Well, we left the store and went home, and all she could talk about was how cute this one dog was, a little golden lab. Anyway, around this time I got the bright idea that she might like to have this cute little dog. So, when she�s at work, I head down to that pet store to buy her this little golden shit-machine.
But, when I get there, no lab. Someone bought it a few hours ago. So, I browse all the other puppies they have. However, there isn�t anything near as �cute� as that damn lab. So eventually, the storeowner asks if he can help me. I let him know my dilemma and he has a great idea. Since I couldn�t find any puppy I liked, he�d take me to the back room to see the only dog he doesn�t have on display.
The back room is really hot and really dark. He leads me through a long corridor, opening numerous locked doors, until we finally reach �the back room!� Dum dum DUUUUUUUUUM!!! This room in the source of all the heat. �This is the dog I was telling you about,� the storeowner tells me. I look over to where he�s pointing and see the dog. The dog was a dark-coat golden lab. Only, it wasn�t a puppy. Actually, it was far from a puppy. It was over eight feet tall, was breathing fire, and had three heads. It was the guardian of Hades: CERBERUS!
The storeowner then tells Cerberus that he�s brought today�s meal. This guy doesn�t want to sell me this dog; he wants to feed me to this dog. Well, I�m not about to get eaten, especially when I�m trying to do something nice. Cerberus lunges at me, but because my ninja training gave me cat-like reflexes, I was able to dodge him.
I pulled out my Uzi, which I always bring to pet stores, and started giving that dog a lead salad. But, even with two hundred bullets in its side, Cerberus kept coming after me. I decided that a direct attack was better, so I withdrew my katana and lunged at the giant dog. I slashed and hacked but the dog didn�t even slow down.
Finally, out of options, I screamed, �WAIT! Don�t eat me!� Cerberus stopped and said, �Ok.� I was shocked. �But, I�m still hungry,� Cerberus told me. �Well,� I said, �eat him.� And I pointed at the owner. So, Cerberus�s three heads ripped the storeowner apart and ate him. I said goodbye to the dog and he told me to have a good day. My girlfriend didn�t get a puppy, but I don�t really care, because I made a new friend� and he guards Hell.