A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Oral sex is illegal.

You may not kiss your wife's breasts.

It is illegal to sell your children

In Hialeah:
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

In Sarasota:
If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.
You may not catch crabs.

In Tampa:
Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing".*
Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.**

*Citation: Sec. 14-96. Female nudity for commercial exploitation.

(a) It is unlawful conduct in any commercial establishment for any person to procure, counsel, aid, assist or permit a female person to appear and expose, exhibit, display or reveal or for any female person to appear, expose, exhibit, display or reveal her nude breast or breasts or lower part of the torso, beginning at the hip line and buttocks, uncovered or covered by any costume or garment which, by virtue of construction or transparency of material, exposes, exhibits, displays or reveals the nipple of the breast or the pigmented area adjacent thereto or the lower part of the torso as described in this subsection under any of the following conditions:

(1) While performing customary "barroom" type of nude dancing commonly referred to as "topless" and/or "bottomless" dancing;

(2) While serving any food or beverage;

(3) In connection with the promotion or the sale of any product or service.

(b) For the purpose of this section, the "nude breast" is hereby defined as the exposure, exhibition, display and revelation, either continually or intermittently, of the nipple or the pigmented portion adjacent thereto, otherwise defined as the areola.

(c) The provisions contained in this section shall not apply to the exhibition, presentation, showing or performance of any play, ballet, drama, tableau, production or motion picture in any theater, concert hall, museum, school or other similar establishment which is devoted to such presentation as a form of expression, as differentiated from commercial or business promotion or exploitation of nudity for the purpose of advertising, promoting, selling or serving products or services or otherwise advancing the economic welfare of a commercial or business enterprise.

(Ord. No. 89-238, � 2(24-76), 9-28-89)

**Citation: Sec. 14-148. Prohibited activities.

(a) No person within an adult use shall, within six (6) feet of another person, display or expose any specified anatomical area or engage in any specified sexual activity, provided, however, that this provision shall not apply to prevent:

(1) Adult use employees or entertainers at an adult use from using dressing room facilities that are not accessible or viewable by patrons or the public and so long as such use does not include the intentional touching of the specified anatomical area of another person or such persons engaging in any specified sexual activity; or

(2) Any person from using bathroom facilities within an adult use so long as such use does not include the intentional touching of the specified anatomical areas of another person or such persons engaging in any specified sexual activity.

(b) No person who owns or operates an adult use shall knowingly, or with reason to know, permit, suffer or allow any violation of subsection (a) above.

(Ord. No. 99-265, � 1, 12-2-99)