("Neocon" opening.)
David: Welcome to Go Time, ladies and gentlemen! We're here in Chicago Ridge, Illinois, and what a main event we have tonight.
Dick: Absolutely. It's a rematch from Bloody Valentine, as Low Ki takes on the American Dragon, and no, I'm not talking about Jake Long, I'm talking about Bryan Danielson!
David: Also, Nykk and Ronin Fox will try teaming again, as they take on C.M. Punk and Eddie Crowe, representing SELF.
Dick: There have been fireworks every time Nykk and Fox are in the ring together, and that's just when they're on the same team. Who knows what's going to happen when Punk and Eddie get involved.
("Can't Stop" hits and Reckless Abandon make their way to the ring.)
David: He's tweakin' out! Delirious and Spanky are still trying to fight back and win the International Invitational after a setback in the first round.
Dick: They and the Pyro Twins are the only US team left in the International Invitational, but tonight it's going to be the US vs. Japan!
("Entre dos Tierras" hits and Kaientai Deluxe make their way to the ring, along with David Caldwell, who is wearing a Japanese headband and waving the Japanese flag.)
David: As you will notice, that man walking beside Dick Togo is not Men's Teioh. Teioh is out after suffering a back injury while wrestling in Japan. Some fans may remember his replacement as Kaz Hayashi, who is in fact part of KDX over in Japan.
Dick: Katie Piehl allowed Dick Togo to pick a replacement partner, and I can't think of a better choice than Kaz Hayashi.
(FINISH: The Eccentrics run down to ringside when David Caldwell trips Spanky from the outside. Togo goes up for the senton bomb, but referee Keith Young is tied up with Delirious and Hayashi. Huh and Cheesecake pull Spanky out of the way, and Togo hits the mat with his back. He staggers to his feet as Delirious backdrops Hayashi out of the ring. He and Spanky hit Get Well Soon on Togo, and Delirious covers for the three count.)
Winners: Reckless Abandon
David: KDX has been put out of the International Invitational, thanks to the Eccentrics! I guess they don't care who's in KDX. They want a piece of them.
Dick: No, no, no. They want a piece of David Caldwell. Poor Kaz Hayashi wandered right into the middle of the Eccentrics' desperate lust for revenge.
(Huh, Cheesecake, Spanky and Delirious celebrate on their way to the back as Caldwell throws a tantrum at Young.)
David: Caldwell is not happy, but it's poetic justice as far as I'm concerned. It was Caldwell's cheating that cost the Eccentrics their first round match against KDX in the first place.
Dick: Now it'll be the US vs. Japan again next week, as Reckless Abandon takes on Katsushi Takemura and Keiji Sakota.
(In the locker room, the Pyro Twins are helping themselves to a beer.)
Jay: How about that? That team we beat in the first round is on their way up again.
Dusty: I'd love to face them once more. I don't think we've destroyed them properly yet.
(Eddie Crowe walks in.)
Jay: Hey, Eddie, you ready for your match? Come on, we've got some beer. Just like old times.
Eddie: What the hell do you think you're doing? Punk is going to go ballistic when he sees that!
Dusty: Eddie... we're telling you, man, if you want to live a straight edge lifestyle, that's fine. But honestly, if Punk weren't doing it, would you? Punk has a very good reason for the way he lives his life, but you know what? Our dads were never drunks. You were never an alcoholic, or a drug abuser. You don't need this.
Jay: Yeah, Eddie, listen. There's nothing wrong with having a beer with some friends, as long as you don't let drinking run your life. You know, since you've been associated with Punk, I don't even know you anymore. You used to be fun, energetic, humorous. But it's like this straight edge thing has erased all that. That's not good for your long term health.
(The locker room door opens and Eddie snatches the bottles from Jay and Dusty's hands and hides them behind his back as C.M. Punk comes in.)
Punk: What's going on, guys?
Eddie: Nothing.
Jay: We were just wishing Eddie luck before the big tag match.
(Punk looks suspiciously at them and then at Eddie.)
Punk: Hold out your hands.
(Eddie reluctantly holds up the beer bottles. Punk snatches them and throws them across the locker room. He grabs Eddie around the throat and slams him into a locker.)
Punk: What the hell do you think you're doing!? That s&%@ is poison! I will not have you...
(The Pyro Twins restrain him.)
Jay: Punk! Punk! It's okay. They're ours, man. It's our beer.
(Punk releases Eddie and glares at Jay.)
Punk: And even my own minions seek to undermine my cause. I'll deal with you two later. Right now, you're going to get out there and make sure that Cynric doesn't come after Eddie tonight.
Dusty: What? We were going to go find the UK Wrecking Crew and beat the crap out of them.
Jay: Yeah, we can't let them get away with the things they said.
Punk: This is more important. If you take out Cynric, then you can go beat up the UK Wrecking Crew, but not until I say so. Now go.
(Jay and Dusty leave, slamming the door on their way out. Punk turns back to Eddie.)
Punk: As for you... do not ever hide anything from me again, Eddie. Everything I've told you is true, and your so-called brother and best friend were only trying to lure you back to a pattern of life that they are comfortable with. That's not you, Eddie. You are straight edge. You are better than them. You don't need to listen to them anymore. Just stay the course, my protégé. (he grabs Eddie's hair and yanks his head back) And let me make one thing perfectly clear... if you ever cover for them, or presume to hide anything from me, my wrath will not be quick and painless. Before the end, you will beg me to show mercy... but I only show mercy to the faithful. Got it?
Eddie: Yes, Punk.
(Punk releases him.)
Punk: Good. Now let's go get ready for our match.
(They leave the locker room, and Eddie holds the door open for Punk on the way out.)
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, the cameraman comes upon Cynric, who is laying facedown in a pool of blood. Some sound equipment is turned over on top of his legs. The cameraman calls for help, and Bill Bicknell, Nikki Alvarado and Keith Young come to his aid. Nikki goes to find the doctor.)
(In the arena, "Miseria Cantare" is playing, and C.M. Punk and Eddie Crowe are entering the ring.)
David: That was a chilling scene. Cynric was not moving at all, and I think we know what happened there. Jay and Dusty were told to take out Cynric, and it looks like they succeeded.
Dick: Wait, we don't know it was them. Innocent until proven guilty, David.
David: We'll give an update on Cynric's condition when we have it, but how about what we saw before the break? Eddie still has some loyalty left to Jay and Dusty after all.
Dick: Yeah, but not anymore, I think. Punk set him straight.
David: Punk has so much control over his life that it's sickening. The worst thing is, the Pyro Twins have been dragged into it because they realize that opposing Punk would only drive a wedge between them and Eddie.
("Wherever I May Roam" hits and Ronin Fox makes his way to the ring.)
David: Ronin Fox won the first Four Corner Chaos match a couple of weeks ago, but that didn't sit too well with Low Ki.
Dick: He and Low Ki have developed a mutual dislike for one another, and I get the feeling it may be leading to a challenge fairly soon.
("Destroy" hits and Nykk makes his way to the ring.)
David: Nykk and Punk will face each other at the MECCA Challenge for the MECCA Championship, but Nykk also has to be ecstatic about stepping into the ring with Eddie for the first time.
Dick: But he also has to contend with the powder keg that is the uneasy truce that exists between himself and Fox. Their partnership could explode at the drop of a hat.
(FINISH: Eddie locks in the Crowe's Nest on Nykk and makes him tap out, but Nykk is not the legal man. Punk tells Eddie to go to the top rope after he hits the Pepsi Twist on Fox. Punk picks up Fox, who gives Punk a jawbreaker and then dropkicks him into the ropes, causing him to accidentally crotch Eddie on the top turnbuckle. Nykk clotheslines Punk over the top rope, and Fox goes up top. He and Nykk hit The End on Eddie, and Fox covers to get the three count.)
Winners: Nykk and Ronin Fox
David: Nykk and Fox managed to work together and win a match!
Dick: I never thought I'd see this day, let me tell you.
(Nykk wants to inflict some more pain on Eddie, but Punk hits Fox from behind with a forearm and then gives Nykk a low blow. He pulls Eddie to his feet and Eddie starts stomping Nykk while Punk puts Fox in the Anaconda Vice. Suddenly, Cynric runs down to the ring, limping and bleeding.)
David: Wait a minute, it's Cynric! He must have woken up during the match!
(However, just as he slides into the ring and goes after Eddie, the Pyro Twins converge from opposite sides of the crowd and take him down. They kick him in the head a couple of times, and Punk pulls him up, giving him the Pepsi Twist, and Eddie jumps on top of Cynric, hitting him with right hands. Nykk gets up, but Punk tells Jay and Dusty to take care of him, so they give him Final Darkness.)
David: SELF has just taken out Nykk, Cynric and Ronin Fox.
Dick: Maybe Cynric will have enough sense to stay down this time.
David: This is a messy state of affairs, but we've still got a Bryan Danielson vs. Low Ki main event for you, so don't go away. We'll be right back.
(Commercial Break)
(In the locker room, Huh wolfs down two pieces of pizza at once while Cheesecake shoots silly string everywhere. Spanky is dancing to some rap music, and Delirious is clinging to the lockers, terrified of the whole thing.)
Cheesecake: You did it! You did it!
(Cheesecake covers Delirious in silly string, and he starts writhing on the floor.)
Delirious: Ahhhhh!
(Bill Bicknell comes in, and immediately gets hit with a water balloon thrown by Spanky.)
Bill: Aah! Spanky, Delirious, you've just beaten KDX, and next week you're facing the other Japanese contingent of Takemura and Sakota, and if you get by them, you have the Pyro Twins again. Don't you guys think this celebration is a bit premature?
Spanky: Bill, we're the Eccentric Alliance. Failure is always a possibility. But that's not the reason we're celebrating. Huh here has just beaten the world record for eating the most pizza in a single sitting without throwing up!
Huh: Huh?
(Bill gets covered in silly string.)
Bill: Well... okay, then. I'm out of here.
(He leaves the locker room.)
(Meanwhile, over in the ladies' locker room, Lisa Letty is sitting next to Shadow on a bench.)
Shadow: So what's the deal with this whole hardcore match at the MECCA Challenge? You're really going to go through with it?
Lisa: Yes, it's time to prove that I'm not just some green rookie anymore, and that I'm worthy to carry this title. I used to respect LuFisto...
(Misery enters the locker room.)
Misery: Lisa, can I speak with you for a moment?
Shadow: I'll leave you two alone.
(She leaves.)
Lisa: What is it?
Misery: It's just... last week, you went off on me for no reason. It seemed like you used me just to prove a point to LuFisto, and I felt like it ruined our match.
Lisa: You know what? You're right. I'm truly sorry about that. I got a little carried away, and I apologize.
Misery: Thank you. It's just that I have so few friends, and I've been trying to find my niche here in MECCA. I really want us to start off right, you know?
Lisa: Okay...
Misery: And you seem pretty nice, and even after you lose the title to LuFisto, I'd like to...
Lisa: What did you say?
Misery: I'm just saying... Lisa Letty, the First Lady of Hardcore... we all know what's going to happen here. I mean, you're a pretty good wrestler and all, but...
Lisa: Wait, stop right there. You know what? It's no wonder you don't have any friends. When you learn a little tact, then maybe we can talk.
(Lisa grabs her title belt and leaves. Misery watches her go.)
Misery: I don't understand. What did I say?
(In the arena, "Fighter's Passion" hits and Low Ki makes his way to the ring.)
David: I don't know what all that was about, but it looks like we won't be seeing a Lisa/Misery tag team anytime soon.
Dick: She was just trying to make friends, that's all. Lisa seems to be real bitchy lately.
David: She's focused on the MECCA Challenge, and the hardcore match for the Ladies' Title, but moving on, we're ready for our main event. Here comes Low Ki.
Dick: Low Ki is not happy at taking the fall in the Four Corner Chaos match a couple of weeks ago to Ronin Fox. He's ready to tear Chicago Ridge apart.
("Self Esteem" hits and Bryan Danielson makes his way to the ring.)
David: Unfortunately, this will be the last we'll see of Danielson for a while, as he's going to be touring Japan as well as honoring other commitments here in the US, but what a sendoff this should be.
Dick: Danielson's a fine wrestler, but I guess since he couldn't get it done in the Round Robin, he's going to try his luck elsewhere.
David: It's Low Ki vs. Bryan Danielson when we come back!
(Commercial Break)
(FINISH: Ki goes for the Krush Rush on Danielson, and just like the last time they met, Danielson counters the second Krush Rush with an inside cradle, but this time Low Ki kicks out. Danielson goes for Cattle Mutilation, but Ki counters into a backdrop driver. He picks Danielson up and hits the Ki Krusher, segueing into the Dragon Clutch. Danielson fights it, but is finally forced to tap out.)
Winner: Low Ki
David: Low Ki is victorious in another hard fought contest. He's out to prove that he still deserves to compete for the MECCA Championship, despite his pinfall loss to Fox last week.
(Low Ki gets a mic.)
Low Ki: I'm sorry to send you fans home unhappy, but I just beat your big hero, the American Dragon. Rest assured, I cannot be stopped, and I will one day become the MECCA Champion. But in the mean time... Ronin Fox, two weeks ago you called your own victory, and then followed through with it. You pinned me in the center of the ring to win Four Corner Chaos. I refuse to accept that loss. Fox, I want you out here right now, so we can finish this!
David: Low Ki just called out Ronin Fox!
Dick: If I know Fox, he won't be able to back away from this challenge.
("Wherever I May Roam" hits and Ronin Fox runs to the ring. He rolls in and tackles Low Ki, hitting him with right hands. Ki kicks him off and gets to his feet. Fox ducks an inside crescent kick and hits a tiger buster. He calls for a Tail End, but this time Low Ki throws him off and hits a rolling koppo kick. As Fox regains his bearings, Low Ki takes some tape out of his tights and wraps his fists in it. He then goes to work on Fox, blasting him with lefts and rights. Fox manages to block a few, but Low Ki's knowledge of martial arts wins out, and Fox is eventually crumbles to the mat. Low Ki gets the mic again.)
Low Ki: By the way, Fox... I lied. I don't want to finish this; in fact, this is only the beginning. I'm challenging you to a match at the MECCA Challenge, on April 30, in your hometown of Dayton, Ohio. It's there that I will unleash my full fury.
(He throws down the mic and exits the ring.)
David: A challenge has been laid out for the MECCA Challenge, and this will be a big match if Fox accepts it.
Dick: I don't know if it would be wise for Fox to accept it after the beating Low Ki just gave him. He's not fooling around anymore.
David: We'll have to find out Fox's answer next week, because we're out of time. For Dick Broccoli, I'm David Mills. Good night, ladies and gentlemen!