("Neocon opening.")
David: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to Go Time, brought to you by MECCA! We're here in Indianapolis, Indiana, at the Warren Performing Arts Center! I'm David Mills, and this is Dick Broccoli!
Dick: And we're just two weeks away from Melee, which will emanate from the Agora Theatre in Cleveland, Ohio! The Round Robin will continue there with three more matches, but it also continues right here tonight in the main event!
David: That's right. Due to the attack of Low Ki on Bryan Danielson at Bloody Valentine, Danielson will be out until Melee on March 12, so the main event for the Round Robin tonight will be Low Ki vs. Ronin Fox. In addition to that, two teams in the International Invitational will be going home tonight, because the first round of the lower brackets will happen! And all the action starts right now!
("The Goon's Theme" remix hits and the Ballard Brothers make their way to the ring.)
David: We saw the Ballard Brothers debut last week when they lost to the Japanese contingent of Katsushi Takemura and Keiji Sakota.
Dick: Well, they have one more chance, but I don't like their chances against these next gentlemen.
("Voices" hits and Fugitivos Locos make their way to the ring.)
David: Super Crazy and Psychosis look fired up tonight. They'll have to be, to stay alive in this tournament.
Dick: It's Mexico vs. Canada, right here!
(FINISH: Shane Ballard gets a victory roll on Psychosis, but only gets a two count. Super Crazy comes in with a springboard spinning heel kick, hitting Shane. They bring Shane to the top turnbuckle and give him the Supercanrana. The ref tries to get Super Crazy out of the ring, and Shannon switches places with Shane. Shane rolls up Psychosis with an inside cradle and gets a close two. He clotheslines Psychosis and then whips him into the ropes. Super Crazy makes the blind tag. Psychosis slides under Shannon's legs, and Shannon bends over to catch him. However, Super Crazy crosses his arms and powerbombs him, covering for the three count.)
Winners: Fugitivos Locos
David: And Crazy and Psychosis got their second chance, but the Ballard Brothers have been shut out.
Dick: So much for Canada. They've produced many fine wrestlers, but Shane and Shannon prove that they have a long way to go.
(Fugitivos Locos wave their Mexican flags to celebrate.)
(In the locker room, SELF is sitting around Trent Acid, watching him scratch himself.)
Acid: What?
Punk: Acid, you're a disgusting slob. And that name... Acid should not be used as an allusion to LSD, it should tell your opponents that you're going to burn through them like sulfuric acid. You obviously have a long way to go. Come with me. I'll give you some personal instruction on just what it means to be straight edge.
(He and Acid get up and leave.)
Punk: Jay, Dusty... watch Eddie. Nykk's not booked tonight, but I saw him wandering around earlier.
Jay: All right.
Dusty: Yeah, yeah.
(Punk and Acid exit the room.)
Jay: Eddie... you've got to listen to me. Punk may seem like he leads a good lifestyle, but he's not one of the good guys. Just come with us. We'll teach you everything you need to know about wrestling. Please, Eddie...
(Eddie gives him the X gesture.)
Eddie: Everything I need to learn is right here, with C.M. Punk. (Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Huh and Cheesecake are getting ready to go through the curtain.)
Cheesecake: Okay, we had a minor setback in the first round, but we've been in thi'th position before. Are you ready to rumble, Huh?
Huh: Yeah!
Cheesecake: Just remember what we talked about.
Huh: Yeah! Wait, what?
(Cheesecake sighs.)
Cheesecake: You've th'een that finishing move that Th'panky has, right? Sliced Bread #2? You need to watch out for it, because I don't think you can counter it.
Huh: Sliced Bread #2? Why does he call it that?
Cheesecake: I guess because it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, I don't know. Now, when the match starts, I think I should go in first. My arm isn't quite a hundred per'th'cent, so...
Huh: Wait, I've got it!
Cheesecake: What?
Huh: I'll be right back!
(He runs out of Cheesecake's line of sight.)
Cheesecake: Where are you going? We're up right now! Ah, well... I hate to see him go, but I looove to watch him leave!
(Delirious and Spanky wander by, giving Cheesecake a funny look.)
Cheesecake: No, I just like the back of his t-shirt, that's all!
Spanky: You're weird.
(He walks through the curtain.)
Delirious: Eyuor a gaf, bah!
(He follows Spanky as Cheesecake is wondering whether he's just been slurred or not.)
(In the arena, "Can't Stop" hits and Spanky and Delirious make their way to the ring.)
David: He's tweakin' out!
Dick: He seems to do that a lot.
David: I don't know what to make of that exchange in the back. It takes a lot to weird out these two, but Cheesecake just accomplished that.
("Pajamarama" hits and Cheesecake makes his way to the ring, looking back over his shoulder every so often for Huh.)
David: This is our other lower bracket match for the International Invitational. No flags this time, as both these teams are American.
Dick: I guess this is representative of 'Idiot America,' to quote Green Day.
David: But where's Huh at? He said he'd be right back, but the match is going to start momentarily.
(FINISH: Huh runs down to the ring shortly into the match, carrying a grocery bag. Cheesecake's arm gets worked on the whole match, but he eventually makes the tag to Huh. Huh clotheslines Spanky and Delirious. He gives Spanky a bulldog, and back body drops Delirious. He gives Spanky a back suplex and goes to the top rope for the moonsault. He hits it, but Delirious breaks up the pin. Cheesecake comes back in and fights with Delirous. Huh whips Spanky into the ropes, but it's reversed and Spanky sends Huh out of the ring with a leg lariat. Huh reaches into his grocery bag and pulls out a loaf of bread. In the ring, Spanky and Delirious hit Cheesecake with Get Well Soon, but before Spanky can cover, Huh waffles him with the loaf of bread. Spanky instinctively takes the bump, expecting to be hit with a belt or a brick. He holds his head until he realizes that he's fine. Huh celebrates by lifting the loaf into the air and yelling, "SLICED BREAD #1!" The ref goes to call for the DQ, but realizes what Huh's holding and decides to allow it. As Cheesecake gets up, Delirious dropkicks Huh into the ropes. He bounces off and right into the clutches of Spanky, who hooks both Huh and Cheesecake's heads. He gives them a Sliced Bread #2 sandwich, and he covers Huh while Delirious covers Cheesecake to get the three count.)
Winners: Reckless Abandon
Dick: Who would have thought out of these two teams, Reckless Abandon would be the smart ones?
David: Spanky and Delirious pick up the win, but the big news is that heavy favorites the Eccentrics have been shut out!
Dick: It's no wonder, with that moron Huh trying to use a loaf of bread as a foreign object. Get it? Wonder... bread.
David: Yes, very clever. Huh's Sliced Bread #1 didn't exactly work out the way he planned.
(The two teams shake hands, and Huh grabs the loaf of bread, asking them if they want a sandwich as a peace offering.)
David: It looks like the Eccentrics and Reckless Abandon will remain friends. When we come back, we'll see some of the ladies of MECCA!
Dick: That was weird.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Eddie Crowe is about to leave the building. He opens the door, but Nykk comes up and shuts it.)
Nykk: Hello, Eddie. It's been a long time, hasn't it? You know, I don't know what I find more despicable... the fact that you went to Punk for your wrestling training, and snubbing all of us at the RCW/MECCA training camp, or the fact that you've got your brother and best friend so worried that they'd turn their backs on me just to protect you.
Eddie: What do you want, Nykk?
Nykk: Not much at all. Seeing as how you're the source of all my misery in the past month, I figured I'd make you just as miserable.
(He clocks Eddie with a right hand, and another one sends Eddie to the ground. Nykk starts hammering Eddie with lefts and rights. He picks him up and throws him into some CLANGY PIPES. He kicks Eddie in the ribs and starts hitting him again, but the Pyro Twins round the corner and pull Nykk off of Eddie. They throw Nykk into the wall, and then hammer him to the ground. Eddie jumps on top of Nykk and hits him in the back of the head, but the Pyro Twins pull him off.)
Dusty: Come on, Eddie! Let's just go!
Eddie: You know what, Nykk? You deserve everything you get! C.M. Punk is like a brother to me, even more so than some I could name. (looks at Jay) And to top it off, you have no allies here! If you continue to bother SELF, you will be destroyed!
(Dusty drags Eddie out the door. Jay goes over and tries to help up Nykk, but Nykk swats his hand away. Jay kicks Nykk in the ribs once more and then follows Dusty and Eddie out.)
(In the arena, "Fell in Love with a Girl" hits and LuFisto makes her way to the ring.)
David: What a fight we just had in the back, as Nykk once again lost to the numbers game of SELF.
Dick: When will Nykk learn? You would think having been part of a stable would have taught him something.
David: We'll have more on that situation if more develops. Right now, LuFisto will be in action.
Dick: She's looking a little surly, isn't she?
David: Well, she was passed over for a Ladies' Title rematch last week by Katie Piehl. The title shot at Melee was given to Gail Kim.
("Take It Off" hits and Kelly Schweickart makes her way to the ring.)
Dick: Here's one you've known for a long time, right David?
David: Kelly and I go way back. She's shown a lot of promise in the RCW/MECCA training camp, but she is still a rookie, and she's in for a hard lesson against LuFisto.
(FINISH: LuFisto goes for LuFisto's Law, but Kelly counters with a backdrop. She gives LuFisto a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and goes up top, hitting the Kelly Star Press. She covers, but LuFisto gets a foot on the bottom rope. Kelly picks her up and whips her into the ropes, but LuFisto ducks behind and goes for a dragon suplex. Kelly sits out, and LuFisto picks her up wheelbarrow style. Kelly tries to counter into a bulldog, but LuFisto throws her off. She gives Kelly a Tornado DDT and covers for the three count.)
Winner: LuFisto
David: LuFisto picks up the victory, still looking strong out there.
Dick: Kelly almost had her at one point, though. This young lady is going to be something special.
David: Up next, however, the Round Robin for the MECCA Championship will continue, as Low Ki takes on Ronin Fox!
(Commercial Break)
(In the locker room, LuFisto is telling Gail Kim about her match.)
LuFisto: ...and then I drove that rookie's head right into the canvas for the win. And Katie Piehl passed me over for a title rematch? Please.
Gail: Listen. Just so we're cool, I want to say this. This is a great opportunity for me at Melee, and I'm going to go for the Ladies' Title. But don't get mad. I have a plan. Because when I win the Ladies' Title from Lisa Letty, you'll be the first one to get a shot, Lu.
LuFisto: You're damn right I am. We're the Dangerous Liaison. We do what we want, when we want. And don't worry; at Melee, I'll be ringside to make sure it happens.
(In the arena, the camera goes to David Mills and Dick Broccoli.)
David: Ladies and gentlemen, we're just a week and a half away from Melee, which will emanate from the Agora Theatre in Cleveland, Ohio, and be broadcast over UPN-17 in Dayton, Ohio, and other local markets. Be sure to check your listings. At Melee, the Round Robin will continue. Thanks to Low Ki, Bryan Danielson will have to once again wrestle twice in one night. He'll go up against Ronin Fox, and then later against Nykk.
Dick: That's not all, because also for the Round Robin, C.M. Punk will take on Low Ki.
David: That will leave just one match, the grudge rematch we've been waiting for, C.M. Punk vs. Nykk. That match will take place on some future date. Also at Melee, the International Invitational continues. In the second round of the upper brackets, the UK Wrecking Crew, representing the UK, will take on Katsushi Takemura and Keiji Sakota, representing Japan. Then, the Pyro Twins, representing the USA, will take on Kaientai Deluxe, also representing Japan.
Dick: And as we heard last week, Gail Kim will challenge for Lisa Letty's Ladies' Title.
David: Be sure to join us for Melee on March 12!
("Fighters Passion" hits and Low Ki makes his way to the ring.)
David: The Round Robin continues tonight, as all five competitors are tied at one win and one loss apiece.
(The scoreboard graphic comes up.)
Dick: Well, someone's going to be out of the running tonight. Either Low Ki or Ronin Fox.
("Wherever I May Roam" hits and Ronin Fox makes his way to the ring.)
David: Both these guys got off to a rough start at Bloody Valentine, losing their respective matches. However, they battled back and won their subsequent matches. Two weeks ago, Fox beat C.M. Punk, and last week Low Ki beat Nykk.
Dick: There's not any playing to the crowd with these two. They're all business tonight.
(FINISH: Fox manages to hit the Tail End, but Low Ki gets a foot on the rope. Fox whips Low Ki into the corner and hits a shoulder tackle. Instead of whipping him to the other corners, he sets Low Ki on the top rope and goes up for a superplex. Low Ki counters with knees to the midsection and goes for the Ki Krusher from the top. However, Fox escapes in midair and they both land on their feet, with Fox behind Low Ki. He hits a German suplex, and bridges for a close two count. He goes up for the Fox Fire, but Low Ki lands a shot in the ribs. Fox lands on his feet, but Low Ki quickly hits the Ki Krusher. Fox just barely manages to kick out, and Low Ki goes berserk. He grabs Fox's hair and starts landing Kawada Kicks to his head. Fox tries to block after the sixth one or so, but Low Ki just switches feet. Fox gets to his knees, but Ki still kicks him in the head repeatedly. Fox tries to block again, and Low Ki finally knocks him out with a standing enzugiri. He covers Fox and gets the three count.)
Winner: Low Ki
David: Low Ki just kicked the living hell out of Fox to get the win!
Dick: I've never seen Fox manhandled that badly.
David: Fox held his own throughout the match and almost won, but Low Ki just started unleashing those kicks, and Fox didn't look like he was sure how to counter that onslaught.
Dick: What this means is that Fox is out of the running for the MECCA Championship, since with two losses it will not allow him to get the three needed.
David: His only hope now is to win his match with Bryan Danielson on March 12 and hope that the other competitors tie at 2-2 to force a five-way match. We're out of Go Time for you this week, but be sure to join us in a week's time for the final countdown to Melee!