| This Yankees roster is bizarre. |
| This Yankees roster as designed by a Boston Red Sox fan pokes fun at the Yankees that pissed me off so much that I had to make fun of other celebrities in revenge; that’s how mad I was.
The Lineup: SS Derek Cheater (from Derek Jeter) (Hey, I said that name and he takes it!) CF Burnhe Williams (from Bernie Williams) (Burn him?) 3B Pay-Rod (from A-Rod) (Everyone who hates him calls him that! I don’t.) RF Gary Cantfield (from Gary Sheffield) (If you had said “Gary Shitfield,” I’d really flip.) DH Jason Sheambi (from Jason Giambi) (I don’t know how you could be mean to the Jason Giambi Cat.) LF Hideki Fatsushi (from Hideki Matsui) (He’s not fat.) 1B Tino Fartinez (from Tino Martinez) (Ditto for the “Cheater” thing. Don’t you DARE talk about my Tino like that!) C Jorge Poorsada (from Jorge Posada) (That wasn’t funny.) 2B Tony Slowmack (from Tony Womack) (Why is he slow?) The Pitching Staff: Mandy Johnson (from Randy Johnson) (I don’t like the Unit, anyway.) Strike Youseenone (from Mike Mussina) (How about “Mike Poossina?”) Jaret Wrong (from Jaret Wright) (Well, he’s cute but he ain’t the best pitcher I’ve seen.) Kevin Frown (from Kevin Brown) (Never seen him.) Carl PavaNO (’Nuff said.) (Whatever.) Cruddy Groom (I don’t know who he’s mimicking here. Maybe it’s Shawn Chacón? Nah.) Tom Boredom (from Tom “Flash” Gordon) (I like him!) Mariano (Rivera) (I like him, too.) Bench: Ruben Tiara (from Ruben Sierra) (He’s not a girl.) Bubble Crosby (from Bubba Crosby) ([Makes bubble sounds]) Pay Sanchez (from Ray Sanchez) (Never seen him.) Mandy Phillips (from Andy Phillips) (Him, neither.) Con Flaherty (from John Flaherty) (He ain’t helped Posada-style in the ’05 season.) The Coaching Staff: Joe Boreme (from Joe Torre) (Leave him alone, already!) Mel Startafire (from Mel Stottlemyre) (Now that he’s gone, you Red Sox fans won’t have to worry about him starting fires anymore.) Well, golly, Boston Red Sox worshippers hating the living daylights out of the Yankees are like rock music lovers showing major resentment for disco and other forms of “pop” music. And you think the Red Sox are to rock music what the Bronx Bambinos are to pop music? I give up. I’ll take World Series History 101½ if they have that course at my college next semester, which I very much doubt they will. Source cited: The Boston Red Sox Central |