You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.

The English language is not to be spoken.

In Champaign:
One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

In Chicago:
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
Spitting is forbidden
In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. In Crete:
It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
Cars may not be driven through the town.

In Eureka:
A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman

In Joliet:
Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.

In Kenilworth:
A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.

In Normal:
It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

In Zion:
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.