| Part 2 I did one of the stupidest things ever last night. I can�t believe it. I officially stopped singing. For good. I�m not going to sing anymore. The one thing that has kept me alive throughout my life, I�m not doing anymore. But then, is it really a stupid decision? In all honesty, no, it�s not. But I can tell you something that is stupid. After I got my tickets, I invited a �friend� to go with me to the show. WRONG MOVE! Of course, how was I supposed to know that was stupid? I mean, Missy was always nice to me and by the end of sixth grade, I thought that we had created a really good friendship. Well� I guess everyone learns sometime what good friend really means. Oh, stupid of me. I�m getting ahead of myself again. Well anyway, it�s August of 1999. I go to my school registration to meet my teachers and get my schedule for that school year. I saw Missy when I was meeting my choir teacher. I was so happy, I decided to say hi and tell her about going to the concert. I got two words out of my mouth and she told me to shut up and move. Wow� that wasn�t what I was expecting. I was kind of upset when I left registration because my best friend had told me to basically leave her alone. That was not what I had been expecting at all. I was really upset, but in the end I just brushed it off. On the first day of school, I went into my second hour class, high math. I was so excited to be chosen for high math because my academics were always something that I cherished. My daddy told me that school was the most important thing in my life. I secretly disagreed with him because of course, my Backstreet Boys were the most important, but I let him think what he wanted. Back to what I was saying. A girl I had talked to just a little bit during elementary school was in that class. The thing was, she was the only person I knew from my former school in that class. Kayla, the sweetest person I have met in all of my short life. We became friends fast because I was very shy and wouldn�t like talking to the other kids in the class. Aside from that, everyone seemed to think that they were somehow better than I was. I didn�t like that feeling, so Kayla and I isolated ourselves from everyone else. I�ve always felt that Kayla, although very nice, was also very na�ve. I recognized it in her, which in turn led me to realize it in myself. Slowly, but surely, I found myself trying to experience a lot more things. Things I never thought of myself doing. I did them all for one purpose�to learn more about myself and the rest of the world. In my quest for knowledge, I used the Internet a lot. Most of the time that I was on wasn�t for school assignments or because I liked talking in chatrooms or writing to members I didn�t know. It was my all for my Backstreet Boys. I loved them so much and I just knew that someday, I would meet one of them, and they�d fall in love with me and ask me to marry them right on the spot. After all, that is what the fan fiction I read said, and that was what I believed. (FYI, My little �quest for knowledge� only happened because of my BSB obsession) School didn�t matter to me at all anymore. I was failing math and science; all of my teachers were so disappointed that I wasn�t living up to my potential. They knew how good I could do. Why wasn�t I even trying anymore? But what did I care? I had the Internet; I had my Backstreet tickets. What more did I need? Absolutely nothing. What can I say? I was obsessed to the point of making up little pathetic stories about the Backstreet boys� or rather, just Nick. I guess you could say that I was writing fan fiction for myself, but I never really have thought about these as fan fiction. In my opinion, every Backstreet fan has had one or two of these fantasies about the boys. October 28, 1999 (an entry from my diary.) Guess who! I am so excited about the BSB concert, I just cant seem to get it off my mind. My mind keeps wondering, my imagination is working overtime. I am starting to dream that I am Nick Carter�s young and talented sister. Now I am catching myself think it in my spare time. I�m starting to think that my subconscious is trying to tell my something, but Nick Carter�s sister; yeah right. I wish. I bet every little girl goes through something like this, except I�m not exactly little anymore. Maybe it�s just that I want to see the concert so badly, and meet them even more. If I could just meet one of them, or even a cousin of a cousin of a friend of the grandma would be fine. Missy�s aunt may be a security guard that night and she will try to get us backstage. If that happens I will forever be in debt to her. Missy and I are going to have a blast at the concert. And guess what else, it�s on a school night!!! If my dad has ever been any cooler, I don�t know when. Just think, me meeting the Backstreet Boys. Wow! Why cant my dreams ever come true? Now, if you tell anyone what I have just written, I will rip out all of these pages and burn them. This is all confidential. If anyone knew that I think I�m Nick Carter�s little sister, or wish I was, really, there goes my popularity. Talk to ya soon! Mindy P.S. There is only one week left before the concert! This will be so very cool! I look back on those pages and absolutely hate them, but at the same time, I love every single one. Without them, I would know nothing of what I was like, because I tend to ignore, and forget most of my faults. Oh, crap. My dad just got home from work, I need to get off before he knows I�m on. Talk to you guys tomorrow. Bye I_Lobbles_You has logged out of Backstreet chat 9 there are now 32 members here Howieslatinlova: I don�t know why because stuff like this never interests me, but I really like what shes saying. Nickaarongirl: I know exactly what u mean. I�ve been in here most all of the night waiting for her to come on. do u notice that she never answers any of our questions but just keeps going on with her little story�. that kind of makes me mad� but I kind of like it too. Crazy4nick37685: she doesn�t answer because she knows it stupid Cmjq42: I don�t think so crazy� don�t you get that this is a real life story? This happened to someone. I cant wait to know the rest ya know? Howieslatinlova: exactly. I mean how many people would think they are nicks sister? Its crazy but almost seems real. Crazy4nick37685: whatever Howieslatinlova: why r u back here tonight crazy if u don�t want to hear what she was saying? Crazy4nick37685: because I want to tell my friends how stupid she is. I cant believe that this girl was popular. Shes so messed up. Cmjq42: no shes not. These were her innermost thoughts. If you like a guy you don�t go around telling everyone, do you? That�s like this. She never told anyone what we are now hearing. You should feel privileged. Crazy4nick37685: bullshit� privileged.. that�s like so funny. Anyway, im leaving. I don�t want to stay in here with you morons. Crazy4nick37695 has logged out of Backstreet chat 9 there are now 31 members here |