a golden opportunity for just that without having to earn your way up into the Contender Star.
David: Plus, we'll hear from our new Ladies' Champion as of this past Saturday, Shadow. More on that sickening situation when the time comes.
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric makes his way to the ring.)
David: Here comes the man who took C.M. Punk to his limit this past Saturday at Midsummer Night Slam, and even had him beaten, but he did not win the MECCA Championship.
Dick: It was a controversial call, but the bottom line is Punk is still our champion.
(Cynric gets a mic.)
Cynric: Cut the music. This past Saturday, I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about my opponent, C.M. Punk. I may not have the title, but I did learn the most important thing of my career: I am good enough to be a champion. And for all you fans who stood behind me, thank you, and even to those of you who cheered Punk over me in Chicago. But what I came out here to do is to say two things. The first is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting all of you down who rooted for me and gave me that adrenaline rush to keep Punk's shoulders down for the three count. The second is, I make a promise. The next time I get a shot at the MECCA Championship, I will not let anyone down. I acquired a taste for the gold when I almost had it in my hands at Midsummer Night Slam. The next time...
("Fighter's Passion" interrupts Cynric and Low Ki makes his way to the ring.)
David: Uh oh... this can't be good.
Dick: What are you talking about?
David: Low Ki is coming off a victory over Nykk at Midsummer Night Slam, but every time he comes out here someone ends up getting helped out of the arena.
(Low Ki gets a mic.)
Low Ki: Excuse me for interrupting... but I fail to comprehend exactly why you're out here whining about losing to C.M. Punk. You lost your match at Midsummer Night Slam... and I won mine. What I want to know is why I have not gotten a championship match yet? After six months in MECCA, coming close to winning the Round Robin, got on the Contender Star, and then beat Nykk last Saturday, when is my title match? Cynric, you had an opportunity and you lost. It's time for you to get out of the way and let others take their chances.
Cynric: Look, Low Ki... I'm not in the best of spirits right now. I'm trying to open my heart to all these fans, so why don't you just step off right now before I make you step off?
(He shoves Low Ki, who just starts laughing.)
David: It's breaking down already.
(Low Ki moves to shove Cynric back, but instead spins and sweeps his legs. Cynric rolls out of the way of a big stomp and throws some strikes. Low Ki blocks them all and sends Cynric down with a roundhouse kick to the head. He starts giving him Kawada Kicks and then bounces off the ropes, hitting a rolling koppo kick. However, Nykk suddenly runs out and spears Low Ki into the corner. He hits him with right hands. Low Ki covers up, but Nykk knees him in the midsection and then backs up, giving him a running European Uppercut.)
Dick: Nykk is out here to exact some revenge... look out!
(Nykk turns around and walks into a clothesline from C.M. Punk. He gives Nykk Welcome to Chicago as Low Ki picks Cynric up and gives him the Ki Krusher. Punk locks Nykk in the Anaconda Vice as Low Ki applies a figure four. Nykk taps out, and several refs and officials come out to break it up.)
David: Low Ki and C.M. Punk have just laid out Nykk and Cynric. We'll be right back when we get this all cleared up!
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Queen Bee" by Li'l Kim hits and the Dangerous Liaison make their way to the ring, with Shadow leading the way with the Ladies' Title.)
David: We're back, and this is the sickening situation we were talking about earlier. At Midsummer Night Slam, Shadow joined the Dangerous Liaison in beating down Lisa Letty, which culminated in Shadow becoming the new Ladies' Champion.
Dick: That was a surprise for sure, especially since Shadow's been so vocally against the Dangerous Liaison for the past few weeks.
David: We just got big news that due to what happened earlier, tonight there will be a big tag match. Nykk and Cynric will take on C.M. Punk and Low Ki, so be sure to stay with us for that, later.
(Shadow gets a mic.)
Shadow: Well, does anyone notice anything different about me? I know what you're all thinking. "Shadow, how could you betray your friend Lisa Letty? That was horrible! What kind of person are you?" Lisa, if you haven't learned by now not to trust anyone in this business, then you had no business bearing this standard for the ladies' division to begin with. The truth is, I've had this planned for months. I was the real power behind the Dangerous Liaison. Since there is no structure of contendership in the ladies' division, I took it upon myself to create this group in an effort to control the Ladies' Title. I put together a group of hard working girls who can get preferential treatment as far as title shots go. And that's just the way it is, Lisa. If you're not part of the group, you have no say on who the title belongs to.
David: There are other ladies in this company besides you four. What's she trying to pull?
Shadow: But I'll tell you what. I'm so hyped up after Midsummer Night Slam, that tonight I'm issuing an open challenge. Any of you ladies in the back who want to face me, come on out here... it will be non-title, but a Shadow has fallen over MECCA, and this Shadow wants a fight!
("Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweickart makes her way to the ring, not looking enthusiastic like she usually does.)
David: Kelly Schweickart just came through the curtain, and she looks a little sullen. Obviously, she's as upset as we all are at Shadow's actions.
Dick: Speak for yourself, I thought what she did was great.
(Kelly gets a mic.)
Kelly: Shadow, how could you? After all the three of us have been through in the last five or six months, fighting off these other three goons... you'd turn your back on our friendship? On your friendship with Lisa? For what? A championship? You were good enough to win that title on your own.
Shadow: I don't need a lecture on how to conduct myself from you, rookie.
Kelly: Maybe not. Maybe I'm out of line, but you said you wanted a fight, and if that's the way it's going to be, I'll be more than willing to take you up on that. This one's for Lisa!
(She throws down her mic and tackles Shadow as referee Rya Zay runs down and calls for the bell.)
David: It looks like we're having this match right now. Kelly Schweickart vs. Shadow!
(FINISH: Kelly manages to hit Shadow with a Falcon Arrow and goes to the top rope for the Kelly Cyclone. However, Shadow distracts Rya while LuFisto pushes Kelly off the top rope. Kelly gets up and kicks at LuFisto, but gets caught from behind with a dragon sleeper by Shadow. Kelly grabs the ropes, but Shadow pulls her off and drops back into a body scissors. Rya tries to make her break the hold, but Shadow won't let go. Rya gives her a five count and then calls for the bell.)
Winner: Kelly Schweickart
David: Shadow's been disqualified, but she still has that sleeper applied on Kelly!
(Finally, Shadow releases the sleeper. The Dangerous Liaison gets in the ring and pulls Kelly up. Misery gives her Miserable Times, and then LuFisto and Gail Kim give her a double slingshot suplex. They hold her up for Shadow, who dusts off her elbow to mock Kelly and then backs up, hitting the Interceptor. "Queen Bee" plays as the Dangerous Liaison poses.)
David: The Dangerous Liaison has just laid out poor Kelly. It was a four on one situation, so I hope they're happy with their work.
Dick: The Dangerous Liaison has just become a major force here in MECCA.
David: When we come back, we'll have that big tag match. Nykk and Cynric vs. Low Ki and C.M. Punk. Don't go away!
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is standing by with Cheesecake.)
Bill: I'm here with Cheesecake, who by virtue of his victory over Eddie Crowe this past Saturday at Midsummer Night Slam, is now on the Contender Star. Cheesecake, congratulations, and when do you plan on making your bid for a title match?
Cheesecake: Thank you, Bill, and I promise you, I plan on petitioning for a title shot against Th'ee.M. Punk as th'oon as possible.
Bill: But you realize that if one of your friends in the Eccentric Alliance were to win the Wild Card Battle Royale tonight, then beat Punk for the title next week, you'd be looking at a friend as a potential opponent.
Cheesecake: When the time comes, I'll worry about that. Right now I'm th'erving notice to everyone in MECCA that Chee'th'cake is ready to make his impression on this industry. I'll take my shot against Punk, and win or lose, th'omeone's going down!
Bill: Cheesecake, good luck in the future. Let's get back to ringside.
(In the arena, "Miseria Cantare" is playing and C.M. Punk is in the ring.)
David: We're back on Go Time, and Cheesecake sounds ready to go for the brass ring, which is the MECCA Heavyweight Championship.
Dick: He's not out of the woods yet. He still has to get by this man, which is something the likes of Nykk, Alan Mayse and Cynric have not been able to do.
("Fighter's Passion" hits and Low Ki makes his way to the ring.)
David: Low Ki attacked Cynric earlier on, which brought out Nykk and Punk. Thus, this match.
Dick: Low Ki is a dangerous enemy to make. Both Nykk and Cynric better beware, and Punk for that matter too. Low Ki still wants his title shot.
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric charges to the ring, sliding in and attacking Low Ki. Punk retaliates, and they double team Cynric.)
David: Cynric couldn't wait to get at these two, but he should have waited for his partner to come out!
("Destroy" hits and Nykk sprints to the ring, hitting Low Ki with a running leg lariat.)
Dick: Looks like these two aren't even going to wait for the bell!
(FINISH: Cynric gets the hot tag and takes down Low Ki and Punk with kicks and strikes. He whips Punk into the ropes and hits a rolling koppo kick. He gives Low Ki an inverted atomic drop and sweeps the legs. He goes to the top rope and hits an elbow smash, covering. However, Punk breaks up the count, which brings in Nykk. They whip Punk into the ropes, but Low Ki pulls Nykk out of the ring. Cynric kicks Punk and lifts him for the Shock Cannon, but Low Ki slides in and clips Cynric's knee. However, he's unable to get away in time and Cynric falls back, with Punk landing directly on top of Low Ki. Cynric lifts Low Ki for the Shock Cannon, and Nykk comes off the top rope, spiking Low Ki into the mat as Cynric hits the move. Cynric covers and gets the three count.)
Winners: Nykk and Cynric
David: Nykk and Cynric get some measure of revenge for the defeats they suffered at Midsummer Night Slam. What a contest.
Dick: These two make a pretty good team when they forget that they don't like each other.
(Backstage, Delirious, Huh and Spanky are in the locker room chatting when Cheesecake walks in.)
Cheesecake: Hey, guy'th.
Spanky: Hey. Great interview, man. When I win the MECCA Championship match next week, you'll be the first person I give a title shot to.
(Delirious taps him on the shoulder.)
Delirious: No, no, no, no. Me! Me! Me! Bah!
(They look expectantly at Huh.)
Huh: Huh?
Cheesecake: Anyway, if any of you guys beat Punk, I'll be glad to take that belt off your hands. You do realize that tonight you can't work together, right? It's every man for himself.
(Delirious and Huh look confused, but Spanky nods.)
Spanky: Yeah. Look, guys, no matter what happens, we've got each other's backs again after tonight, right?
Huh: Huh?
Cheesecake: Just shake his hand.
(Spanky and Huh shake hands, and then Spanky takes Delirious's hand, though he looks like what Spanky is doing is completely foreign to him. Huh then shakes Delirious's hand, and Delirious discretely wipes his hand on his tights.)
Delirious: Bah.
Spanky: My thoughts exactly.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is standing by with Kevin Stone.)
Bill: Kevin, at Midsummer Night Slam you and Alan Mayse failed to win the tag team belts, but tonight you have an even better opportunity in the Wild Card Battle Royale. If you win, you'll face C.M. Punk next week for the MECCA Championship.
Kevin: Yes, Midsummer Night Slam was disappointing, but tonight Kevin Stone ascends to the next level here in MECCA by taking this battle royale and beating C.M. Punk next week. That's not to say I couldn't get on the Contender Star if I had the opportunity, but this way will be much quicker. Punk, you've held onto that belt for long enough. When I take it off of you, I'm bringing it back to the state of Ohio, the home front. Tonight's my night, Bill. I can feel it.
(He leaves.)
(In the arena, "Entre dos Tierras" is playing, and Kaientai Deluxe is making their way to the ring, along with David Caldwell. The Ballard Brothers, Trent Acid, Delirious, Huh and Joey Sprinklers are already in the ring.)
David: We're all set for the Wild Card Battle Royale, and it looks like Kaientai DX are finally back! But so's that scab David Caldwell, and that just puts a damper on the whole thing.
Dick: Togo's been in Japan for a couple of months, and Teioh's finally back from the injured list. What an opportunity for them.
("The Leaving Song Part II" hits and Eddie Crowe and the Pyro Twins make their way to the ring.)
David: Here comes the rest of SELF, with Trent Acid already in the ring, who were commanded by C.M. Punk to win this battle royale.
Dick: He may have commanded Jay and Dusty to do something, but I wouldn't put any money on either of the Pyro Twins throwing this opportunity away.
("Danger! High Voltage" hits and Spanky makes his way to the ring.)
David: Here comes perhaps the most intelligent member of the Eccentric Alliance. Spanky acts weird, but about three quarters of that is just a façade. This guy knows this business, and has had great success.
Dick: I would definitely love a Punk vs. Spanky match next week. He has the talent to win it all here in MECCA.
("Ironman" hits and the UK Wrecking Crew make their way to the ring.)
David: Speaking of championships, the tag team champs are on their way down, and both of them would love to be MECCA Champion.
Dick: Nathans and Fletcher are undefeated in tag team competition. They've had mixed results so far as singles competitors. Winning this could be the shot in the arm that propels them into the upper echelon.
("Smoke on the Water" hits and Kevin Stone makes is way to the ring.)
David: Here comes the last participant, Kevin Stone, who was brimming with confidence earlier.
Dick: Here's another guy with the talent to beat C.M. Punk. Let's see how he fares in this battle royale environment.
David: This Wild Card Battle Royale gets underway when we return!
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, the bell rings and everyone starts to brawl. Dusty and Jay immediately go for the UK Wrecking Crew, but Jay's intercepted with a hard forearm from Kevin, and Dusty gets taken down by Huh. The UK Wrecking Crew beat down Shannon Ballard and then easily toss him over the top rope and to the floor. Dick Togo tries to throw Eddie out, but Eddie holds on and takes him over the top rope. Togo hits the floor while Eddie slides back in. A few minutes later, Trent Acid charges Spanky, but gets backdropped over the top rope and to the floor. Dusty fights off Shane Ballard just as Jay gives Joey an STO. They go for the UK Wrecking Crew again, who are trying to eliminate Huh. They break up the elimination attempt, but Shane Ballard hits them from behind. The Pyro Twins stare at him for a moment with hatred, and he tries to run. However, Dusty grabs him by the hair and they lift him and drop, clotheslining him across the top rope. They give him a double clothesline over the top and to the floor. Seconds later, Kevin hits Jay with a spinebuster and then deadlifts Dusty, throwing him out of the ring. As Jay asks Dusty what just happened, the UK Wrecking Crew sneak up behind him and dump him over the top rope. Meanwhile, Spanky and Delirious are trying to eliminate Huh. Spanky suddenly turns on Delirious and dumps him over the top rope and to the floor. Men's Teioh charges Kevin, but he grabs him by the hair and tosses him out. Huh grapples with Eddie when a paper cup comes sailing in from the audience. It hits Huh in the head, and he goes over the top rope. However, he manages to hang on and gets up on the apron, celebrating. However, another paper cup comes from a different side of the arena, hitting him in the head and sending him down to the floor. Nathans and Fletcher double team Kevin, and Fletcher holds him up. Nathans goes for a running dropkick, but Kevin moves and Fletcher gets nailed, sailing over the top and to the floor. As Nathans is chagrined, Kevin grabs him and tosses him out.)
David: Well, we're down to the final four, which are Kevin Stone, Spanky, Eddie Crowe, and surprisingly, Joey Sprinklers.
Dick: The kid's got heart. Wouldn't it be something if this were his first victory in MECCA? Eddie desperately wants a win after losing his spot on the Contender Star this past Saturday.
David: Wouldn't it be embarrassing for Punk if Joey were to win tonight and then take the title next week?
(Kevin pairs off with Eddie as Joey and Spanky go at it. Joey kicks Spanky and goes for Da Sprinklanator, but Spanky escapes and hooks Joey's head, hitting the Sliced Bread #2. Joey bounces back to his feet near the ropes, as Eddie breaks away from Kevin and clotheslines Joey over the top rope and to the floor. Eddie ducks a clothesline from Kevin and dropkicks the knee. Kevin goes down, and Spanky tries a leg lariat, but Eddie blocks. He gives Spanky a back elbow and then a Gutwrench Driver. He goes to the top rope, but Kevin catches him. He tries to throw him out of the ring, but only succeeds in crotching Eddie on the top rope. Spanky springboards off the second turnbuckle and kicks Eddie in the back of the head to send him to the floor. Spanky and Kevin immediately go toe to toe with right hands, but Kevin wins that battle. He whips Spanky into the ropes and lifts him for the Stone Cutter, but Spanky avoids it and grabs a waistlock. He tries to hoist Kevin up over the top, and surprisingly, almost gets him up. However, Kevin hangs onto the top rope. He elbows Spanky and then goes up to the second rope, hitting a clothesline. He whips Spanky into the ropes and plants him with a spinning chokeslam. He tells the crowd it's done, and picks Spanky up. He tosses him over the top rope, but Spanky manages to hold on. Kevin bounces off the ropes and drives a knee into Spanky's midsection, but he still holds on while on the apron. Kevin peppers Spanky with rights, but Spanky still holds on, barely conscious. Kevin signals for a big boot and bounces off the ropes. However, Spanky finally passes out and falls to the apron, pulling the top rope with him. Kevin kicks air and loses his balance straddling the top rope, falling to the floor.)
Order of Elimination:
1. Shannon Ballard (by Nathans and Fletcher)
2. Dick Togo (by Eddie Crowe)
3. Trent Acid (by Spanky)
4. Shane Ballard (by Dusty and Jay)
5. Dusty Schneble (by Kevin Stone)
6. Jay Crowe (by Nathans and Fletcher)
7. Delirious (by Spanky)
8. Men's Teioh (by Kevin Stone)
9. Huh (by a paper cup combo)
10. Jack Fletcher (by Andy Nathans)
11. Andy Nathans (by Kevin Stone)
12. Joey Sprinklers (by Eddie Crowe)
13. Eddie Crowe (by Spanky)
14. Kevin Stone (by Spanky)
15. Winner: Spanky
David: The winner is Spanky! We could have an Eccentric as MECCA Champion after next week!
Dick: What a travesty! And what bad luck for Stone, for Spanky to finally pass out just as he was about to deliver the killing blow.
(Kevin walks up the aisle, his head in his hands. Huh, Delirious and Cheesecake pass by him and pull Spanky back into the ring, reviving him as "La Macarena" plays.)
David: The Eccentric Alliance is going to celebrate.
Dick: That's one party I'm not going to.
David: That's okay. You weren't invited anyway. Fans, next week it will be Spanky vs. C.M. Punk for the MECCA Championship. We're out of time until then. Good night!