Paradise: Land of the Meat Puppets
SOUNDBREAK.COM
October 16, 2000
Live video interview
The Meat Puppets did a live online chat/video on Soundbreak.com on Monday, October 16... And apparently elemental chaos follows the Kirkwoods around wherever they go. Somehow, right before the interview was to begin, there was an explosion inside the studio. It was later explained that somebody hit the halon (?) system, a firefighting system placed in rooms with computers since water won't put out the electrical fire. This system actually turns oxygen into carbon dioxide, which is heavier, and falls to the ground. So it literally sucks the oxygen out of the air, and so the people in the studio were hightailing it out there. It was actually quite exciting.... Smoke and chaos was visible on the video.
After Soundbreak trying to straighten things out for about twenty minutes, Curt and Kyle finally appeared on screen. The interviewer was very nervous and especially shaken up because of what had just happened. She was asking somewhat serious questions and of course Curt was being his same old irreverent self.
I was trying to read the chat room, watch the video, and type up a transcript of what was being said at the same time. So of course what I ended up with is not quite a transcript, but it's at least a report of what was said. Curt has some great one-liners, especially the one about voting. Enjoy the following, somewhat half-assed transcript... Hopefully, Soundbreak will archive the video, but I'm not holding my breath.
ADMIN: MEAT PUPPETS ARE EN ROUTE TO SB.COM VIA HELICOPTER, APACHE BATTLE CHOPPER XKE.
STAND BY
Notes: Marnie, the interviewer, is writing down questions, and says that she's got the pre-interview jitters... People in the chat room are making bad and tasteless crack jokes & references. I chastise them, of course to no avail. Chaos ensues on the screen, smoke everywhere. It looks like the interviewer spontaneously combusted or the ceiling fell in.
ADMIN: MEAT PUPPETS ARE IN THE HOUSE ALONG WITH SEVERAL COPS AND FIREMEN!!!! THAT'S THE FIREMEN BYE... THE MEAT PUPPETS ARE IN THE HOUSE!!!
Curt is wearing a white t-shirt, green pants, layered with a magenta-ish long-sleeved shirt on top. He's wearing his hair pulled back in the typical ponytail. Kyle is wearing all black, and they're both wearing some silly tape on their noses.
ADMIN: Standby to OUTSIDE INTERVIEW W/MEAT PUPPETS.
There was an explosion in the studio.
Stand by
Yes, the fire prevention system EXPLODED
The whole crew is shook up here at SOUNDBREAK
So and Thus, we are conducting the Meat Pups interview outside on the balcony.
(Nice view of LA on video screen)
MARNIE SURVIVED THE BLAST. STAND BY
Marnie: We're on the balconies @ soundbreak... We're out here b/c just as I was about to say hello to the meat puppets, the fire thing exploded...
Curt: Typical occurrence...
Marnie: We're here with Curt Kirkwood, founding member of the Meat Puppets... Would you call yourself the founding member?
Curt:I'd call myself Curt Kirkwood.
Marnie: I thought you had two more albums to make for London..
Curt: We had to struggle to get off of there... We owed them three records and we put out a (???) and, you know, they turned against us.
Marnie: Did you want the new band to sound like the old?
Curt: I don't know what the old MP or the new MP sound like... I've never been able to figure out what I sound like... I majored in botany. They were making us wear that tape that you saw earlier... It was put on us while we slept... What was the question? No, no, I never have been able to figure out... It changes like Bowie... Pass the dust... I think I'm Bowie.
Kyle: Everybody's still shaken.
Marnie: How do you feel towards old fans who think you're being disloyal?
Curt (English, or maybe Scottish accent): I fart towards them.
Marnie: How's the album doing?
Curt: We're selling millions of copies... It entered at #1... [Actually] it's going down the toilet (makes motion)... A token appearance at any case is all it really takes, and then we can go back to our business to subverting all life on the planet.
Marnie: Let's play a new song from the new album.
Kyle: They took our studio!
Curt: Death to music!
"Armed & Stupid" is played.
ADMIN: THE MEAT PUPPETS ARE IN SHOCK FROM THE EXPLOSION. EVERYBODY BE PATIENT AND GIVE US YOUR QUESTIONS.
Kyle picks up a chair, acts like he's going to throw it off the balcony. They still have the retarded-looking tape stuck on their noses.
Marnie: Hey I'm marnie, I'm sitting with Curt and Kyle... We're missing Shandon and Andrew... I stayed up half the night doing research and I can see I'm the only one who's taking this interview seriously.
Curt (in English accent): I'm dead serious.
Marnie: How do you feel about George W. Bush? Do you wait for him in his car and ambush him, or do you just suck his dick?
Curt: I'll suck anybody's dick, it doesn't have to be George Bush. What I feel about politics is that I want to make a vampire movie with me and Brad Pitt and call Kirsten Dunst and tell her that we're making a movie just like the other one except without Cruise. That's how I feel about politics.
Marnie: Are you going to vote this year?
Curt: The day I vote will be the day you scrape me off the bottom of a table at Denny's, put me in your mouth, and say, "That's my favorite flavor."
Kyle: I don't even know if I'm registered or not.
Curt: I wish Nixon was still alive.
Marnie: I had a dream the other night that I was cooking Nixon dinner.
Curt: I had the same dream... I'm Nixon in my dreams all the time... If I could be Nixon in every dream, there would be flight involved.
Marnie: I tried to do some Internet research on Pariah--were you guys successful at all?
Kyle: We put out a record on Geffen, we were dropped, and you know, my brother committed suicide in 1995, we started the SIMS charity, I met Curt played in the original Meat Puppets a while, and then...
Curt: The other original two Meat Puppets bailed...
Marnie: So what's going to happen? Are you going to change your name or anything?
Curt: The two original members are still part of the group. It's a very loose organization. Anybody can be in the Meat Puppets if they want to. I'm going to hide this little bear (some small toy he's got in his hand) in the building, if you find it in the next 5 years, you can be in the band.
Marnie: So you guys are going to play live on television tonight...
Kyle: No way, no to TV.
Curt: The Meat Puppets say NO to TV... We're going to be on TV tonight. Sometime tonight, turn your TV on. You know, I don't think they're showing real things on TV. I think it's simulated, that it's on a stage, that people aren't really at a taxi stand... They want people to believe they're still friends after the commercial break...
Marnie: Well, thank you for this interview and good luck tonight...
"Hercules" is played. Interview's over.