("Neocon" opening.)
David: Ladies and gentlemen, we are coming to you from Cincinnati, Ohio, as MECCA presents Go Time! I'm David Mills, along with Dick Broccoli, and we're coming off the biggest night in MECCA's short history. This past Saturday was the MECCA Challenge.
Dick: That's right, and we crowned our first MECCA Heavyweight Champion, as C.M. Punk defeated Nykk in the MECCA Challenge.
David: We also crowned our first tag champions, as the UK Wrecking Crew won the International Invitational over Reckless Abandon. And right here tonight, Katie Piehl will present them with the World Cup.
Dick: We'll also see Kevin Stone and Cynric team up to face Eddie Crowe... and Joey Sprinklers? What's he in this match for?
David: Maybe he wants to join SELF. You never know with Joey.
("Miseria Cantare" hits and C.M. Punk makes his way to the ring with the MECCA Championship.)
David: We're kicking things off with our first MECCA Champion. It was a brutal and vicious contest at the MECCA Challenge against Nykk.
Dick: And finally, Nykk was put down with the Pepsi Plunge, which led to Punk getting a knock out victory.
David: There's some controversy to that, though, as Nykk was about to get up on his feet at the count of nine, but Punk sent him down with a kick behind the referee's back as he was confirming the nine count to the timekeeper.
Dick: There's nothing in the rules that state a wrestler has to remain in his corner while the count is going on. If Punk found a way to keep Nykk down without breaking the count, more power to him.
David: And it seemed like he was going to show some sportsmanship toward Nykk after the match, but that turned out to be a trap set by Punk and Eddie Crowe.
(Punk gets a mic.)
Punk: I'll bet you all thought that it would be your hero, the owner of MECCA, Nykk who came out first tonight holding up this belt! As of this past Saturday, I am now validated. I've proven that I'm better than Nykk, just like I'm better than all of you. We gave each other a brutal beating in that match, and at the end, I showed Nykk what the power of SELF is truly about. And I made my mark on this new title of mine, too. Because it was not enough to beat Nykk; I wanted to make a statement. So I stained this gold with Nykk's blood.
(He holds up the belt.)
Punk: This is what you worked so many months to get, Nykk. This is what you endured four other contenders in the Round Robin with the hope of winning this. This is what caused me to crush you physically, and this is what caused me to crush your spirit. Now and forever, in all the title histories, it will read, "C.M. Punk: First MECCA Champion." That's something you can never claim for yourself or erase, Nykk. I am the first name. And I will be the only name for as long as I choose. Now, I go on to main event Punked Out on May 28, and how apropos is that title? Because whoever I meet will face the same fate that Nykk did on Saturday. I am C.M. Punk, and whether you like it or not, I am professional wrestling personified. And this belt proves it.
("Seven Nation Army" suddenly hits, and Alan Mayse makes his way to the ring.)
David: It's Alan Mayse! You don't go around calling yourself the best in any promotion that Alan Mayse competes in and expect him not to say anything.
Dick: He's coming off a big singles debut victory over Low Ki at the MECCA Challenge, and you would think that he could definitely be a name on the Contenders' Star.
(Alan gets a mic.)
Alan: Punk, I give you all the credit in the world. Nobody knows how hard it is to defeat Nykk more than I do. We traded the RCW Title numerous times. But what you fail to realize is that winning that title does not set you above the rest of MECCA, up to and including me. Because at any time, one of us could reach up and snatch that title from your grasp. That's the lesson I've learned in this business. No matter how confident you are, the end is coming. One day, it will happen. It could be tomorrow or in two years, but it's coming. And that's why you have to be constantly prepared. I haven't been here in MECCA for very long, but I did beat one of its top wrestlers at the MECCA Challenge. That's why, right here tonight, I'm challenging you to a one on one match, for that newly won title! If you've got the guts, accept my challenge and continue to prove that you're the better man.
David: Wow, a challenge for the title right here tonight!
Dick: Alan's certainly qualified for a title shot, but how can Punk justify giving him one on his third match in MECCA?
Punk: You think the end is coming tonight, don't you? After I nearly beat myself senseless to win this title a few days ago, you would just love to catch me in my weakened state and take this belt I worked so many months to acquire. I'll tell you what, Alan... I accept your challenge... but it won't be for the MECCA Championship. If you want a title shot, get into the Contenders' Star and earn it. Tonight, you and I will go at it, non-title, and you'll find out that straight edge means that I'm better than you!
Alan: That's fine with me, Punk. After tonight, when I defeat you, that will be all the leverage I need to earn a spot in the Contenders' Star. You may be right, Punk. I may not be better than you; but I'm good enough to beat you. See you in a bit.
("Seven Nation Army" plays as Alan exits the ring.)
David: How about that? We have Alan Mayse vs. C.M. Punk non-title, right here in Cincinnati!
Dick: That'll be a great match, David, but up next we have Kevin Stone and Cynric taking on Eddie Crowe and Joey Sprinklers.
David: We'll be right back.
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Hit That" hits and Joey Sprinklers skateboards his way to the ring.)
David: We're back here on Go Time, and we found out during the break that Katie Piehl has approved the non-title match for our main even tonight. It will be C.M. Punk facing Alan Mayse.
Dick: And we're set for tag team action here, with Joey Sprinklers looking for his first win in MECCA.
("The Leaving Song Part II" hits and Eddie Crowe makes his way to the ring.)
David: Eddie is coming off a successful six-man tag at the MECCA Challenge, where he pinned the Amazing Red with the Gutwrench Driver. He's looking to continue that momentum right here tonight.
Dick: Eddie's really come into his own the last couple of months, and hasn't lost a singles match yet.
("Soul Creation" hits and Cynric and Kevin Stone make their way to the ring.)
David: Well, I know that if Cynric ever gets Eddie one on one, he'll do his best to fix that. He did get his hands on him briefly at the MECCA Challenge, but I'm sure there's much more pain he wants to inflict on Eddie.
Dick: That's just sick, David. Cynric should be locked up.
(FINISH: Eddie locks in the Crowe's Nest on Cynric, but Kevin comes in and elbow drops him to break the hold. Joey comes in, but Kevin whips him into the corner and hits a running clothesline. He then backdrops Eddie over the top rope and crouches on all fours. Cynric vaults off his back to hit a modified Lift Off on Joey. He covers and gets the three count.)
Winners: Cynric and Kevin Stone
David: Kevin Stone and Cynric pick up the win, and both of these guys have to be prime candidates for the Contenders' Star, which we understand will be announced next week.
Dick: They also have to be considered for a tag title shot, if they can keep these wins up.
(Cynric threatens Eddie, who is standing at ringside, and then he and Kevin leave. Eddie gets back in the ring and yells at Joey.)
David: What's Eddie going on about? Joey lost the match clean. If he wanted to win so bad, he should have made the save.
(Eddie starts slapping Joey around, and then "Burning Times" hits. The Pyro Twins come out and slide into the ring. They pull Eddie away and calm him down.)
Dick: Jay and Dusty are out here now, and it looks like they may be separating Eddie from their friend, Joey Sprinklers.
(The Pyro Twins help Joey up and suddenly give him Final Darkness. Eddie pounces on Joey with right hands, and then applies the Crowe's Nest. Joey taps out.)
David: The Pyro Twins just leveled their friend Joey with Final Darkness! Why did they do that?
Dick: The Pyro Twins have to be angry that they can't go after the UK Wrecking Crew until Cynric is out of the way. Maybe they think if they get Eddie ready to take care of himself, he'll be able to dispatch Cynric all by himself.
(Eddie finally lets up as "The Leaving Song Part II" plays.)
David: Eddie is quite the wrestling machine, there's no doubt about that. I'm beginning to think that he could take Cynric if he decides to.
(In the locker room, Lisa is lacing up her boots when Shadow comes in.)
Shadow: Hey, Lisa.
Lisa: Shadow! It's good to see you.
Shadow: Congratulations on getting past LuFisto. That has to be one of the hardest hitting matches I've ever seen you in.
Lisa: Thanks. Thanks to you, it was a fair fight. Thank you so much for taking out Gail Kim before she could do any more damage to me.
Shadow: My pleasure. Are you booked tonight?
Lisa: No, but Misery's in action, and I want to scout her.
Shadow: Right. You know, I faced her in Four Corner Chaos this past Saturday, so maybe I can be of some help.
Lisa: Sure. Let's go.
(They leave the locker room.)
(In the arena, "I've Got the Power" is playing, and Katie Piehl is in the ring with a microphone. Behind her is a small table with the World Cup on it, covered by a tarp.)
David: We're back, and Katie Piehl is getting ready to award the International Invitational World Cup!
Katie: Ladies and gentlemen, this past Saturday was a historic day for MECCA. Not only did C.M. Punk become the first MECCA Champion, but our first tag champions were crowned as well. Not only that, but it was the end of the International Invitational, a grueling tournament where the teams were also competing for the pride of their country to win the World Cup. And without any further adieu, allow me to present the winners of the International Invitational... our MECCA Tag Team Champions, the UK Wrecking Crew!
("Ironman" hits and the UK Wrecking Crew make their way to the ring.)
David: Andy Nathans and Jack Fletcher beat out Reckless Abandon just a few days ago to win those tag team belts.
Dick: It was a hard fought contest, and the entire UK should be proud of these two gentlemen.
Katie: Andy Nathans, Jack Fletcher... you came into this tournament to represent your home country, the United Kingdom. Not only did you win the titles and the World Cup, but you were never beaten in doing so. Before I present this World Cup, I would like to get a few thoughts from you.
Nathans: Thank you, Ms. Piehl. When we started out here in MECCA, no one knew who we were. They said that Super Crazy and Psychosis would make quick work of us. They were wrong. They said we wouldn't get past experienced Japanese wrestler Katsushi Takemura and former WWE Superstar Keiji Sakota. They were wrong. They said that the Pyro Twins were taking the upper brackets, and going on to represent the US in the finals. They were dead wrong. And then, this past Saturday, we overcame Reckless Abandon with the Wrecking Ball, the most devastating double team move in MECCA, to win these belts.
Fletcher: To all the doubters, we say thank you. Without your lack of support, we would have never found the fire we needed to remain undefeated in tag team competition. It's now time for a new dynasty in tag team wrestling. Jay Crowe and Dusty Schneble... you're old news. And there's not a damn thing you can do to us. So get ready, MECCA, because when the UKWC is around, we tear down the house every time!
Katie: You've certainly earned the right to be confident over the past few months, and it is my pleasure to present you with the International Invitational World Cup!
(She pulls off the tarp to reveal a pop-up doll of a clown.)
Dick: What the hell!?
David: Where's the trophy?
(Nathans and Fletcher look confused, as does Katie.)
Nathans: Is this some kind of joke? Where's our trophy?
Katie: I don't know...
(Suddenly, "Pajamarama" hits and the Eccentric Alliance makes their way out the curtain. Huh holds up the World Cup trophy, which they've dressed up like a Mr. Potato Head.)
David: It's the Eccentric Alliance! What are they doing?
Dick: And what have they done to the World Cup!?
(Cheesecake has a mic.)
Cheesecake: I know you want an explanation, Ms. Piehl, and we have one. You th'ee, Delirious and Th'panky here were pretty up'th'et that the UK Wrecking Crew had to cheat to win their match on Saturday. Th'o, we decided that they don't de'th'erve thi'th trophy just yet. Don't worry; we'll take real good care of it!
(Nathans and Fletcher are going ballistic in the ring.)
David: What a surprise! The Eccentric Alliance has made off with the World Cup!
Dick: This isn't right, David. They earned that trophy.
("Pajamarama" plays as the Eccentrics take turns dancing with the trophy.)
David: The Eccentric Alliance is hamming it up, but we have to take a break.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Bill Bicknell is standing by with David Caldwell.)
Bill: Bill Bicknell here with David Caldwell, the manager of Kaientai Deluxe. David, on our very first show, you showed up and had your boys lay out Huh and Cheesecake. Then, in the first round of the International Invitational, you led them to victory over the Eccentrics. But this past Saturday, the Eccentrics got a measure of revenge by beating KDX at the MECCA Challenge.
Caldwell: Come on, Bill, you know that victory was a farce as much as I do. The Eccentrics should consider themselves lucky that they were able to walk out of the Hara Arena under their own power, after the beatings we gave them in the weeks leading up to the match. The fact of the matter is, we were busy arguing with the official because the illegal man was pinned! That's right, that pinfall should never have counted! The stupid referee was lackadaisical and it cost my boys big time. Well, I just came from Katie Piehl's office, and I got a rematch. Next week, it's the Eccentrics vs. KDX one more time. This time we settle it once and for all. Eccentrics, you better get prepared because I have a feeling that next week, the right call will be made and KDX will leave you two behind and look for a shot at the tag team titles!
(In the arena, "Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweickart makes her way to the ring.)
David: How about that? One more match between the Eccentrics and KDX right here next week.
Dick: Both teams are tied at one win apiece, and both victories were controversial. Next week, all accounts will hopefully be settled.
David: Right now we're set for the Ladies of MECCA to take the ring.
(Kelly runs a lap around the ring, high fiving fans as she goes.)
David: And Kelly is fired up.
("My Friend of Misery" hits and Misery makes her way to the ring.)
David: Here comes the enigma known as Misery, and what a fitting name. No one wants to hang around her backstage because she really is a completely miserable person.
Dick: She might not be so miserable after Punked Out, though.
David: Indeed, she won Four Corner Chaos prior to the pay-per-view, which means she gets a title shot against Lisa Letty at Punked Out on May 28. As we saw earlier, we know that Lisa is here somewhere watching this match.
(FINISH: During the match, Lisa Letty and Shadow come out into the aisle to watch. Kelly goes for the Kelly Cyclone, but Misery pushes her off the top rope. She yells at Lisa and Shadow before pulling Kelly back up to the apron. Kelly snaps Misery's neck across the top rope and slingshots in with a sunset flip. However, Misery falls down across her shoulders and hooks her legs to get the three count.)
Winner: Misery
David: Misery picks up the victory and continues her momentum toward the biggest night of her short career at Punked Out.
Dick: She showed some smart wrestling there, having the wherewithal to counter the sunset flip into a pinning predicament of her own.
(Misery tells Lisa that she's going to win the belt, and then puts Kelly in the Friendship Bracelet. Referee Rya Zay tries to make her let go, but Misery won't relinquish the hold. Lisa hits the ring, with Shadow right behind her. They throw Misery off Kelly and check on her. Misery gets a chair as Lisa and Shadow help Kelly from the ring. She takes a swing at Lisa, but Lisa moves out of the way and Misery nails Shadow in the head. Lisa lunges for Misery, but Rya holds her back. Misery taunts her as "My Friend of Misery" plays.)
David: Misery just clocked Shadow with that chair, though she was aiming for Lisa Letty. Misery looks ready for the match at Punked Out.
Dick: If she can keep up these quality performances, I think we'll be looking at our new Ladies' Champion.
(Lisa and Kelly help Shadow to the back.)
David: Up next is the main event. Alan Mayse takes on C.M. Punk in a non-title match. Don't miss it!
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, the UK Wrecking Crew storm the Eccentric Alliance's dressing room, but Huh and Cheesecake stand in the way.)
Cheesecake: Halt! Who goe'th there?
Nathans: We want those two other weirdoes that you hang out with. They have something that belongs to us.
Huh: Huh?
Fletcher: Are you deaf, you miscreant? We want our trophy!
Cheesecake: Don’t worry, you'll get it.
Fletcher: Yeah, back in pieces! This is wrestling; we all know what happens to trophies in pro wrestling!
Cheesecake: That is true, but I promise you, we won't do anything to your precious trophy, especially if...
Nathans: What?
Cheesecake: We want you to give Reckless Abandon a rematch for the tag titles next week! If you do that, then you can have your trophy back.
(Nathans and Fletcher share a glance and then nod.)
Fletcher: You want more of the beating we gave you at the MECCA Challenge? That's fine with us. We'll put our belts on the line and beat you once again next week! And you better pray that nothing happens to that trophy in the meantime!
(They walk away.)
(In the arena, "Miseria Cantare" is playing, and C.M. Punk is in the ring.)
David: Next week on Go Time is shaping up to be one of the biggest ever. Not only will the Eccentrics take on KDX one more time, but we just found out that there will be a rematch for the tag titles. Reckless Abandon vs. The UK Wrecking Crew!
Dick: And we just found out during the break that Nykk will make his return next week.
David: Nykk, of course, is at home recovering from what Punk did to him during and after their match at the MECCA Challenge, where Punk won that belt.
("Seven Nation Army" hits and Alan Mayse makes his way to the ring.)
David: Here comes a man who could conceivably take that title from Punk, Alan Mayse!
Dick: But he has to get a title shot first, David. The Contenders' Star hasn't been announced yet.
David: We know that there will be place on the Contenders' Star for five challengers at a time, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if Alan makes it there, especially if he wins here tonight.
(FINISH: Punk goes for the Pepsi Plunge, but stops to taunt the fans. Alan counters with a backdrop, but falls to the ring apron. Punk charges him, but Alan hits him with a shoulder thrust. He knocks Punk down with a springboard dropkick and signals for the Tiger Bomb. He gets Punk in position, but Eddie Crowe runs in and clotheslines Alan. Referee David Bowers calls for the bell.)
Winner: Alan Mayse
David: What a cheap way out!
Dick: What do you mean?
David: This was obviously premeditated. Punk knew it was over if he got Tiger Bombed, so Eddie ran in to cause the DQ.
(They beat on Alan as the ref calls for the bell again. Eddie holds Alan up, and Punk gets the title belt. He hits Alan in the face with it. He leans over to check, and is upset when he sees that Alan isn't busted open. He tells Eddie to prop him up again, but referees and officials run in to separate them.)
David: Punk's trying to do the same thing to Alan that he did to Nykk! He wants to stain the belt with the blood of Alan Mayse!
Dick: He won't get his chance tonight, though. The Zebra Herd has arrived.
David: We're out of time, but next week is packed. The return of Nykk, Eccentrics vs. KDX, Reckless Abandon vs. The UKWC for the titles and the Contenders' Star will be announced. See you then!