("Neocon" opening.)
David: We're counting down the days until June 25, when MECCA returns to pay-per-view with Midsummer Night Slam, headlined by C.M. Punk vs. Cynric for the MECCA Championship. Hello everyone, and welcome to Go Time. I'm David Mills, along with Dick Broccoli, and we've got a six-man tag team main event for you tonight.
Dick: That's right. Cynric will team up with the Eccentrics to take on SELF members C.M. Punk, Eddie Crowe and Trent Acid.
David: In addition to that, Low Ki will take on Spanky, plus much more.
("Hybrid Stigmata" hits and Delirious makes his way to the ring.)
David: One half of Reckless Abandon and part of the Eccentric Alliance is here, and he's tweakin' out!
Dick: He and the Eccentric Alliance go together like peas in a pod. It's amazing this idiot can even find the arena.
("Ironman" hits and Jack Fletcher makes his way to the ring, along with Andy Nathans.)
David: One half of the tag team champions, Jack Fletcher, is set to go one on one with Delirious, but what's Nathans doing out here?
Dick: The bigger question is, where is Spanky? You know the UK Wrecking Crew have something up their sleeves.
David: Spanky's obviously in the back preparing for his match with Low Ki later. This unfortunately leaves Delirious alone with the tag champs.
(FINISH: Delirious goes to the top rope but gets crotched by Fletcher. He goes up for a superplex, but Delirious bites his forehead and then shoves him off. He hits Shadows Over Hell and covers, but Nathans drapes Fletcher's foot over the bottom rope. Delirious gives Nathans a baseball slide and then goes to dropkick Fletcher, who moves. Delirious nails referee Keith Young, and gets kicked by Fletcher. Fletcher drapes Delirious over the top rope and he and Nathans hit London Fog. Delirious drops to the center of the ring, where Fletcher gives him the Union Jack as Young wakes up. Fletcher covers and gets the three count.)
Winner: Jack Fletcher
David: Fletcher gets the duke after taking advantage of a fallen official. Dastardly!
Dick: The tag champs showing why they're holding onto those belts...
(Suddenly, the Pyro Twins come out from the back, and stalk toward the ring. Officials and suits get in between them and the apron to head off a confrontation. Dusty and Jay are pointing at the ring and yelling angrily.)
David: Dusty Schneble and Jay Crowe are out here, and they want a piece of... someone. They attacked the Eccentric Alliance last week, and we know that they can't stand the UKWC. Who are they going for?
Dick: It's hard to tell with the Pyro Twins. You would think that they would be natural challengers for the tag titles, but thus far the UK Wrecking Crew and C.M. Punk have managed to keep them at bay.
David: We're going to get the ring cleared, but up next Low Ki takes on Spanky!
(Backstage, Kevin Stone is walking around. He spots Nykk getting a drink at the refreshment table and walks over to him.)
Kevin: Nykk!
Nykk: Kevin. What's up?
Kevin: Listen, you and I have a past, but I'm sure you're sick of hearing about that by now since you seem to have a past with everybody. The bottom line is, I need a tag partner to get my title shot against Nathans and Fletcher at Midsummer Night Slam. You and I have teamed before, and we had potential then. Imagine what we could do now. What do you say?
Nykk: As tempting as that is... I'm going to have to pass. Sorry, Kevin. It's nothing personal, it's just that I have my own plans for Midsummer Night Slam. If you'll excuse me, I better go set things into motion. Good luck, though.
(He walks away, and Kevin looks a little angry.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Fighter's Passion" hits and Low Ki makes his way to the ring.)
David: As we saw just before the break, I guess it won't be Nykk and Kevin Stone vs. The UK Wrecking Crew at Midsummer Night Slam.
Dick: Speaking of Nykk, Low Ki has beaten him up twice and even took him out of the number one contenders' Four Way Dance last week. Now that we know Nykk is here, what does he have in store? What are those plans he spoke of?
("Danger! High Voltage" by the Electric Six hits and Spanky makes his way to the ring.)
David: The other half of Reckless Abandon is set for perhaps his biggest match yet in MECCA against Low Ki.
Dick: Spanky's mostly been sticking to the tag team division since he got here. I'm not sure Low Ki's the guy to start your singles career off against.
(FINISH: After a long match, Spanky finally gets Low Ki stunned and signals for the Sliced Bread #2. He goes for it, but Low Ki dumps him crotch first across the top rope. He goes up top and hooks Spanky for the Ki Krusher, but Spanky escapes and lands on the mat. He pushes Low Ki onto the top rope and then goes for an electric chair. However, Low Ki escapes and hooks Spanky's head from behind. He grapevines his body, causing Spanky to fall forward right into the Dragon Clutch. After a few moments, Spanky taps out.)
Winner: Low Ki
David: What a match we've just seen! Spanky gave Low Ki all he had, but in the end he was forced to tap out to the Dragon Clutch.
Dick: I'd like to see these guys go again sometime, David. That was spectacular!
(Suddenly, Nykk runs down the aisle and slides in the ring. Low Ki sees him coming and launches a roundhouse kick, but Nykk blocks it and tackles Low Ki, pummeling him with rights. Low Ki manages to get away and tries to slide under the ropes, but Nykk gives him a baseball slide to the outside.)
David: Nykk is in the arena! He's taking on Low Ki!
Dick: Is he crazy? Low Ki's going to kill him!
(Nykk ducks a spinning roundhouse and tackles Low Ki into the guardrail. He locks in a triangle choke as referee Keith Young tries to pull him off. Nykk says he'll only release the hold if he gets a mic. Young brings over a mic and holds it to Nykk's mouth.)
Nykk: Low Ki... what's happening right now is the life and energy is flowing from your body. If you don't want me to continue, then you better listen to what I say. Two weeks ago, you cost me an opportunity to get revenge on Punk and claim the MECCA Championship. And last week, you failed in that same opportunity. So at Midsummer Night Slam, I'm challenging you to a match. What do you say?
(Young holds the mic up to Ki, who is choking and semi-conscious.)
Ki: Y... yes... I... accept.
Nykk: That's the answer I wanted from you, Ki. And I know I said I'd let you go if you listened to me, but... well... I'm a f&$%^ liar!
(Nykk cranks back on the triangle choke even more. Low Ki's body twitches as he desperately tries to escape, but he eventually loses consciousness. Nykk finally lets go and grabs the mic.)
Nykk: You may be this bad ass monster, Low Ki, but you just got a taste of what it's like in my world. Come June 25... I won't be so nice.
("Destroy" plays as Nykk walks to the back.)
David: Nykk just choked Low Ki unconscious! Those two will now meet at Midsummer Night Slam, and Nykk is incensed.
Dick: I can't believe he'd do a thing like that, David. He should be fined or suspended!
David: Do you honestly think that would keep these two apart now? Come Midsummer Night Slam, Katie Piehl's going to have her hands full. Up next, we'll hear from Cynric. Don't go away.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is standing by with Cynric.)
Bill: Cynric, last week you won the Four Way Dance and the opportunity to face C.M. Punk for the MECCA Championship at Midsummer Night Slam. You must be on Cloud 9.
Cynric: Bill, I've labored long and hard for an opportunity like this. First off, big props to my partner Kevin. I know you wanted that tag title shot with me by your side, and I promise you I'll make it up to you. But Bill, everywhere I've gone, I've always been overlooked for the big title. Whether because of shoddy booking, or certain others overshadowing me, I've never really gotten a fair shake. Well, I finally made it to the big dance, and on June 25, C.M. Punk, I'm coming for you. I won't be wrestling that technical style that you're so fond of. You know me... smash-mouth, in your face, never stops coming. The MECCA Championship will go to me, and there's nothing Punk or the rest of SELF can do about it.
Bill: What about the six-man tag later on?
Cynric: I've already spoken with Huh and Cheesecake. We're prepared for this match. We may have never teamed before, but we've got the heart, and SELF better watch themselves, especially after what they tried to pull last week. Bicknell, I'm out. Time to kick some ass.
(He leaves.)
(In the hallway, Lisa Letty is walking when she comes across LuFisto, Gail Kim and Misery blocking her path.)
LuFisto: If it isn't Little Lisa, the scared little girl who would rather duck her challengers than face them. We handed your ass to you two weeks ago. One of us should be getting a title shot, but what's this I hear about your bestest buddy Shadow getting what's rightfully the Dangerous Liaison's?
Lisa: You heard right. You three had your shots. None of you could take this belt from me. Therefore, I was forced to resort to other means to find competition. If the Dangerous Liaison wasn't such a stable of choke-artists, maybe there would be gold around one of your waists. As it is, I'm still the MECCA Ladies' Champion, and this belt isn't going anywhere, especially not to the likes of you.
(Shadow and Kelly Schweickart walk up to stand behind Lisa and the Dangerous Liaison backs off.)
Lisa: As you can see, this belt belongs to those with honor and pride. When you get some of that, come knocking on my door again.
(Lisa, Kelly and Shadow walk away.)
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Miseria Cantare" hits and C.M. Punk, Eddie Crowe and Trent Acid make their way to the ring, accompanied by the Pyro Twins.)
David: Here comes the Straight Edge Lifestyle Foundation in its entirety. I don't know what the Pyro Twins hope to add out here.
Dick: Punk's not taking any chances. These six-man tags can be dangerous.
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric makes his way to the ring.)
David: Here comes the challenger to C.M. Punk's title at Midsummer Night Slam, Cynric!
Dick: He had some confident words earlier, and he must be feeling confident to come out here alone.
(As Cynric is midway down the aisle, "La Macarena" hits and Huh and Cheesecake make their way down. They motion behind them, and Spanky and Delirious follow them out.)
David: The Eccentrics didn't come alone either!
Dick: What a situation at ringside. I just hope this debacle doesn't spill over here on us.
David: I've just been informed that another match has been added to Midsummer Night Slam. After the events of last week, Eddie Crowe has requested a match with Cheesecake and Katie Piehl has agreed.
Dick: This is big for Cheesecake, because if he wins, he'll manage to take Eddie's spot on the Contender Star.
(FINISH: Cheesecake and Huh hit the Eccentric Chair on Acid and Cheesecake covers, but Dusty pulls referee David Bowers out of the ring. Spanky attacks Dusty, and then Jay and Delirious get into it. They brawl out of the arena as Eddie tags in. He rolls up Cheesecake and grabs the ropes, but Cheesecake kicks out. Cynric comes in and front kicks Eddie, and the rest of the participants brawl. Cynric and Punk brawl on the outside as Cheesecake goes for the Long Kiss Goodnight on Acid. Eddie gives him a low blow and goes for a brainbuster, but Huh chop blocks Eddie's leg. Cheesecake falls on top of Eddie and Huh holds Eddie's feet to the mat. Cheesecake gets the three count.)
Winners: Cynric, Cheesecake and Huh
David: The Eccentrics pulled it off! Cheesecake just got a pinfall over Eddie Crowe!
Dick: They cheated! That was dastardly, Mills.
David: It was only payback for the shenanigans SELF has been pulling out here. We'll see you next week, fans, because we're out of time. Thank you for joining us!