You should have SEX on days that begin with T:

Thanksgiving,

Tuesday,

Thursday,

Today,

Tomorrow,

Thaturday?

Thunday?

Every Thucking day!

Sex is:

like Nokia (connecting people)

like Nike (Just do it)

like Pepsi (ask for more)

like Coca Cola (Enjoy)

like me (too good to be true)

Top 10 Places to have sex:

In your bed

In your parents bed

In a car On a washing machine, while running

In a hot tub

On a beach, down in the sand

On a comfy couch with the TV on

On a waterbed

A plane bathroom

In the rain

Top 10 Places NOT to have sex:

In the movies

In a car... WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING!

In front of all of your friends

In a phonebooth

In your best friend's bed

At Grandma's house

At school

In your dirty basement

In the street

ON-LINE

Top three things to say before having sex:

I love you (but only if you mean it)

Rock my world

Let's get ready to RUMBLE...

Top three things NOT to say before having sex:

Is this gunna hurt?

Sure....I've done this thousands of times...

Are you sure it's on there?

Top 3 things to say after sex:

Are you sure this was you're first time?

Gotta cigarette?

Wanna do it again?

Top 3 things NOT to say after sex:

That was IT??

I think I hear my mom calling me ---- see ya

OOPS, the condom broke! My bad!