Paradise: Land of the Meat Puppets
Letters In Reponse to "Shooting Star"
November/December 1998
11/19/1998
Letters: Puppet Tears
This is the very first time I have ever felt compelled to contact a writer or publication in response to an article. David Holthouse's very sad story on Cris Kirkwood ("Shooting Star," November 12) is an excellent piece of journalism, in my opinion, and unfortunately seems to be a common example of how a larger and larger portion of our society is now living.
Everyone mentioned in your story is a victim, and I feel for all of them. As a Meat Puppets fan, I was very depressed after reading the article. It's very sad to think that, after so many years of respectability and great music, this band will fall prey to the drug demon that has killed off so many other bands.
I really feel bad for Curt Kirkwood, but I'm happy he seems still to be involved with his passions for music and art, as he's very talented in both areas. I hope his life becomes happier for him. As for Cris, it now seems his life is in God's hands, and we can only hope that God takes care of him in whatever way He decides to.
Thank you for a great piece of work. It really opened my eyes.
Ben Quinton
Mesa
I hope David Holthouse is getting a lot of responses to his article. It is a powerful and sobering and depressing story. If I still believed in prayer, I'd be on my knees for Cris Kirkwood. As a former journalist, I know how much it can affect you to do a story like that. Thanks for walking into that valley. I hope some good can come of all this.
Gary Whitehouse
via Internet
I read the piece on the brothers Kirkwood today, and it almost made me cry. I've known about Cris' troubles for a long time (I'm the Puppets' publicist, and have been for the past seven years), but your story still floored me.
I know this is probably naive, but I'm hoping that "outing" Cris may finally jolt him into seeking some help. I'm no Pollyanna, but I am hopeful.
Regina Joskow Dunton
via Internet
11/26/1998
Letters: Brothers Grim
Please allow us to offer our praise to David Holthouse for the disturbing, eye-opening story of the brothers Kirkwood and the death of Michelle Tardif ("Shooting Star," November 12).
As my friends and I--each of us bearing the eternal, bittersweet moniker of "addict-in-recovery"--have read this sad and somewhat familiar tale, it helped us to remember just how lucky we are. Lucky that we are here, living, and no longer merely existing in the drug-induced haze we'd previously called life.
We know that there are those whose reaction will be anger toward a system that once again allowed people to "fall through the cracks." Those people will never know an addict's life. Sleepless expanses of time punctuated by a shower to mark the end of one and beginning of another approximate 24-hour period of time, much of which is spent perfecting the arts of manipulation and subtle deceit so that the addict can remain "peacefully content" in the existence created to escape that which they choose not to face. All systems are flawed and shouldn't always be blamed when a human being repeatedly makes poor choices.
In his article, Holthouse has shown his integrity as a journalist by so boldly stating the true ugliness of addiction and the fact that it knows no socioeconomic boundaries. If his goal was to reach someone and keep him from walking the path of an addict, he has most assuredly done so.
Although we have already walked this path to varying degrees, this article has served to reinforce that our choice for recovery was the correct one. We each fight temptation, but with the assistance of things such as this story, we can continue to make the choice to walk away. Thank you!
Name withheld by request
I managed the Meat Puppets from 1991-1994. I fell out with Cris Kirkwood when I called him on his drugging in the Too High to Die period. I merely wanted to say that I thought David Holthouse's piece was excellent, very sad (for both the brothers are wondrous) and a better argument against hard drugs than a million Partnership for a Drug-Free America ads--a real public service.
Jamie Kitman
via Internet
I thought that it was very rude of you to do what you did to the poor Kirkwood family. They did not deserve what you did, writing all of that crap about them, it was very rude. I could not believe that a human being could write what you did about other human beings. These people have feelings, too. You should be ashamed of yourself for writing such things about other people. I believe that you should write apology letters to the entire family. You should make a retraction.
Name withheld by request
Just got through reading the story on the Meat Puppets' Cris Kirkwood, and I must say that it was both unsettling and inspiring. Having met the boys at a promotional event for Too High to Die here in Cleveland, I can remember Derrick Bostrom and Cris as being the "most normal," with Curt being rather aloof and unapproachable. I was told, by Bostrom, that the brothers existed on a different plane than the rest of us, and another friend of mine who knew the band for years told me that the brothers did "a lot of drugs." That kind of dismissal is, unfortunately, pretty common in rock circles even to this day. The nightmare that Cris must be living is horrible beyond belief, and I can only say that I hope Curt finds it in himself to stay strong in his resolve and doesn't give up hope that one day his brother saves himself. Congrats on a fine piece of journalism.
Mark Holan
via Internet
Thank you very much for filling in my questions concerning the Kirkwoods. Your story really touched our family, as we were pretty close with Vera and the brothers. David Holthouse is a very talented writer, and I must say that with all the awards New Times gives out, he shall be awarded the "Best Ever Story."
Mike Barclay
via Internet
Just wanted to say thanks for writing the story and giving it a decent amount of column space. I've been a Meat Puppets fan since the mid-Eighties when I went to an all-ages show at the Mason Jar. For the past few years, I've been scratching my head as to what happened to the Valley's best rock band. I guess I wasn't too shocked at the overall situation (although the "poking a needle in an abscess" thing kind of wigged me out). From my perspective (never personally met the band but have attended a dozen or so shows and read many articles), if it was going to happen, Cris just struck me as the most likely to become a fat, reclusive junkie.
It's a shame, not only for reasons mentioned in your article, but I think Cris was just hitting stride with his songwriting; his contributions were among the highlights of the last couple of albums. Please keep us posted in future New Times--the Meat Puppets official Web site seems pretty stingy when it comes to this kind of news.
Name withheld by request
Congratulations on a chilling, infuriating and very moving feature on the Kirkwood brothers. As a longtime fan of the band, and foe of the shitty live-fast/die-young myth, I can only hope it has a happy ending. Thanks for telling it, and telling it so well.
Will Hermes
via Internet
David Holthouse has taken my breath away! His article about the Kirkwood brothers and "Mrs. Meat Puppet" was great! I had tears rolling down my face at some points; and others, a smile filled my face. I have known the people he wrote about, and the way he described and told the story behind each was profound and wonderful. The ending to the article was especially touching. I want to cry when I realize how real this whole mess is and that now anybody can know about it, yet I'm so happy that someone has set it straight.
Name withheld by request
I don't normally write fan letters to other writers, but David Holthouse's Meat Puppets piece was powerful. Great work.
Steve Terrell
The Santa Fe New Mexican
The article on Cris Kirkwood's decline into drug addiction brought painful memories of trying to help friends who became heroin addicts. These friends ripped me off and smiled in my face as they did so. Bright, intelligent people, using all their intelligence and cunning to lie to family and friends just to get money for their balm.
Drug addiction is a personal lack of morals. Addicts are greedy, instant gratifiers who take what they want instead of having to earn it like the rest of us. Integrity is its own reward. No rehab can give this. It has to be earned.
Sue Gunn
Phoenix
Your article on the Meat Puppets was compelling. After reading it, I was touched. It is such a shame that such talents went to waste. I hope others who are dealing with drug addictions or considering using drugs will take a look at how it ruins lives. This story was not fiction, just dead facts. Keep up the great work, New Times. This story was on the cutting edge.
Name withheld by request
12/03/1998
Letters: Track Meat
I just finished reading David Holthouse's Meat Puppets article ("Shooting Star," November 12) on the decay of Cris Kirkwood and the future of the band.
First of all, Holthouse did a wonderful job putting such a complex story together. I can't recall reading a kinder portrait of a troubled musician in a daily or weekly city newspaper. He managed to get across the hellish situations surrounding the involved parties, while remaining gentle toward Cris and Michelle.
Now I can say I'm pissed off. I hope Cris recovers, but I am certainly glad to hear that Curt, and possibly Derrick, plan to keep the Meat Puppets alive while Curt heads in new directions with his latest project. I've been a huge Meat Puppets fan for years, and was wondering what happened to them. I'm sad to find out about Cris, but hopeful he will pull out of this mess and rejoin the Puppets.
As a musician and a semi-journalist, I want to give you props for a tough story done well. Great job.
Brian Galante
assistant editor, Radio World
I read your article "Shooting Star." It's the best one yet. The story really hit home with me because I myself am a recovering addict. Michelle's story sounded just like mine and every other addict in this world. I used to wonder how the stars partied, and it's all the same. You see, when it comes down to getting high, we are all alike, we do what we can, or go where we can to get high. We will go to any lengths to get it. Back in the day, I would walk from 24th Street and Indian School down to Seventh Street and McKinley to get a $10 rock. It would be late at night so there would be no buses running; even if the buses were running I wouldn't dip into my cop money.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that it was a privilege to read your article. I honestly needed to read it because of all the stresses in my life these days. But you know something? I wouldn't trade them for all the dope in the world. Thanks again.
Olicia Thaxton
Phoenix
Very sad article about a band I loved and saw regularly in the Eighties but hadn't thought of in a long time. You did a fine job telling the story.
Mark Linn
Nashville, Tennessee
This is for Curt and Cris Kirkwood. I've never heard of you or your music. But I feel both of your pain more than you could know. I was a heroin addict for more years than I even believe sometimes. I know all too well the lure. I've lived in the trap. I know how Cris feels in that respect. I also know how his brother Curt feels. My husband also was "a suicide in progress." He opened his arms for the Reaper in December 1996 when he knelt in front of me with his head in my lap, crying like a baby that he just couldn't be sick again (withdrawal). I didn't see the .45 until it was too late. A bullet to the head was preferred over change.
The hard, sad truth is that addicts have no hope for themselves, and don't want any. The last thing Cris wants right now is any kind of reason to quit. I'm sure the death of his wife is one of his millions of reasons to use even more.
Curt, I know how you feel about not knowing what the hell is going on. Way too many people around me were spinning out, going belly up--including my own precious 22-year-old son. His decomposed body was found in the Mojave Desert six months before my husband spun out. It's so hard to understand why addicts don't love themselves as much as we do. We're at a loss to know how we can love them enough on the outside to make them feel it on the inside. I know now that I didn't fail to show my husband enough love. The heroin prevented him from feeling it.
You're right, Curt--it's damned hard to sit back and watch your family die around you, hard to think, create or do anything constructive. But somehow we just have to; if we don't, the monkey eats us, too. I sometimes think I, too, died of my husband's drug addiction. Curt, I've learned it's really okay to be mad at them. But please never lose that hope you have for Cris. He may need it soon.