The Anti-Santa
The anti-santa comes once a year
Dashing hopes and spreading fear
An evil mount caked in black snow
Dispersing despair on the houses below
He'll snuffle your cakes and swig the sherry
Once he's done he's still not merry

Footprints in your chocolate log
Stab wounds in your favourite dog
Tis' the season to be vile
Singing this song all the while

Anti-santa's coming to town
Puppies and kittens he likes to drown
He eat crisps in your bed.  He leaves the top of the toothpaste off!  He takes the dog for a walk in the middle of the night so it's too tired when you want to take it for one!  He steals the change from behind the sofa!  He leaves the top of the toothpaste off and squeezes from the middle of the tube!  He leaves the doors open!  He does't bother switching the Tv off!  He doesn't flush the toilet!  He knocks on your door then runs away!  He phones you up and breathes heavily!  He moves your furniture around in the middle of the night so your confused in the morning!  He leaves the lights on!  He leaves the remote control in the most unlikely places! 

HE'S PURE UNADULTERATED UNFATHOMABLE UNDILUTED UNTOUCHABLE
EVIL! EVIL I TELL YOU!
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