A Single Tear

Once upon a time there was a girl who was destined for wonderfully important things. When she was young, she believed in her destiny with all her heart, as the young often do. As she grew older, learned more, she began to doubt, just a little bit, but never enough to voice it. But, one day, she was grown up. She was an adult, with adult hopes and fears and uncertainties. And, on that day when she realized she'd lost her childhood forever, she found that she'd lost her belief in her destiny as well. Even more, she'd lost her faith in the entire concept of destiny...especially her own. All she knew anymore were the events that took place, how they made her feel, and hope. The only thing she possessed, controlled, was her story. No one else knew her story as she did and none could tell it as well as she could.

So, on one lonely, cold fall day, she sat down to write her story. She wrote of how her life began in a tiny mobile home, surronded by love and how she believed that it would end empty and desolate. She wrote of her true love (Geoff), her soulmate (Stormy), her hero (Mom), her roommate (Chelle), her infatuation (Chris), her opposite (Ang). She wrote of her home in Center Ridge, her residence in Little Rock, and the home of her heart on a beach in Pensacola, being washed clean by the salty, sandy waves. She wrote of her dream of being loved by someone unconditionally. She wrote of the involuntary loss of her innocence. She wrote of the loss of her goals that went with her innocence. She even wrote of inconsequential things, like her Care Bear and her job at Spencer's.

Then she finished. She read back over her story, her feelings, her life. She remembered every word with vivid clarity. She laughed and she cried...but, at the end, she felt emptier than ever. Her story had no end. And what better time to end when one has no one left to share their story with? So she sat very still and watched the life leave her lonely body, watched her story leave her, bit by bit. And, before consciousness left her, she realized that she was truly lost now...she could no longer remember her story. It all ended with a single tear.

it all ended with just one single tear
all that was left of her hope, her fear
for in that moment, much became clear
that moment when life was no longer near

it all began with just two silly guys
all covered up with two million lies
easily blocking out such desperate cries
she had within her only so many tries

there were always those who seemed not the same
she believed their illusions, so sweetly they came
but, in the end, only she was to blame
though she knew better, she believed all their claims

when she stopped trusting, she lost all her hope
quit looking for someone that could help her cope
can't wash away loss, not with all heaven's soap
so she ended her life at the end of a rope