5-8-00
So a friend of mine was in his room here at my fine educational establishment, and he happened to say the word "piss." Then, out of nowhere a fellow from across the hall comes into the room and tells him, in a none too polite manner, to stop saying "piss," it was offensive. Now I am all for respecting a persons personal views and stuff, but his impolite portrayal of this belief is really what prompted me to start thinking about the subject.
Now, in the general public there are some words that are considered commonly offensive, I won't list them here but if you read the bulletin board you can find them there. Personally these words don't offend me in the least, to me they are just words, especially expressive words, but still....words. Besides, I don't like to get hung up on such petty things as words, and this is my whole point. Why should one get themselves all in a tizzy over a little word? Now this is especially bothersome to me because this fellow is most likely training to go into Christian misitry, that is what my school does. Now, my point, how can one hope to do ministry to the people of the world if you get all hung up on the words they use. "Oh no, he said 'piss,' now my train of thought is all off and I don't think I can clearly express the love of God! I hope they don't say 'fuck,' I just might have to leave." Does that sound right? No. Of course not. We need to get over our petty hang ups and realize that the people of the world are in pain, lots of pain, and in order to help them find a hope we have to be able to relate to them. We can't do that when we are all worried about which words are "bad" and which words are "okay."
9-8-00
Well, I finally did a little bit of work on my site, not much but some. Oh well. So basically I did nothing on the site all summer. Wait I didn't have a summer...there was no summer 2000....I promise. Well, there was, but it has officially been deemed the "Summer From Hell." Yea, it was that bad. I flipped my car and am lucky to be alive, this in the midst of other emotional trials suffered by me and and my now best friend. It sucked. Well enough about that.
So I was thinking, apathy sucks. It really does. Living in apathy is not living at all. In order to experience life you have to feel it. When you are apathetic, you feel nothing. Here is the problem, apathy is extremely hard to get out of, because even if you realize that you are stuck in this unemotional pit, you don't care enough to do anything about it. It blows, seriously, I hate it. What happened with me is that I was in a dark, depressed, bitter, and angry hole for awhile...then I just died. I didn't feel anything anymore. Sometimes I would feel something, and that was nice, but most of the time I just sat around. I am far from completely over this problem. Anyway, my situation got me to thinking about how other people might feel in this situation. I realized that apathy sucked more than any emotion, because to feel and emotion is to experience life more fully than to not feel anything at all. Ideally one would want to feel happiness and joy, or at least peace and contentment. Unfortunately those things are hard to find. There are a lot more things to be angry, bitter, or remorseful about. Maybe this is why there is so much hate in today's youth, especiallly in the music. Not that I am bashing the music or saying it makes kids hate. I am just saying that many time kids pick music that expresses how they feel whether they realize it or not. And there are a lot of bands out making music full of bitterness and anger. Music is expression of emotion and I am not condemning it at all. These emotions are also usually very intense, I can say so from personal experience. Anger and remorse are passionate feelings, they fill you up whether it is a healthy filling or not. Bitterness and hate are also empowering. They general public usually takes a lower place to you when you feel this way. I considered everyone else stupid, and I hated "preppie" kids (I am not sure why all time). I, for some reason, considered myself above them. This is a lofty position and is not often let go of easily. Well....anyway...I have written quite a bit and am rambling now. See ya later.