Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

It is illegal to gargle in public places.

In New Orleans:
You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.

In Sulphur
It is illegal to be an alcoholic.
It is illegal to have sex with a cow.
Drive-thru liquor stores are outlawed.