EDUCATION

Ever since early man (politically incorrect?) began walking upright he taught his offspring everything he could while continuing to hope they would build on this knowledge and pass it to future generations. The same holds true today. Parents want their children to be more successful, better educated and have greater opportunities than they experienced during their lifetime.

 Kids today are learning much more in school than we did. They not only know how to use computers and program VCR’s, they actually have classes on sex! In bygone days, we didn’t have a lot of those things to worry about. We even had to teach ourselves about the birds and bees! It’s a good thing we learned, otherwise there wouldn’t be many of you around to read this.

 Consider what is happened to education today. First, we spend enough money annually in our school systems to probably feed and clothe the entire third world. Even so, the majority of our students’ achievements are below those of many other countries. Second, we have things like Head Start and Smart Start which I consider to be nothing more than False Start. Education MUST begin at home and continue all through the formative years.

 We now have a President dedicated to improve all walks of life through his program of “leave no child behind”. I beg to differ! It won’t work. Instead the mantra should be “leave no childs’ behind” free of woodshed discipline. We know spare-the-rod/spoil-the-child has always worked in the past, why should it be different now? Paddling bottoms increases brain activity a lot more than we realize..

 If children’s behavior cannot be corrected with corporal punishment, you can always use other means. Try reducing their weekly allowance to only $25.00. Maybe take away their giant color TV. You could even take their computer! The down side is, these things only work after the children realize they know more than their parents. This probably takes place around the age of six. At that time they obviously need more advanced learning so they are now ready for our public schools.

After they learn a little English, have the ability to add 2+2 and get 4 or graduate, whichever comes first, it’s time to advance. Forget Yale, Harvard or Duke, if they really want to survive in this world they must enroll in the “Jesse Jackson School Of Humility” to receive a well-rounded education in all things that matter today. This school has been remarkably successful for years.

These students will learn many useful things, beginning with being able to spot a TV camera and microphone a mile away. They will automatically know how to walk arm-in-arm with others while leading every protest-de-jour that comes along. He will be given the secret of continuously speaking for hours delivering slanderous half-truths, outright lies and false accusations against any and all who disagree with his positions. You will be taught others are in desperate need of your wise and all-knowing counsel. You will be privy to the secrets of using different types of psuedo extortion against individuals, corporations and even our government so they will actually beg to be allowed to support your lavish tax-free life style. This school even offers field trips to far-away places such as Chicago and Florida so you may learn to vote properly.

Don’t worry about your SAT scores; this school will accept anyone with left-leaning socialistic views compatible with their own desire to tear down and destroy our accepted way of life. After satisfactorily completing your studies, you will receive a gold embossed framed diploma. This diploma is the same as the ones given to previous alumni such as Al Sharpton, Barbara Boxer, Alcie Hastings, Allen Colmes, the Clintons and others too numerous to mention. You will be proud to display it on a wall in your multi-million dollar mansion. Sorry, only those graduating magna-cum-laude receive the title of “reverend”.

Gene Mays

1/12/2001