For the few who will see this movie.....

For the fewer still who will read this review.....

Ladies and Gentleman........

Let's get Ready To Remember!!!!!!!!!
                                  By:  Mr. Kritik

   Well I saw the movie Ready To Rumble.  I paid matinee price so I'm not going to sue the producer for the price of the ticket.  See I'm not a real film critic so I actually have to pay to see the films I review (that's why I've reviewed so many videos).  However, I'm not sure if this was a bad movie or not.

Weird, huh?

    Well, It's like this.  I don't remember much of the movie.  I remember some pretty funny parts, well at least I remember laughing pretty hard at some parts.  Well lets go with the plot, or what I can remember of it.

   So it starts off with two guys--Courtney Cox's husband and the guy who played Tweeter in Varsity Blues--who think wrestling is real, and are big Jimmy King (Oliver Platt) fans.  Well through some inner circle conspiracy, Jimmy King really get beat up by Diamond Dallas Page (Page Falkinburg) and then really get kicked out of the WCW by this other guy.  So these two guys lose their job, then do some stuff and find Jimmy King.  Then some other stuff happens, Rose McGowen gets hit in the face with a ladder, and Jimmy King really beats up Diamond Dallas Page and really wins his championship belt & 1 million dollars.  Happy Ending: The End.

    All in all, this movie was just silly.  There's no real plot, or anything particularly funny or important that happens.  It's just plain silly. David Arquett plays a complete idiot.  Tweeter is still Tweeter, except he doesn't play football.  Page Falkinburg plays the exact character he plays evey Monday, Wednesday, and occasionaly Sunday, so he was saddly decent.  Surprisingly, Olivar Platt was the best actor in this mediocre film.

    Not to take anything away from Oliver Platt, I'm actually a big fan (3 Musketeers, Simon Birch, Bulworth) but I never expected that he would be in a movie, or give a performance that would stand out from the rest of the film so much.  Then you have to consider the circumstances too.  He was playing a wrestler, bad actors anyway.  This wrestler was also a 3rd rate person, a drunk, a dead beat, etc. etc. etc.  I mean seriously, how hard could it be to play this part.

   Well now it's time to rate the movie.  Except I can't remember how much I liked the flick.  I guess I'm gonna have to give it a high rating, like......uh......5 Elements.  I know, I know, very high rating, ridiculously high even.  Why?  Well, it's about wrestling, my 1st or 2nd true love.  Also and most importantly, I can't remember anything about the movie I didn't like....Then again I can't remember anything about the movie I did like, so I must be in a good mood.

Oh yeah, and check out the message board, that Mat Molotov's a smart guy.

                                                    "Come get some."
                                                              -Bruce Campbell; Army of Darkness

A Note From Mark:

            Once upon a time, me and Mr. Kritik went to see "Galaxy Quest" expecting it to be a crappy movie.  It turned out to be exceedingly hilarious.  Well, guess what.......that didn't happen again.