Neko
Aloha to Chubby's Haven
This is my world. Of complaints. Of joy. Of sorrow. Of excitement. Of failure. Of success. Of anger. Of hopes. Of fears. Of needs. Of discoveries. Of disqusts. Of secrets. Of doubts. Of laughter. Of wonders. Of embarrassments. Of frustrations. Of memory. Of tranquilness. Of clarity. Of peace. Of dangers. Of complexity.
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May 10, 08 Morning, 7:37 am.
Bah humbug. I haven't been online in ages (handiwork of ap tests and finals from sadistic math teachers). @___@ Next wed is the last ap test...of this year and i'm gonna watch like 3 dramas to celebrate. :D can't wait. It's my incentive, along with the bet i made with my mumz. If i get a 3 on any of them, it's 5 bucks, 4=$10, 5-$20. Hopefully i can mooch 60 off of her. bwahahahaa...Other than the studying...nothing much has changed at school. Still sleeping in classes, trying not to sleep in classes, still sleeping anyways, and that's pretty much it. Oh.. In physio...we're learning about babies..again. bleh. I remember the good times in early elementary when we could guess where the babies come from. ahhh. ^^ nice memories. I remember that all the way until 3rd or 4th grade, I thought a new hole would magically appear during childbirth and the baby would just fly right out. But then in 4th grade, i was struck with realization! Perhaps the baby came from the butthole. During that time, i would grimace whenever my parents told me that some relative had just given birth. I mean, who the heck would want to hold a baby that smells like shit (literally). But, all that ended in 5th grade when we got that sex ed thing. blehh. nasty stuff. May god or buddha or w/e is out there strike me down if i ever do that hokey pokey thing. v___V
Tennis also semi-started yesterday and as i predicted, the coach called me out of shape. X( i got tired after one drill. But that drill was serious torture and I wasn't the only one out of breath. It was like twenty balls in a row while running left and right. -___- Plus, i got the wind knocked out of me when i crashed into the fence at the beginning. wth was that fence doing there anyway. psht. Looking forward to getting super super dark this year and Igtg walk to chinese school now, cus my dad is kiwi-shopping. ^^
~Chubby~
February 10, 08 Evening, 9:56pm.
XD For some reason I just can't seem to fall asleep. Normally I'd already be snoring my ass off by this time. That's why i've squeezed time enough to blog. Last Wednesday was Chinese New Years and I got some mula. Whoopeez! 86 bucks from several old people. It's a bummer that most of my relatives are in Taiwan though. I would be able to swipe more dinero if they were here. Maybe this summer I'll get a job. I really feel bad taking so much money from my mom, especially now that my dad doesn't work. Stupid fagg. Why does he have to be so useless and dependent upon my mother. She find jobs for him. She writes the freaking resume. Wait no...she makes me write the fcking resume. She calls the companies. GOD! Why doesn't she just wipe his ass for him too while she's at it! He doesn't even appreciate what she does and he always finds some kind of excuse as to why that job won't work for him. He stays in his room all day "studying english" when poor english skills is just his excuse to mask his cowardness and inability to face the world. I seriously don't understand what my mother ever saw in him. A couple years back, my mom earned a lot of money through stocks and the minute she let him in on it, he lost almost all of it. I still remember the days when they would argue about it from morning to night. Those were the worst days ever and that was also when I started losing all respect for my dad. In my eyes, he became just another pathetic piece of thing that was clogging up the earth. Yesterday, I had a dream that he overcame his stupidity and found a decent job. We got along and even played tennis together. He taught me his secret move that he learned when he was in college. All the while, without stuttering or making strange guttural sounds. I was overflowed with happiness and I felt like all was well with the world. Then.....I woke up and was smacked in the face by the frosty cold truth that my dream would probably never come true. No matter how hard one may yank at a turtle's shell, it won't come off. Not until the turtle dies and maggots eat away the inside will the shell finally be removed.
Anyways, that wasn't my point. What I was saying is that I'll probably find a job this summer and start saving for college. Now that I am certain that I won't get a full ride to the school of my choice, I should start saving. ^^ A while back I got my psat results back and I got a 196. I beat Lauren! yippe! Now, she's gonna have to be my slave for three months. *cackles evilly* So many schools that I've never heard of have been bugging me recently. My mom was so shocked when she saw me throw away four letters casually without even opening it. hahaaha.. Then she ran to the recycle bin to save the "Our school is the one for you"s. After she walked off, I just threw them back in the bin. XD covering it with a newspaper of course. hahahaa.. That way, she can't go and be some stupid letter hero.
Hmm. Valentine's day is just around the corner. @__@ All that mushygushy stuff is probably detrimental to my eyesight. Anyways, XD i'm gonna go finish the last episode of "soulmate" now. It's my favi korean drama now. ciao~
~Chubby~
December 12, 07 Evening, 6:51pm.
whoot! I finally managed to guess my geocities password. XD The stupid site wouldn't email me my password and I had to keep guessing and guessing. Anyways, I haven't blogged in ages once again. Schoolwork has been imprisoning me and love of sleep has been capturing the other third of my life. Junior year started and I have physio, eng3ap, apush, orchi, calc, fre3, and art this yr. Amazingly, my favi class this year is calculus...Aren't I loony? ^0^ I joined the tennis team and found out that I don't play so well in front of other people (my private tennis coach not included). Then, there was the psat in october. I didn't have a good feeling about it but I'm still hoping for an uber score. That way, I can get mucho mucho scholarships and spare my mom some agony of having to pay my college $. sigh.. This year I've begun to feel like my memory is going bad. It always seems like I can't remember what I did yesterday and this is taking a toll on my grades. Sometimes there's a burning question on my mind, but by the time I get to school I would forget it. I space out a lot now too. Also, I'm constantly plagued by loneliness. My inability to remember interesting things that have happened to me coupled with my natural shyness has left me feeling extremely dismal this year. I wonder if it's a normal stage in life or if I seriously have problems. I'm quiet and yet I don't want to be such. I'm shy and yet I hate it with a fiery passion. Sometimes I just want to shout out my opinions... but then I would think about the consequences. I would see classmates' arching eyebrows. Oh the eyebrows. How I loathe it. Then I would think that they would think nasty thoughts of me. I can't seem to decide which is better. Having people form no judgement of me by being silent, or having people form a horrible judgement of me by sharing my thoughts. At times, I feel like I'm loosing my closest friends because of my inability to share my stories with them. I feel as though I'm drifting ever so far from people. I'm so curious of what others, especially my friends, think of me now. Yet, I also know that one shouldn't care about what others think. It's easier said than done. I feel like I'm living a dream. Everything comes and goes in a massive blur. When did this begin? If only I could remember... Another problem I've been considering is my guy-itis. My sister claims that guys make better friends than girls cus they don't think funny thoughts. Loads of other people have said the same. Yet, I just can't talk to guys normally. This is fudging irritating! In a way, I feel so discriminating. I can't help it tho! I don't have a single guy friend at the moment.. at school at least. If this goes on, I will end up as the ninety year old with ninety cats. X_____X Not that it's a bad idea. I've told myself since I was five that I would remain celibate through life cause I can't stand the idea of being tied down by marriage. Still though... all this loneliness that has been bugging me this year has begun to poke at my once firm resolution. Igtg eat now.
~Chubby
November 22, 06 Evening, 6:31pm.
hmm. I haven't posted in a long time. New school year started and it's going by so fast. So far, tenth grade sucks butts. T___T This year I have Eng2A, French2, Orchi, World History, Chemhonors, precalc, and pe. Life has settled back into an eternal cycle of hell with clouds. I signed up for the french dance/singing this year and I just have to get sick 2 weeks before the performance..Now i'll have to sing like a horse. ARghhh.. i feel like a bittermelon right now.. Mom is in Taiwan right now, Turkey day is tomorrow, Bro got married to a white chick, dad is annoying as ever, cat is still alive and kicking at the age of 79, developed a passion for special K bars, got selected into national honor roll and national society of high school scholars, really want to go study abroad in Australia with Leadamerica but don't have six thousand bucks ready to spend, got cable, and turned 2x shyer. T___T alright...that sums up the five months i skipped.
~Chubby~
June 15, 06 Night, 10:49pm.
Nothing in life is a waste of time.
When you do nothing and you think nothing, even then it's not a waste of time. (meditation) Why must my parents think of computers as a waste of time? True, I might have been a little outrageous at watching nonestop cardcaptor for nine hours straight, but that still doesn't qualify for me to get scolded like a damn five year old. gotta go back to youtube. later. XD
~Chubby
This is some reflex tester that I got addicted to a while back. XD try it. Click start and when the color in the box changes, click stop as fast as you can.
