("Neocon" opening.)
David: It's the final Go Time before we head to Louisville, Kentucky, for Punked Out, where Alan Mayse will go for the MECCA Championship against C.M. Punk! I'm David Mills, along with Dick Broccoli, and we're in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Dick: And we have a huge tag team match for the main event tonight. Nykk and Alan Mayse will team to take on C.M. Punk and Eddie Crowe from SELF.
David: All four of these men will have big matches at Punked Out, and we'll see a preview right here tonight. Also, Jack Fletcher will attempt to avenge the loss of his partner Andy Nathans to Cheesecake last week, as he takes on Huh later tonight. Here we go with an action-packed show.
("Fell in Love with a Girl" hits and LuFisto makes her way to the ring, along with Gail Kim.)
David: LuFisto and Gail Kim look as dangerous as ever, though for the first time, neither one of them will be challenging for the Ladies' Title at Punked Out.
Dick: They can't be happy about that, but LuFisto did not get the job done at the MECCA Challenge, and Kim didn't win the Four Corner Chaos match.
("Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweickart makes her way to the ring.)
David: Kelly has a tough task in front of her, attempting to put away LuFisto.
Dick: This is a tremendous opportunity for her, as Kelly would definitely be in contention for the Ladies' Title if she wins.
(FINISH: LuFisto tries to bring a chair into the match, but it backfires and LuFisto ends up hitting the ropes and having the chair rebound into her face. Kelly follows up with an enzugiri, and then hits the Kelly Cyclone. However, Gail Kim pulls referee Nikki Alvarado out of the ring. Kim slides in and they give Kelly a spike Michinoku Driver. Kim throws Nikki back in, and she makes the three count.)
Winner: LuFisto
David: The Dangerous Liaison pulls off another one, and they're not done yet!
(Kim locks Kelly in a triangle choke as LuFisto lays in some kicks. However, Shadow runs down to the ring and starts hitting LuFisto with rights. She whips her into the ropes and hits the Interceptor as Gail Kim slides out of the ring. Shadow gets a mic.)
Shadow: Hey, Dangerous Liaison! I'm getting a little tired of you two running around and wreaking havoc on the ladies' division here in MECCA. As far as I'm concerned, Kelly had you beat tonight. And at Punked Out, I know that the two of us could beat the two of you, so we're making a challenge!
David: A challenge for a tag match at Punked Out? I'd love to see this.
(LuFisto and Gail Kim nod before disappearing through the curtain, and "Faint" starts to play as Shadow helps Kelly up.)
David: It looks like we have another match taking place at Punked Out, as Shadow and Kelly Schweickart just challenged the Dangerous Liaison.
Dick: It should be a tremendous match. I would love to see that too.
(Backstage, the UK Wrecking Crew barge into Katie Piehl's office, where she's on her cell phone.)
Nathans: Ms. Piehl, we need to talk!
Katie: I gotta go. Right. Bye.
(She hangs up her phone.)
Nathans: I want to know what you plan to do about the Pyro Twins taking our trophy two weeks ago. We rightfully earned that trophy by taking on the best tag teams MECCA had to offer and winning the International Invitational. It was bad enough when those four goofs had it. I can only imagine what Jay and Dusty have planned!
Katie: Look, have you ever tried to make the Pyro Twins do something they don't want to do? I've confronted them numerous times, but they still ignore me. I can't fine them; they wouldn't have any money to give me! If you want your trophy back, you'll just have to get it yourselves.
Fletcher: That's the best advice you can give us? They're going to smash our trophy, I just know it! But if you think for one second that we won't tear apart MECCA to get it back, you've got another thing coming. Those Pyro Twins are going to get it.
(They storm out of the office.)
Katie: That's what I want to hear. A Pyro Twins vs. UK Wrecking Crew match would be money in the bank.
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "The Goon's Theme Remix" hits and the Ballard Brothers make their way to the ring.)
David: We're back on Go Time and getting set for some tag team action.
Dick: The Ballard Brothers are still looking for a win here in MECCA. They're a talented team, but they can't seem to get a victory to save their lives. Maybe they should start a stable with Joey Sprinklers.
("Burning Times" hits and the Pyro Twins make their way to the ring, carrying a big, rectangular table, which doesn't look to be a normal wrestling table. They also have the World Cup. When they get to the center of the aisle, they put the table down and place the World Cup in the center before continuing to the ring.)
David: I don't like the Ballard Brothers' chances here, but what are Jay and Dusty doing?
Dick: I don't know, but they've placed the World Cup halfway down the aisle. It's almost like they're daring the UK Wrecking Crew to come and take it.
(FINISH: Halfway into the match, the UK Wrecking Crew make their way out the curtain and stare uneasily at the trophy, debating whether or not they should try for it. Finally, they make a dash for it and Jay, who's on the apron, doesn't budge. Just before they reach the trophy, flames suddenly spring up around it. The UKWC flinches back, and they come forward again, only to be repelled by flames once more. In the ring, the Pyro Twins finish off Shane with Final Darkness and get the pin.)
Winners: The Pyro Twins
David: The Pyro Twins win it, and now it's crystal clear what they're doing. They've rigged that table like some sort of stove, and the UKWC can't even touch their own trophy.
Dick: The Pyro Twins are continuing to play head games with the UK Wrecking Crew, since C.M. Punk seemingly doesn't want them doing anything but acting as enforcers for the rest of SELF.
(The Pyro Twins stalk up the aisle toward the UK Wrecking Crew, and the UKWC backs off and leaves.)
David: The Pyro Twins are certainly deserving of a tag title shot, but Fletcher better not go anywhere. He's in the ring up next, taking on Huh!
(Backstage, Alan is wandering through the hallway, looking for the locker room. He finds it and opens the door, yelling, "Punk!" but no one's inside. He keeps walking until he wanders into an open area, where Punk is standing by the refreshment table.)
Alan: Punk! I've been looking for you! We're not going to wait until later. We're going at it right now!
(He charges Punk and knocks him across the table, spilling Snapple everywhere. He lays in some rights, but Eddie Crowe attacks from behind. Punk and Eddie beat on Alan and Eddie's about to give him a Gutwrench Driver on the concrete, but Nykk runs up and nails Eddie with a clothesline. He blocks a right from Punk and hits him a few times before ramming him headfirst into the table. Punk and Eddie run away, and Nykk helps Alan up.)
Nykk: We may not like each other, but one thing we have in common is our matches against SELF at Punked Out. Tonight, we have an opportunity to show them what's going to happen in four days. What do you say we let bygones be bygones one more time, for the sake of MECCA?
Alan: You don't have to convince me, Nykk. Not on this.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Lisa Letty runs into Misery while trying to squeeze through the hallway.)
Lisa: Excuse me.
Misery: Oh, now you want to be polite, Lisa? Now you want to be civil to me after rejecting me last month? I guess you'll do anything you can to save your title this Saturday, but I promise you, I will be walking out with your belt, the title that you've built up over these past few months. There's nothing you can do to stop me.
Lisa: Yes, there is. It's called the Letty Stretch, and it made the First Lady of Hardcore scream like a schoolgirl with a skinned knee at the MECCA Challenge. Just remember that, as the tears run down your face, your shoulders go numb, and you feel like you have a knife in the back of your ribcage. I'll see you in four days.
(She walks away, and Misery stares after her.)
(In the arena, "Pajamarama" hits and Huh makes his way to the ring.)
David: We saw Huh's partner Cheesecake in action last week, as he was able to pin Andy Nathans in a singles match. Now Huh has the opportunity to do the same, and that's get a one on one victory over a member of the UK Wrecking Crew.
Dick: And we just heard from the back that Katie Piehl has granted the Eccentrics' request at a title shot, and it will take place at Punked Out.
David: Just one more great match added to a loaded card.
("Ironman" hits and Jack Fletcher makes his way to the ring.)
David: One half of the UK Wrecking Crew, Jack Fletcher, is on his way down. Where Andy Nathans has more of a technical style, Fletcher seems to incorporate more aerial moves into his repertoire.
Dick: And of course, both Nathans and Fletcher learned the British style back home, so they have no problem taking it to the mat.
(FINISH: Huh gives Fletcher a bulldog, and then goes to the top rope. Fletcher falls into the ropes and crotches Huh. He goes up for a superplex, but Huh pushes him off and hits the moonsault. However, Andy Nathans runs down and jumps up on the apron, distracting referee Keith Young. Huh comes over to take care of Nathans as Fletcher gets a chair from ringside. He charges at Huh, but Huh ducks and Fletcher nails Nathans over the head. Huh schoolboys Fletcher and gets the three count.)
Winner: Huh
David: Huh just pinned Fletcher with a move as old as the sport, after wisely ducking that chairshot.
Dick: The UK Wrecking Crew is not having a good month. First, they have their trophy stolen, and now they've lost to these idiot Eccentrics.
(Huh celebrates, but Nathans comes in and whacks him from behind with the chair. They do a number on him, and set him up for the Wrecking Ball, but Cheesecake runs down and intercepts Fletcher with a clothesline. He gives Nathans the Long Kiss Goodnight, and he and Huh give Fletcher the Flathead. Huh covers and Cheesecake makes a three count.)
David: The Eccentrics have just put down the UKWC with the Flathead, and just sent them a message. If they connect with that move on May 28, we could very well have new tag team champs.
Dick: But they have to get the move on them first, David. Cheesecake came down and ambushed Nathans and Fletcher.
David: Speaking of ambushes, we saw Punk's attempted ambush of Alan Mayse earlier, but luckily Nykk was around. Up next, Nykk and Alan will team to take on C.M. Punk and Eddie Crowe!
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Cynric walks right up to the SELF dressing room, just as Jay Crowe exits.)
Cynric: I cannot believe you.
Jay: What do you want?
Cynric: I finally get a shot at your brother, and you have to go and screw it up. Well, let me tell you something. I may not get to take on Eddie at Punked Out, but last I checked, you weren't doing anything. Why don't you and I step into the ring and settle this once and for all?
Jay: You just like to go around challenging everybody, don't you? Look, the fact of the matter is that Eddie is my family, and you don't mess with family. You want to take me on this Saturday? You've got me. I'll see you there.
(He walks away.)
(At the broadcast booth, David and Dick are watching the events transpire on the monitor.)
David: Well, you just heard it, fans. Another great matchup added to the card this Saturday at Punked Out in Cynric vs. Jay Crowe. We'll also see Misery challenge Lisa Letty for the Ladies' Title!
Dick: And the ladies aren't through for the night, as Shadow and Kelly Schweickart take on the Dangerous Liaison.
David: The tag titles will also be up for grabs as the Eccentrics attempt to avenge their partners in the Eccentric Alliance by wresting the belts from the UK Wrecking Crew.
Dick: Also, Nykk asked for it, and he got it. Nykk will take on Eddie Crowe.
David: And in the main event, the first MECCA Title defense. The champion C.M. Punk vs. Alan Mayse.
("Miseria Cantare" hits and C.M. Punk and Eddie Crowe make their way to the ring.)
David: It's main event time, and here comes SELF. Punk has his first title defense against Alan Mayse in four days, and he looks ready.
Dick: Punk has issues not only with Alan in this match, but also with Nykk. Even if Nykk is concentrating on Eddie, you know in the back of his mind, he wants to get at Punk as well.
("Seven Nation Army" hits and Nykk and Alan Mayse make their way to the ring.)
David: It's an odd sight to see Alan Mayse and Nykk together. These two do not like each other, but they seem to have found some common ground after Nykk saved Alan from another SELF ambush earlier tonight.
Dick: Nykk has to still be seething that he was overlooked for the first MECCA Championship defense, but he chose Eddie as his opponent for Punked Out, and he's fixing to get a little preview of that match right here.
(FINISH: Nykk and Eddie eventually brawl out into the crowd as Punk and Alan go at it. Punk goes for the Pepsi Plunge, but Alan backdrops him off the top rope. He goes for a missile dropkick, but Punk moves. He goes for a shining wizard, but Alan catches him with an exploder suplex. He hits the Tiger Bomb and gets the three count.)
Winners: Alan Mayse and Nykk
David: Alan just pinned the champ with the Tiger Bomb!
Dick: What!? Punk loses?
David: If he hits that at Punked Out, we could very well have a new MECCA Champion, and how embarrassing would it be for Punk to lose the belt in his first title defense?
Dick: Alan may have gotten one up on Punk in this tag match, but it's going to be different in a singles match, I can assure you.
(Out at the concession stand, Nykk and Eddie are still brawling.)
David: What's this? Someone needs to tell these two the match is over.
Dick: I don't think they care.
(Nykk throws Eddie over the table and then starts choking him with a Nykk t-shirt. Eddie gives him a low blow and then grabs a chair, folding it up and nailing Nykk across the back of the head with it. Nykk goes limp, and Eddie starts yelling at him.)
David: Eddie may have just knocked Nykk out with that chair, but we're out of time! Please join us this Saturday for Punked Out. Until then, good night everyone!