Fun things to do when meeting new people (that you will never see again) ((or have no desire to)): 1) Start off every story with "This happened when I was still a man..." (If you're a guy, use woman instead.) 2) Make all of your stories about your current "main squeeze," Luke Skywalker. 3) When asked easy questions, respond with a hearty, "Why are you so interested?" Proceed to use shifty eyes. 4) Ask them a simple question, like what are they doing tonight. When they answer, open your cell phone, turn around, and mutter, "The plan is off! I repeat: the platypus will NOT be flying at midnight!" 5) Change your name every 7 mins or so. 6) Change your accent with your name. 7) Start a conversation with a nonexistent person. I.e. "Oh, really? There was this one time... *turns around* I told you to stop interrupting me!" 8)Stranger: I went to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving. You: Omg, I went to the Bahamas too! Stranger: Really? I spent my Thanksgiving in _______ with my Aunt Georgia! You: Omg, I went to your Aunt Georgia's for Thanksgiving too! 9) Talk about your past life as a chipmunk that met his untimely death at the hand of a rabid sea monkey (with pink wings). 10) Proceed to talk about your life as a frying pan in the Congo. 11) Make a beeping sound every 45 seconds. 12) Upon hearing yourself, pick up your cell phone and answer it. 13) Only talk in song titles. Stranger: Where do you live? You: We ALL live in a Yellow Submarine. ...later... Stranger: What did you say to that? You: Shake your tailfeather! ... Stranger: I'm seeing a movie tonight. You: I'm cleaning out my closet. Sadly, your new friend may not even notice. 14) Talk rapidly and say punctuation instead of er...punctuating. "Really question mark Capital I like red comma blue comma and fish too exclamation mark" 15) Pantomime everything you say. 16) Pick one word, any word at all. Well, a slightly-commom word. Whenever said word is mentioned, get up, sqwack, tug your right ear three times, and sit back down as if nothing happened. Because nothing did happen, right? 17) Every minute or so start talking in a low, posessed sounding voice. Say some dark things in a barely distinguishable things, and then stop and talk normally again. 18)
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