FOREVER LONELY

Preview: This story is about how it can be possible to be around other people and still feel like something is missing. This is true especially after losing someone special to you.

It was by far a sad time . Bill and Doris Anderson had been married almost 50 years. They had talked about plans for there upcoming Golden Wedding Anniversary. Both wanted to travel now that they were retired. With there kids all grown, now was a good time. But all was not to be, for illness robbed them of there dream. Shortly before they were to celebrate 50 years together, Doris was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Doctors did everything they could, but they couldn’t stop the disease. All they could do was treat it and try to help her deal with the pain. Bill could do nothing but comfort her and try and be strong for her. Within a short period of time, Doris lost her fight. As she passed away Bill was by her side, holding her hand. Bill Anderson was a proud man who always tried to make people believe he could handle anything. But when he lost his wife, this was a pain he couldn’t handle or hide. His kids were also there and upon seeing there Father cry, they themselves cried . Bill Anderson lost more then a wife. He lost his lifelong soulmate, his best friend. At the funeral there were quite a few people. Friends and family alike came to say goodbye to Doris Anderson. They were there also to console her family. After the funeral, Bill Anderson had well wishers come by the house, they all would say how sorry they were for Bill’s loss. It made him feel somewhat better when he seen how people cared. After things settled down and everyone had gone home, Bill sat at the kitchen table and talked to his kids . Bill and Doris had 3 children, a girl and 2 boys. All of them were grown. As they all sat together at the kitchen table, they talked about the past and talked over good times. Bill Anderson then surprised them when he told his kids that he and there Mom had known each other since they both were kids. As he began to talk, Bill’s mind drifted back to the day when he first met Doris. They both lived in the small town of Laurelville, Maine. Bill recalled he was walking along down by the lake when all of a sudden he was struck by a pebble . It stung like being attacked by a bee. Bill could only say “ouch” and grab at the back of his neck. From up in the tree he could here someone say to him, that was just a pebble, your lucky I didn’t bean you with a big rock. All Bill could think to say as he turned towards the tree was that it hurt. Up in the tree was a curly blonde haired girl with a slingshot in her hand. The girl told Bill that oh, your just a baby. Bill said he took exception to being called a baby. I am not, I’m 9 years old. The girl told Bill that she was going to be 11 years old soon. She told Bill she was just having fun with him and didn’t mean anything by it. Bill decided that since he liked climbing trees also, that he would join her. As he grabbed on to a low branch and was about to lift himself up, the girl climbed down and stepped on his fingers, causing Bill to let go and fall backwards. After sitting up Bill asked her why she did that ? She was quick to point out to him that this was her tree and nobody could climb her tree until she got to know them better. The girl then climbed down out of the tree and sat down beside Bill, who was still sitting down where he fell. Bill told the girl he was lucky he didn’t get hurt. The girl then extends her hand while smiling, telling Bill my name is Doris. Bill extends his hand, shaking hers and still not smiling, telling her my name is Bill. The girl then asked if Bill wanted to be friends. Bill simply answered by saying ok. As they were about to walk away Bill told the girl, you sure do have a strange way of making friends. Doris just laughs. They walked along the lakes edge, skipping stones and talking while the day passed by. They both lived in the same town, but separate ends. Over time they became good friends and both looked forward to the weekend, which is when they spent most of there time together, since both attended school. Coming from a time when life moved at a slower pace, Bill and Doris always seemed to find something to do. Having fun meant digging up worms to go fishing with, or skipping rocks in the lake, or even playing games like hide and seek. Bill recalled his early memories to his kids, telling them how life was simpler when there Mom and him were kids. Back then we had to use our imagination to have fun. We didn’t have the choice of toys or computers like today. Bill’s youngest son Terry spoke up in a jokingly way, imaga- what? Bill laughs, always a clown, as he responded to his son’s humor. Bill recalled a special time in his life with Doris. It was towards the end of there first summer as friends. As always they were down by the lake having fun and talking when something happened that would change the way he felt about Doris from then on. Standing close by each other talking, Doris turns towards Bill and kissed him on the cheek. Surprised to say the least, Bill reached up and touched his face where Doris just kissed him. Looking at Doris, Bill was at a loss for words. Doris, looking puzzled, asked Bill if he was ok. All Bill could think to say was yes, I think so. Doris asked him if he had ever been kissed before? Bill responded by saying, only by my Mom. Doris, kind of sad, asked Bill if he was mad at her? Bill tells Doris, of course not, you just kind of surprised me. Doris then smiles at Bill. Later, after going home, Bill recalls walking in the house. As he crossed the living room to head upstairs he passed by his Dad, whom he didn’t even notice sitting in his chair. Bill’s Dad looks up from his chair where he was sitting, reading his newspaper, and watched as his son started to walk by. Surprised by his son, Wyatt Anderson asked Bill if he was ok. Bill, his mind on the events which happened earlier, just says yes, I’m fine. But bill had this puzzled look on his face, like he couldn’t figure out what was on his mind. Wyatt Anderson asked his son what was bothering him. He insisted Bill tell him. Bill asked his Dad what was it like when he was first kissed? Wyatt knew exactly what was his son’s problem. Actually thinking it was something of a far more serious nature, he fought back from laughing. Wyatt Anderson tells his son to follow him back down to the living room, as Bill had started upstairs to go to his room. Sitting on the couch beside each other Wyatt then looks at his son and tries his best to recall how he reacted under the same situation. Wyatt told his son not to worry. When a girl kisses you doesn’t always mean love. It could be her way of saying thank you for being a friend. Or that you are special to her. Bill asked his Dad, couldn’t she have done that with just a handshake or by saying thank you? Wyatt laughs a little then says I suppose. But sometimes girls have other ways of saying you are special to them. Wyatt did offer his son some advice. Don’t go making it out to be something it’s not. I’m sure she was just trying to let you know you are a special person, and a friend to her. Bill decides to take his Dad’s advice. He would continue to think of Doris as just a friend. But the memory of that first kiss would never be forgotten. Bill and Doris would have friendly competitions all the time. When they didn’t go fishing, they might see who could throw a rock or skip one across the lake the farthest. Bill and Doris liked to play hide and seek as well as other popular games. They never needed money to have fun. They both seemed to be just as happy just spending time together and playing. Life was simpler back then. It moved at a slower pace. A fact that Bill would remind his own kids of many times. Bill reminded his kids that back when there Mom and he were kids they didn’t have no fancy toys or computers. They used there imagination. At the time it was all they had. They were happy as long as they got to spend time together. Bill liked being with Doris because she didn’t poke fun at him for his size, being small and somewhat frail. Doris was slightly taller then Bill, and she was a couple of years older. Both could run fast, which made there games of tag more competitive. Both Bill and Doris gained a friendship which they could treasure the rest of there lives. Bill remembered the time that while out running and playing with Doris, he tripped and fell, hurting his ankle. Doris had to help him hobble his way home. That is how she got to meet Bill’s Mom and Dad. That and they come to know her better, because she would come by every day to see how Bill was doing. There was one instance when Doris came by to see Bill that he remembered it fondly. Actually it was unlike no other visit from Doris, except how Bill’s Dad reacted. Wyatt Anderson liked Doris, but on this day he was in a joking mood. After letting Doris in the house Wyatt calls out to Bill’s Mom, Hey honey, we better leave these two love birds alone. Then he tells Bill, your girlfriend is here. Bill stares at his Mom and Dad as they walk up the stairs so Bill and Doris could have some privacy. Bill then turns towards Doris and tells her, parents sometimes they act worse then kids. Bill still wasn’t able to put his full body weight on his hurt ankle. So Doris helped him in whatever way he needed. It wasn’t long and Bill recovered and was back on his feet. And life went back to normal for the two kids. The summer vacation would be coming up soon and Bill and Doris like most kids looked forward to the break from school. They were already making big plans on how they were going to spend there summer. Bill suggested they try to build a tree house for themselves. They could also do more fishing and even go see a movie when they had the money. But there plans were dashed when Doris was informed by her parents that they were going away for the summer. Doris had to break the news to Bill, who wasn’t to happy about Doris going away for the summer. Wendy Anderson asked her Dad, that must have been difficult on you. Bill tells his daughter, yes it was. I had come to rely on Doris as my friend. At the time she was about the only friend I had. Bill told his daughter Wendy, that was the longest most boring summer I think I ever had. Since no other kids lived around me, I had to try and entertain myself. Luckily the summer passed by, and just before school was to start again, Bill knew that Doris and her family was to return. Bill was playing in his room and reading when his Mother called him to tell him he had a phone call from Doris. Bill was given the good news he had hoped for, Doris was back in town. Arrangements were made to meet each other down by the lake as they always did. Bill hurried as fast as he could to the lake, but there was no sign of Doris. After looking all over for her, Bill come to the conclusion that he must have arrived before Doris, so he would just wait. After a short while someone had sneaked up behind Bill and placed there hands over his eyes. Saying guess who, but Bill knew right away who it was. Of course he guessed it was Doris on the first try. Turning around Bill was a little surprised for Doris had started to change over the summer. She had gotten a little taller and had started the transition from girl to woman. Of course Bill himself was also getting older and growing up, but since he didn’t see Doris all summer, the changes to her were more noticeable to him. For a moment he was surprised, then he commented to Doris how she was different. Doris laughs, then tells Bill that everyone changes. She tells him it’s called growing up. They were so glad to see one another that they hugged and smiled at one another. Of course even through they were both getting older Doris and Bill were both still kids, so they set about deciding what to do on that afternoon. They both decided to go fishing, so they run home and picked up there fishing gear and polls. When they got back to the lake they set about digging up worms for bait. It was a happy time in there lives and the kids were both content. Of course as they got older they would both enjoy good times, and they would know sad times as well. One day upon returning home from school Bill was a little puzzled that nobody had been there to greet him. Going into the living room he finds his Mom sitting down crying, and his Dad had his arms around her, trying his best to console her. Bill became concerned and asked what was wrong. Wyatt and Laura Anderson prepared to tell Bill the tragic news. Having him set beside them on the couch, Wyatt looked at his son and told him that your Mom’s Dad Albert passed away. Bill had not only lost his Grandfather, but a friend as well. For Albert loved his grandson and spoiled him on every occasion. Losing his Grandfather was hard on Bill and since he had never experienced losing someone to death, he didn’t know what to think. All Bill knew was that it couldn’t have happened, but it had. Becoming upset, Bill runs upstairs and closes himself in his room. Jumping into his bed, Bill began to cry. Bill already missed his Grandfather because his Grandfather made him feel special. Whenever they went to his house for a visit Bill always got lots of attention. His Grandfather would always have icecream and other goodies on hand. Bill’s Dad Wyatt entered his room and did his best to help his son deal with the pain he was feeling. But he himself had been upset and he had also been crying. This had been Bill’s first experience with losing someone. And as he related to his daughter Wendy, Bill told her that it never gets any easier to accept. Doris came to Bill’s house as he didn’t show up at the lake as was usual. Knocking on the door Doris waited to see if anyone would answer it. Coming to the door was Bill’s Mom. She tells Doris that Bill can’t come out to play. She tells Doris that we lost my Dad today and Bill is taking it hard. Doris tells Bill’s Mom how sorry she is, then asked if she would tell Bill hello for her. Bill didn’t come out that weekend and he didn’t see Doris again until the following weekend. The two kids met by the lake, and Bill was still affected by the loss of his Grandfather. Doris could feel his pain, and she hurt for Bill because she realized how much his Grandfather must have meant to him. The two kids hugged and Doris told Bill how sorry she was for him. They walked along by the lake talking, and Bill told Doris what a great man his Grandfather was in his eyes. He missed him very much.

Chapter 2

Bill tells his daughter Wendy that the loss of his Grandfather made him realize just how special he was to me. It changed my outlook on life and I became more aware. Bill remembered how Doris helped him through that difficult time. Just her being a friend gave me someone to talk to, and that was important to me. Time passed by and we had been friends for a couple of years. When you’re a kid you don’t realize that you are changing all the time. We didn’t play the same games we used to. We did still dig for fishing worms, but we didn’t play in the dirt like younger kids might. It was around this time that I worked up the nerve to ask Doris on our first date. My Dad drove us down town around noon and told us he would be back at 6pm to pick us up. That would give us plenty of time to see a movie and get something to eat at the malt shop later. It was just another typical Saturday afternoon, but we were enjoying ourselves. Wendy commented to her Dad how the two of them were special to each other. Bill tells his daughter that we didn’t realize it but we had started a relationship that would last a lifetime. Bill tells his daughter Wendy that when you have spent as much time with a person as I did with your Mom, you come to rely on that person. You actually become more like one person. You learn to function as a team. Bill pointed out that it isn’t always smooth sailing. But you learn to deal with the bad times just as well as the good. It is at these bad or rough times that you can rely on one another . It’s when your love is most tested. He tells his daughter that towards the end when your Mom was very ill, she would sometimes cry, feeling that she was a burden. And things that she couldn’t help upset her. I calmly reminded her that it was my job. I would tell her that it was a way of paying her back for all she had done for me over the years. As she slowly declined, she refused to give up or give in. She was determined to fight to the very end. Nothing was harder then having to watch her get worse and worse. But I hid my pain and carried on as if nothing was wrong. If I had showed my grief, then she may have let herself get depressed and not been able to fight the terrible disease that so ravished her body. All of our friends felt so bad for her, but they admired her courage. Everyone, including myself thought she just might win over this terrible disease. But it wasn’t to be. They say you can’t win over death, but she sure did try. Bill had a smile on his face as he recalled the fight Doris waged against cancer. As he turned and looked at his daughter, Wendy had a tear falling down her cheek. She told her Dad that Mom was the bravest person that she ever knew. Bill shook his head yes and acknowledged that Doris was indeed just that, very brave. Bill told his daughter Wendy that whenever he had a problem he didn’t bother trying to hide it from Doris. Somehow she always knew. He went on to say that if you have been with someone long enough they actually learn how you think, learn how you act, and know just as much about you as you know about yourself. And it goes both ways, I knew your Mother like she knew me. We had quite a life together. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. Wendy Anderson didn’t come out and say so, but she was very concerned about her Father. With the loss of his wife/ longtime friend, she was afraid he would spend to much time thinking about it. Of course she knew it was only natural to grieve, for she to was doing the same. After all, Doris was her Mom. But even through Bill thought about her all the time, he still tried to maintain an active life. He had his work, and he always had the Grandchildren. He tried to stay on the go so not to let himself get run down and depressed. Because of his college background Bill was often asked to appear as a guest speaker at college campuses around his home state. During the winter months he usually stayed home and spent time with his children and grandchildren, which helped to make his life feel more fulfilled. On one particular trip he remembered laying in bed at his hotel room. As he was fixing to drift off to sleep, he could have sworn he could here a voice calling his name. But it was so faint that he couldn’t hardly make out what was said. He decided that it was all his imagination caused from being overtired. Yet still he was afraid to go to sleep at first until fatigue won out and he drifted off to sleep. The morning came, and after attending a lecture that day Bill looked forward to going home. His daughter had stayed at his house so she could watch over the place. Bill was never more happy to get home then after one of these road trips. He was seriously considering giving up the lecture circuit and start relaxing, after all he felt he had earned it. Bill was feeling tired, after all he was now 70 years old. All he wanted to do was relax. He continued working as long as he did because he felt good and he wanted to stay busy. But now he looked forward to spending some time traveling and visiting with his kids and grandchildren. So he would travel when he felt up to it, and when time permitted. Bill had a full life. The one thing that pained him was the loss of his wife who was also the best friend he ever had. He would think about her quite often, no matter how he tried to keep himself occupied. His kids worried about him, but they couldn’t keep a constant watch on him. They had families of there own. Bill understood this and didn’t hold any anger towards his kids because they couldn’t come to visit all the time. He had plenty to keep him busy around the house, plus he didn’t give up on his hobbies. But whatever Bill did to keep himself busy, he would always find himself thinking about Doris. They had spent all there adult life together, and even part of there childhood. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but they worked there way through the rough times, and enjoyed the good ones as well. The most important issue was that they were always here for each other. Bill relived fond memories of the life he had with Doris. At times Bill’s daughter Wendy worried about her Dad living alone. But she knew better then to try and make decisions for her Dad. Bill liked making his own decisions and being in control of his own life. So she just let her Dad know that she was nearby if ever he needed her. Bill did think about Doris quite often, but he seen nothing wrong with that. And as a way of showing how much he cared for her, he continued to wear his wedding ring. There love for each other was very special. Bill remembered how they had made an agreement with each other that if something should happen to the other, they would go on with there life but never forget. A few years would pass, and everything was going along good for Bill. He exercised, followed a diet, and kept a positive attitude about things. But there came the day when Bill himself became ill. Starting out as what Bill thought was a cold or flu, he wound up going to see a doctor who in turn put Bill in the hospital. Fluid was building up around his heart and doctors wanted to try and find out why. His kids came to visit every day, and they were all worried about there Dad. But Bill was doing ok. He seemed well. But then came the night his condition took a turn for the worse. It was cool and damp outside, and it rained off and on the whole day. That day Bill not feeling well, he didn’t eat to much. About all he could do was stare out the window of his hospital room or around his room. It’s as if he was searching for something. That evening as he slept, Bill could hear what sounded like someone calling his name. Although he was weak, he dismissed it as a dream. But in the days that were to follow his condition worsened. Doctors called for his kids to be by his bedside. As they all sat beside there Dad they heard him say in a low voice, I’m coming home. As Bill lye in his hospital bed he seen a flash of white light. Moving towards the light, Bill found himself back at the lake where he first met Doris. First looking out over the lake, he then turns to his side to find Doris standing there. Both Bill and Doris appeared as they had as children. They just stood there for awhile staring at each other. Then Doris smiled and told Bill how she has been waiting for him. They then joined hands, turned and started walking towards the lake. When they reached the lakes edge, they faded out of sight.

The end

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