| Ashlee Simpson Should Be Launched Into Orbit |
| Her sister is bad enough, so why the fuck would the Simpson family introduce their other talentless daughter into the world? As if our pop culture hasn't gone to shit already, we get the most over-exposed attention-craving "Popeye"-chinned wannabe ever. Her pointless show infests the asscrack of television, MTV, and she even played at the Orange Bowl. Why? WHY would ANYONE in their right mind place a no-talent bitch with shitty pop songs in front of 72,000 yelling, angry, sweaty middle-aged men? Unless she's swinging her tits around or half-naked, nobody wants to hear/see her. If I had my way, after they booed her, I would have let them all down onto the field to beat the living shit out of her and then maybe, MAYBE we'd all be rid of the commercial trash that is Ashlee Simpson. But because of these things called "human rights" we can't kill her because of how shitty she is - we simply must launch her into outer space. Here's how it would happen: 1) Some scientists from NASA ask her to do a promotional tour for science from outer space in a spaceship. 2) She will agree, because she's an exposure-whore. 3) We shove her little ass into a rocket and aim towards the sun. 4) Rocket "accidently" runs into sun, it explodes, Ashlee is no more. 5) The world rejoices. Sounds simple to me. You know, I seriously believe that the only reason Ashlee is famous is because one day she ran up to her daddy and whined like a little bitch. "DADDY!!!! Jessica is a lot hotter than me and she's famous and she has a husband and gets EVERYTHING! I WANNA BE FAMOUS TOO!!!! WAHHH!!" and then her dad wanted her to shut the fuck up, much like everyone else would soon feel, so instead of beating her in the face with a 2x4 he gave her a webpage, an album, and took some xanax and said "What the fuck have I created." Thanks a lot, jackass. Thanks a fucking lot. If you've ever been to Ashlee's webpage, you'll notice that she never acknowledges her mistakes. She avoids them like the little bitch she is, so, I'm going to make a list of what she's fucked up on, and who she blamed (or would blame): |
 |
 |
| Basically Ashlee Simpson sucks. Here's proof: |
| Yay I suck! |
 |